Week Six

Before I dive into this post let me just say that I am glad I am trying this out before Generations is released.  Once those Romance Reputation Points (or whatever) are in effect this challenge will become a whole lot harder.  I will probably have to try it again.  Next time I’ll be sure to plop my Simself in town.  >:)

I started playing a bit but when I clicked into town view my game crashed!  Uh-oh, could this mean Wilde has too many children? Nahhh…

Right away Sunday morning at 3:45 am Wilde became the father of another set of twins.  This time by Yusun.  I really can’t wait to see how her children come out.

Then I get this popup.  Bella and Sam Sekemoto tied the knot.  Looks like all she needed was an awesome make over.  Bella, you are welcome.

Around this time Wilde also finished the Marathon Runner Challenge so lets hope he lives a longer, healthier life like it says.

I sent Wilde over to the Ursine house to have a quickie with Yusun and this is what I found.

Mitchell: WAA!!!  The floor is cold and dirty!!!  It smells like feet!!!  WAAA!!!

His twin sister was downstairs on the living room floor.  Oh, by the way, i gave Yusun freckles.  I like her even more now.  She may show up in another game of mine…

Wilde: Wanna take a ride on my disco stick?

Once lullaby and impregnation were achieved Wilde was on his way to to Monika Morris.

About this time I noticed Wilde had enough relationship points to name his car.  He named it Jamie, after the woman that gave him is first child.  Jamie is now and elder and useless.

Before Wilde could even get to the door I could hear the children inside crying.

Wilde: I really need to invite more women to my house.

The problem with that is most of them stand him up for some reason.  It couldn’t be his treatment of them could it.  Anyway, making house calls like an Avon lady guarantees that there will continue to be more and more pregnant women in town.  Now if we can keep them from aging so soon…

Britney and Wilde were getting it on while Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd had another baby.

Monika has apparently been pregnant most of her adult life and can not remember how to walk normal.  That or Wilde broke her.  O.o

Monika: Even when I’m not pregnant I still feel pregnant.

Wilde: That’s probably due to your stretched out ute.  The only cure I know of is to have another baby.  Good thing I’m here.

What a nice guy!

Monika and Wilde also left poor Brittney in charge of the children.

Brittney: Oh, I wish someone would just shoot me.

So sorry, Britt, but I think your life of torture is just beginning.

After Wilde was finished with Monika he headed over to Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd’s house.  He was stalling because walked the entire way there.  Not walked, strutted, that stupid I-take-forever-to-go-anywhere-strut!!!  I like the strut, I just wish it only lasted 15-30 sim minutes.

Wilde: *sings* She’s gonna have my baby.  She’s gonna have my baby…

Tom: *deep breathy whisper* Wilde, I knew you’d come for me.

Wilde: Whoa, hey.  Ever heard of personal space, Tamara?  A man need room to, you know, escape your breath function.

Some finished the salad Tamara had started and it was like the farmer poured the slop for the pigs because they all came running.

Glen Hatch: Meghan get away from the plate!  You ate yesterday, it’s my turn to eat!

Meghan Donnor-Sw0rd: Come between me and this plate and I will eat your ear like a circus peanut!

Emma Hatch interrupted Tamara and Wilde’s romp in the sack.

Emma: Oh no!  I can’t believe this!  I’m going to impale myself with my arm!

Emma: (addressing Tamara) Look, when you’re done in here you need to deal with your kid. (addressing Wilde) You and I are over.

Bella (Bachelor) Sekemoto gave birth to a son at 7:40 pm:

Bella’s turn was next.

Wilde: It’s a good thing your husband doesn’t live with you yet.  If you want to stay married, that is.

Bella: My husband has nothing to do with what happens in the bedroom.

And off to Morgana Wolff’s house where Gus Hart was blocking the way in.

Gus Hart: Sorry, Mr. Wilde, sir.  The Boss says I ain’t s’pose’ta let you in.

Never one to be told no, Wilde found another way in.

Wilde: Oh, Morgana, I came in through the back door.

Morgana: Oh, Wilde!  My husband has gone crazy.  He doesn’t trust me and posts a guard outside while he’s gone.

Morgana: Wilde, take me to the bedroom.

Wilde: Wait…  …  … okay let’s go.

Once Wilde finished with Morgana he went to River (McIrish) Landgraab’s house.

Wilde: Uh jeez.  What smells like piss?

JC: That’s probably me.  I dribbled in my pants a little bit.  There kinda damp.

Wilde: TMI, son.  I would have blamed it on the old guy if I were you.

River: OMG, JC!  Get to the bathroom now before Uncle Wilde leaves!  Get to the bathroom now!  Right now!

JC: I’m going, I’m going.

While JC rushed off to the bathroom River and Wilde rushed to the bedroom and left her husband and son in-law with the criers.

Malcolm: Where did your wife go?  Shouldn’t she be taken care of these brats?  I come over here so I don’t have to deal with my own, why would I help with yours?

Malcolm is married to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab who has four of Wilde’s children with another on the way.

Geoffrey: Dammit, you’re right.  Where did that woman go?

Geoffrey was forced into the kitchen to make the crybabies something to eat. When he started to hear odd sounds coming from the room above.

Geoffrey: I sense betrayal!

About this time Madison gave birth to another child:

Geoffrey and Malcolm went upstairs to see what all the ruckus was.

Geoffrey: Well lookie here.  Looks like we got a fight on our hands.

Malcolm: I’m gonna break me some bones. *cracks knuckles*

Geoffrey: Son, go get my icepick.

Goeffrey rounded the end of the bed and that is when Wilde lost it.  And by it, I mean his bladder.  Wilde wet his pants out of sheer terror.

Wilde: Hey, I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Wilde quickly recovered himself and decided to taunt Geoffrey as he left.

Geoffrey: You’re going to sleep with the fishes.

Wilde: *sings* Oops I did it again.  I slept with your wife.  She’ll be pregnant for life.  Gimme some babies, babies…

Then Wilde ran off to meet Holly Alto at the theater.  Left her pregnant and Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor was there, so he banged her too.  Then he ran to console Darlene about her father’s death.  He knocked her up.

Then before he left he convinced her to breakup with his son Derrick and date him instead.  Of course Darlene jumped at the chance.  And with hat Wilde completed his Lifetime Wish.  Thank you Darlene!

Hmmm…  I wonder what he will do next.  Probably BANG SOME CHICKS!

Early Tuesday morning Pauline Wan gave Wilde another daughter.

So it was only natural that Wilde pay her a visit.  When he arrived this is the sight that greeted him.  Notice Janny Wan is compulsively counting her fingers and Brendon Wan is creepily staring out the window at his new baby sister, Leticia, who is ON THE GROUND!  Really, Pauline, did you just give up trying?  And the other little one to the left is Qiana Wan; I think she may be trying to escape her family.

Janny: One, two, thr..wait.  One, two, three, f…wait…

As soon as Wilde entered the door her walked straight for the bedroom.  Pauline was overcome with excitement and gave a loud cheer.

Pauline: ALRIGHT!  YESSS!!!  HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!one!!!

As Wilde and Pauline were getting jiggy with it (nah nah nanannananah) Eguardo entered the room making him the 10th child scarred for life.  Janny also entered the room looking from Qiana.  If you’ll remember from Janny’s toddler years she has already been scarred by Wilde and Pauline’s antics.  Perhaps this is why she compulsively counts her fingers.

Eguardo: Mommy, what’s happening!

Janny: Have you seen Qiana?  Anyone…two, three…

Knocking Pauline up made every fertile woman in town pregnant at the same time!  That was the case for about two house until Ayesha Ansari gave birth to another boy.

Then as Wilde was driving to the Ansari home two more children were born.

And before Wilde could begin to seduce Ayesha, another child was born.

And another.

And another…

Seriously, this is ridiculous!  Finally, there was another set of twins.

If you remember, Zelda is now an elder:

Come on you little cock-blockers!  Wilde is trying to get some action and you’re lagging up the game!!!  Uhhhhh, my game is sooooo s-l-o-w now.  I think some old people need to start dying, maybe the old women…

Finally the birthing stopped and I tried to get Wilde and Ayesha to spawn.  Only, Ayesha’s children were blocking the way to the FREAKING DOOR!!!  MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!!  Notice there is a baby inside on the floor as well.

After Wilde finally got Ayesha into bed I forgot to take a picture.  -_-

Anyway, he left her impregnated and drove over to the McGraw House where he ruined yet another marriage.

First, when Wilde walked through the door Lisa’s children were screaming for various reasons.  This made everyone in the house angry or sad.

Wilde: This place smells like baby puke and poop.

Lisa: Oh, I hate my life.

Shasta: More babies!  More babies!!!  I HATE BABIES!!!

Lisa and Wilde started making out in front of her husband Stiles.  After all the person person minuses he came over to have a closer look.  I love his expression.

Stiles: Lisa?  Darling?

Lisa and Wilde made their way upstairs where Wilde made her feel better for a little while (until the morning sickness kick in).

Lisa: I’m so sad.  My dad died and I have a house full of crying babies.

Wilde: It’s getting old.  Just get on the bed and I can get the Hell out of here.

Three more children were born while Lisa and Wilde were bumping uglies.  Wilde’s Childbirth ESP was going crazy.

I also received a notice that Wilde’s daughters Griselda and Lindy Wan became young adults.  Here are their pictures after the makeovers.  Griselda (first pic) looks a lot like her mother.

I’ll try to get them in on the downloads page if there is any interest.

At this point I placed a few starter homes around town, hoping people would spread out and or maybe some new females would move in (which I doubt).  Wilde is four days from being an elder, I am hoping for the best.

Now early Wednesday morning and I sent Wilde over to Sandi French’s house.

Wilde: I’m here Sandi.

Sandi: To the bedroom then?

But when they entered the bedroom Nichol (dress) and Elsa were already in there.

Nichol: Don’t do it.  Don’t have another baby, Mother. I…will…choke…myself…  aack…aack!

Sandi: Girls, Mommy needs the bedroom for a while.  Go watch TV.

Luckily the girls did leave the room and their sanity was saved.  Well, Elsa’s sanity…

Just between you and me, I think Molly was a little jealous.

After hearing the lullaby I sent Wilde home to the treadmill.  As soon as it was socially acceptable Wilde made his rounds.

First he called Emma Hatch and invited him over.  When she refused he then invited her out to the theater.  When she refused again Wilde paid her a visit at her home; because no one tell’s Wilde no.

Wilde: Whoa!  Tamara is OLD!  Thank you sweet, merciful Simgod!

As Wilde waited forever for the door to be answered.  Hello! You have windows, he can SEE you!  Ayesha Ansari married Connor Frio, the town ape.

Geoffrey and River have made up.  But really, who is he kidding, River is his last chance.  Wilde has tapped all the ladies this town has to offer.

And Yusun gave birth to a son.

I guess Emma was still a little peeved over the whole finding Wilde in bed with Tamara thing.

They still had the make up woohoo anyway.

Emma’s neighbor Monika Morris gave birth.

So that is where Wilde went after he was finished with Emma.

Cyclone: Are you here for Tamara?

Wilde: Nah, that dude’s all yours.

Cyclone: But you’ve soiled my bed!!!!

Notice the baby in the background has passed out from exhaustion.

Again Wilde insisted on anoying my with his Strut of Pride.  He strutted the whole freaking way to Monika’s house, that brown one there.

Did he stop strutting when the bufff wore off?  NO!!!  It took him a whole 3.5 hours to strut his ass over to Monika’s house.  This better be worth it.  Bastard.

I was checking out the surrounding as Wilde was CRAWLING to Monika’s house.  I am looking for a mod to take that strut out!  Anyway, I decided to look up in the sky and lookie what I found.  An airplane!

I thought it was pretty cool.

Wilde finally made it to Monika’s house which was full of crying babies.  It was like being at the pediatrician.  Wilde started to make his move and I noticed this little demon sweetie.  I’m sure she’s a lovely child…

Sommer: *stink eye*

Monika is still broken.  She walks with the pregnancy waddle even when she isn’t.  I think she many need to have her spine adjusted

Monika: Llama balls, my back hurts.

Children: I’m tired!  I’m Sleepy!

Brittney: *gritting teeth* Shut up before I give you something to cry about.

Wilde met Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto at the theater and he plowed her fields.

Then Wilde invited Yusun over to his house, she ended up staying the night.  She had to have another makeover.  I took the CC out of the laptop to try and improve my game (I kept the freckles skin), but it didn’t help.  It’s all those kids!

Wilde: Ready for Patty Cake?

Yusun: I’m always ready for Patty Cake.

Thursday morning Wilde decided to throw a twins party at his place.  He invited all the pregnant women he knew.  Before the party got underway he invited Bebe Hart over for a quick game of hide the sausage.  And before the party could even start two women gave birth.  Way to spoil the fun!

And one got married and left her new husband at home while she went to Wilde’s party.

The first person to show was Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor.  She made a bee line for the hot tube.  Maybe she wants a poached baby.

Madison: Ahhhhhhhh…

She did eventually come into the house and promptly went into labor!

After she had everyone screaming and freaking out she very calmly took herself to the hospital.

Just after Madison had her baby Fiona McIrish died.

Wilde and Morgana tried to sneak away as people started to filter out.

While Wilde was trying to get his laggy butt into the bed Bebe had some enjoyment of her own.

Beb: YES!  I took a massive dump in Wilde’s toilet.  This was AWESOME!!!  Best party ever!

Wilde is not going to be happy about that.

Just as Wilde started to settle onto the bed Morgana jumped out with a flash and ran out the door.

Morgana: I’ve got to go.  Thorton is going to be home soon.

Wilde (from the bedroom): But we didn’t woohoo yet!

So instead Wilde decided to burn off some frustration on the treadmill.   While he was running Ayesha (Ansari) Frio was partying all by herself in the bedroom.

Ayesha: *waiting for Wilde*

Sorry, Ayesha, you’re knocked up.  You’re not getting lucky tonight.

After this I went into town view to see who needed some attention from the Wilde Stallion.  When I tried to click on Darlene Bunch’s icon nothing would happen.  So I went in for a closer view and what do you know!  Darlene was in labor!!!!

I sent Wilde to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s instead.   On the way there Darlene gave birth.

Wilde’s son Tyler Langerak is his TWIN *sings*.

Too bad he is forever emotionally scarred from witnessing what no child should ever have to witness.  He was actually scarred earlier, maybe he likes it?  Yuck!  Venus brings the total to 11.

Venus: Tyler, what’s happening on the bed?

Tyler: Don’t look, Venus.  Just don’t look.

Bed: *harp music*

What a great way to start a Friday!  And on this day Wilde is two days from elderhood.

Wilde’s daughter Tamara French became a young adult.  Her she is after he makeover.

I sent Wilde home to waste a couple hours and across the street I see Griselda Wan and Christopher Crumplebottom-Steel.  Looks like they were having and eyebrow lifting contest.  I wonder who won…

Wilde got out of his car and took a look in the side view mirror.

Wilde: So hot.  *touches rear* ptssss…

As soon as I could I sent Wilde over to Darlene’s place so he could have his way with her.  She nearly wet herself when she saw Wilde.  Jeez, she’s hideous.

Darlene: Must rush to the bathroom.  Having trouble.with.bladder.since.baby…

Maybe she should start investing in adult diapers, it’s not like that is going to be her last baby or anything.

Another baby was born, another Chauncey.

Once Wilde was finished with Darlene he turned her TV on to the KidsZone Channel and ran out the door to the theater.  He had a double date with Morgana and River.

Once there Wilde lagged his way through the date.  River, who just lost her husband, ended up leaving pissed off.  Morgana turned into an elder.  This date was a bust!

While the date was lagging.  I scoped out the school again.  Oh my, who’s children are those!!!

And they aren’t all fully loaded yet.  After I took the picture more of them were appearing like magic.

Wilde did finally get into Madison (VanWaton) Bachelor’s pants.  She then gave him the fright of his life.

Madison: RAWRRRIWANNAHAVEYOURBABIES!!!!!!

Wilde: *panics*  I didn’t sleep with her!

Great!  Now what am I going to do she’s scared the fertility out of him.  Madison dies if she’s made him sterile.

Bella rode by the theater on her bike in her bikini.  Personally, I think she was looking for Wilde.  She probably rode by his house three times before coming to the theater.

Bike: *ring, ring*

No problem, Wilde followed her home.

Bella: Is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Wilde: Come closer and find out.

Sandi French-Alvi gave birth.

And Griselda Wan married Christopher Steel.

The next morning (Saturday and the last day of the week),  Sandi French-Alvi came over for some X-Rated fun.

Wilde and Sandi: *really gross makeout sounds*

After Sandi was booted out of bed Wilde ran over to Waylan’s Haunt and invited River back to his place.  Zelda nearly distracted him.

River: OMG!  Zelda where is your body!

Zelda: I’ve reached nirvana and therefore have no need of a body any longer.

Once Wilde got her back to his hot tub it was playtime.

Wilde: Wanna wrestle?

River: Oh, I will be all over you!

Wilde: I hope so…

Next it was time to pay Tori (Kimura) Frio a visit.  Tori has been having a problem with finding her way home.  Smart Sim that she is, she’s been leaving a trail of babies to follow so she never gets lost.

In no time Tori had Wilde Wilde had Tori in the bedroom.

Tori: Are you ready to be dominated?

Wilde: Please be gentle…

And Emma hatch gave Wilde another girl.

Then it was off to the theater to meet up with Holly (Alto) Langerak.

Holly: Shall we play a game of the quill and the well again?

Monika Morris had another child.  She’s probable still walking like she’s about to give birth though.

The Wilde met Emma Hatch and Ayesha Ansari at the theater.  Emma tried to convince Wilde to take Brenda.  But you know Wilde stallions need to run free and all…
Emma: I’m done raising kids.  I have, like, k15 or somethin’ at home.  You can have this one.

Wilde: Look, a Wilde stallion can not be tamed.  I need to feel the wind in my hair.  I need to fly…wait…  No.

Ayesha: Stupid woman, shut up and get in the theater!

Speaking of the Hatch children.  As I was looking through the Family Tree I noticed this little gem:

I guess Glenn Hatch isn’t the brightest crayon in the box.  Must be hard to be the only teenager in Elementary School.

On his way over to Monika Morris’ house Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto gave Wilde another girl.

Monika is becoming more broken.  Wilde only has the option to woohoo with her, no try for baby options.  Could it be that she ran out of eggs?  Whatever is going on if she can’t give up another child she doesn’t get anymore of Wilde’s attention. Instead Wilde made his way to Blair’s house.

Their daughter Becky doesn’t look happy to be stuck watching the kids.

Yusun had another child:

And then all at once a bunch of Wilde’s children grew into Young Adults (alphabetical order) :

Bobbie McIrish, for some reason she reminds me of Claire Robinson from The Food Network.

Celia Landgraab

Edmond McIrish

Garland Mae

Manu Landgraab

Sandra Jolina

And that’s it for Week Six.  During this week there were 32 children born bringing the grand total to: 188.  Also, Wilde is now 0 days from becoming and elder.  This one was a little harder t write and take pictures of due to lag.  Sorry if the story isn’t as good this week.   I’ll delete my cache files and hopefully have great results.

Here is a look at the current family tree:

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 19 Comments

Week Five

12:02 am Sunday morning: Lisa (Bunch) McGraw is on her way out the door and Wilde is calling Zelda Mae over for some fun.

Zelda came right over.  That’s not the football hold!

Zelda: I am so tired…why does my arm feel heavy?

After Wilde was finished with Zelda and a little time on the treadmill he drove over to Bebe Hart’s apartment.

Bebe: So…the bedroom?

Wilde: Yeah, that sounds good.

They thought they left the children to their own devices in the living room.

Brook: But Mom I’m hungry and you promised I could have ice cream with Elias!

Elias: Nomnomnom

Bebe: *entering bedroom* Shut up, mommy needs 15 mminutes.

Wilde: Uhh, three minutes.

But unfortunately Mandy Hart followed them, making her the seventh child Wilde has scarred for life!

And then at 10:00 am Ayesha Ansari gave Wilde twins.

When they were finished Wilde grabbed his phone and called Sandi French.

Wilde: …yeah, can you meet me at my place?

Bebe: O-M-G!  Are you call another woman?

Wilde: Nah, it’s the repairman.

Bebe: O-M-G!  I totally thought you were calling another girl!

Wilde: You don’t say.

Bebe: O-M-G!  Mom was totally right when she said my face would get stuck like this!

I tried four times, but I never heard a lullaby.  My children were being loud at the time though so we will see if she is with child.

When Wilde got home he and Sandi had a great time in the bedroom.

Wilde: Ahhhh, was it good for you?

Sandi: Errr….yeah….

And at 1:19 pm Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab gave Wilde another set of twins.

Wilde made his way over to the freshly unpregnant Ayesha Ansari’s house and knocked her up again.  Really these women just can’t tell Wilde no.

Wilde got dressed and without showering ran over to Kaylynn’s because literally every young adult and adult female in this town is pregnant!!!!  Before he got to her place I took a quick picture of the most populated area of the town. This was taken on Sunday at 4:17 pm.  Notice all of the blue or cyan colored icons?  Those are all of Wilde’s children.

Kaylynn and Wilde left the children crying in the other room and had a little Mommy/Daddy Time together.

One of them forgot to close the door and a little one got in.  Scarred for life total: 8.

Tyler: Momma?

After porking Kaylynn until she squealed; Wilde left for home where he met River (McIrish) Landgraab. She was very excited to be in Wilde’s company.

River: Oh, I hope I get pregnant again!  I just love having your children and raising them all on my own!!!

Wilde: Ain’t no thang, baby.  Let’s go to the bedroom.

After the long day Wilde had River was harder to please than expected.  She exhausted Wilde and he clearly needed to shower.

Wilde: Zzzzz…

River: Zzzzz…

Then Wilde’s Childbirth Sense tingled.  He quickly got up and moodlet managed his way to a happy place and ran out the door like a super hero.  Watch out women of Sunset Valley here comes…IMPREGNATOR MAN!  He’s cumming to save the day!  He needs a cape that can double as a blanket.

Wilde: River, I must go.  Simwhere, simone has had a child…

River: Zzzz…

But before he could get to the Wolff residence Wilde stopped by the theater for a quickie with Bella.

Wilde: Right this way, Bella, it will only take but a moment.

After leaving Bella at the theater to clean up.  Wilde made his way to the Wolff House.  Where he had a bit of woo practice before ringing the doorbell.

Maybe Morganna makes him nervous.  He was clearly alone when this picture was taken.

Wilde finally pulled it together and got on with the show.  Looks like Morgana is trying to start a new fashion movement: Sweats and Heals.

Morgana: Awww, I love our children.

Wilde: Let’s go inside where there aren’t any.

They went into the master bedroom where lo and behold Morgana’s husband was sleeping.

Wilde: WHAT!  I thought you said he wasn’t home.

Morgana: He wasn’t until just a few moments ago.

Wilde: *thinking* I guess I shouldn’t have stopped for that quickie on the way over.

So, Wilde, ready to handle any situation, zapped Thorton with the moodlet manager.

Wilde: Now we can get down to business.

But before any “business” could happen Morgana jumped out of the bed and told Wilde it was late and he should go.  Arrrrrgh!

So Wilde zoomed off to the cemetery where Holly Alto was hanging out.  (By this time it was about 5:00 am Monday morning.)  To get there Wilde had to drive passed Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd’s house which means…

Tamara followed Wilde to the cemetery, random children in tow.  She brought three of Emma’s Hatch’s children with her.

Holly: Who is that man over there?

Wilde: Just an admirer

Tom: *deep baritone* Wilde…  Wilde…  Hi, Wilde, remember me?

Reagan Hatch: I’m hungry, can we go now?

Tom *deep baritone* Silence spawn! Is he looking over here?  Tell me if he looks.

Wilde and Holly decided to take things to a more private location: his home.  Tamara also decided it was time to leave.  Her stalker way are completely obvious to everyone!  She was in such a hurry that she apparently left the Hatch children behind.  Reminder to all: Never let Tamara Donnor babysit your children.

Holly: I think you should think about getting yourself a restraining order.

Wilde: Why?  Is her elder birthday coming?

Once Holly and Wilde were back at his place she asked Wilde the dreaded question:

Holly: Do you have protection?

Wilde: *died a little inside*

Wilde scrambled to think of a way out of using protection.  How was he going to knock her up now?  What do they need protection for?  She already had three of his kids!  They spent a little time in the hot tub, but it broke before they could get anywhere.

Wilde: Argh!  I can’t believe this!

I sent them to the bedroom, but for some reason Wilde would not get into the bed with her.  The man just does not want to use a condom!

Meanwhile, at 9:15 Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor gave Wilde another son:

I also decided that since school was in I should grab a shot of what it looks like in the town view.  I don’t know how many there are, I can’t count that high…

I decided it was time to send Wilde and Holly off to the theater.  Maybe I would get lucky and there would be a few other non-pregnant women hanging around there.

The cinema worked, like it always does.  And as an added bonus Wilde only pretended to use protection.  Holly left the cinema with a bun in the oven.  While he was out he decided to invite some other ladies to join him.  Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor, Agnes Crumplebottom-Steel and Bebe Hart all said yes.  Morgana was apparently in the dog house with her husband because she said she couldn’t make it.  Agnes ended up standing Wilde up, River (McIrish) Landgraab took her place.

River: Hi Madison, hi Wilde, hi Bebe.

Wilde: I don’t know why your brought your kid here, Madison.  Keep him quiet.

Jamie (Jolia) Bachelor had another son:

And I guess we know why Agnes stood up The Wilde Stallion:

Then it was off to Anges Crumplebottom-Steel’s house where drama ensued!  Agnes and Wilde were in the middle of this when Christopher came home.

Needless to say this is how Christopher felt about the whole thing.

And while Christopher watched Wilde asked Agnes if he could stay over and then asked her to break up with her husband.  She readily agreed to everything, she was putty in Wilde’s manipulative hands.

Just before closing the deal at 11:43 pm Monika Morris gave Wilde a set of twin girls:

Wilde asked Agnes to be his girl.

Wilde: Now that you’re single will you be my girl?

Agnes: Yes, yes, of course!  Anything for you Wilde?

Then Agnes and Wilde when upstairs to seal the deal.

Christopher: *grumbles*

Wilde: Yes, this is exactly what you think it is.

And while Agnes and Wilde were getting in on Christopher had to hear every. single. sound.

Agnes: Okay, I’ll be the milkmaid and you’ll be…

Christopher: Is this really happening?

Poor Christopher I kind of feel bad for him.

Then Wilde got out of the bed and decided to confide in Agnes.

Wilde: I think we need to cool this off a little.  You just got out of a relationship.

Agnes: But I left Christopher for you!

Wilde: How do I know you’re not rebounding.  I don’t want to wake up one day and find that you’re not happy.  I’m doing this for you, Agnes, don’t you want be happy?

Agnes: Oh, yes.  You’re right.  Let’s give it few days.

Christopher: Agnes you are SO STUPID!!!

Feeling good about breaking up another home, Wilde left.  Or tried to…

Tuesday Wilde invited the loud and excitable Jamie (Jolina) Bunch over.

Wilde: Let’s do this, I need to be somewhere.

That’s right, Wilde’s CESP tingled.

Jamie was all too willing to jump right into bed.

Jamie: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!  I JUST HAD A BABY AND YET HERE I AM!  TAMARA DONNOR-SW0RD AND I WERE GOING TO GO SHOPPING, BUT I TOLD HER I HAD SOMETHING BETTER TO DO…

Wilde: *thinking* Oh please make her shut up.

While they were doing the wild thing another baby was born:

And before Jamie could open her mouth Wilde was out the door and on his way to Bebe Hart’s place.  Where he and Bebe made it in the elevator.  (Sorry for the bad pic my four year-old was on my lap.)  Notice the baby on the floor, these women will drop anything to be at Wilde’s beck and call.

Bebe: *giggling* Come here often?

Wilde: *missing the point* About every three to four days.

Then I caught this happening over by City Hall.  That is Christopher Steel trying to mack on Monica Morris.

Deciding that I needed to make Christopher’s life worthless I sent Wilde over to interrupt. Monika could do with another donation and Christopher hasn’t been driven close enough to the edge just yet.  Before Wilde could get there (damn that strut) Christopher changed for work and dashed off to the diner. Oh well, Monika still followed Wilde into City Hall like an obedient puppy.

While all of that was going on more children were born:

Then who should Wilde see on his way out of City Hall, but Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto!  Needless to say they busied themselves in the men’s room.

Tammie:  WAAAAA!

Wilde: Let’s take this inside where it’s quiet and smells of toilet cleaner.

And then when Wilde and Blair were done River (McIrish) Landgraab was waiting outside.  Blair and River bumped fists and Wilde and River went inside together.  That’s what I call a tag team!

Derrick Jolina, Wilde’s eldest child became a young adult.

His traits are: Neurotic, Party Animal, Perfectionist, Green Thumb and Artistic.  If anyone is interested I can put him up for download.

Then Wilde and Pauline Wan had some QT together and another child was born:

Looks like Darlene Bunch aka Pumba is dating Derrick Jolina now.  Like that is going to stop Wilde in anyway.

Derrick: I know you and my dad have this thing, but I don’t mind sloppy seconds.

Pumba: Oh Derrick, I would love to be your one and only!  And you can be my one and only once I reach elder!  I’m so glad you don’t mind helping me raise your siblings!

And at 11:44 pm Tuesday, Agnes became an elder an useless.  Good thing Wilde broke that off when he did.

Like she can stop working anytime soon, she has seven children, six of which Wilde fathered!

I sent Wilde over Emma Hatch’s place, she was due for another pregnancy.  While there as a bonus Wilde also broke up her relationship with Mortimer Goth!  *sigh*  The men of the town are really starting to hate Wilde.

Mortimer: *looking at Tamara*  There’s something funny about that lady…

Wilde: Whadya say we sneak off to the bedroom and mess up the bed?

Emma: Oh yes, yes please…

Mortimer: EMMA HATCH YOU HUSSY!!!!

And then as I was focused on getting Wilde to the bed I completely missed Mortimer slapping Emma!  GAAAAH!

Look at that, you know Mortimer is fighting the urge to look over to see Emma and Wilde together.

Satisfied that Wilde ended yet another almost happy relationship I sent him home to the treadmill.

While he was working out another baby was born.

7:00 am Wednesday morning I sent Wilde over to the McGraw house and had his way with Stiles’ wife, Lisa.

Bed: *banging and squeaking*

Baby: WAAAAAAAAA!

Stiles: Daggon kids, makin’ so much racket they woke the baby.  DON’ MAKE ME GIT MAH BELT!!!

From there Wilde drove over to Justine Keaton’s place.  During the drive Sandi gave birth to twin girls:

As an added bonus when Wilde arrived at the Keaton house her husband was still home.

Marty: I just don’t know how we keep having children, Justine.  I thought we were being careful.

Unfortunately, as soon as Wilde got there Marty changed for work and left.

Marty: Okay, I’m off to work.  Wilde oyu can help Justine with the children?

Wilde: Yeah, I can help Justine get with child with the children.

As soon as Marty left Justine and Wilde disappeared to the bedroom leaving the children to sit in their filthy diapers.

Reisa: Change me, I’m stinky!

Johanna: Uhhh, I need a bath.  I had a blowout!

Reisa: Someone wipe my butt!

Johanna: I’m starting to get a rash!

But Wilde and Justine were far to involved to care.

While they were procreating two more children were given life:

By the time Wilde and Justine were finished Marty was home.  Wilde dressed quickly and snuck out the back.

Wilde: Pfft…  Superman needs a telephone booth, not I, IMPREGNATOR MAN!

Judy Bunch died and Darlene wasn’t taking it so well.  So Wilde being the nice guy that he is invited Darlene to meet him at the theater.

Pumba: *a lot of snorting* Bububububu snnnnnNNNNNOOOORRRTTTT!

Wilde: Come Pumba, I will help you forget your mother’s demise.

And Darlene and Wilde went into the theater.  I was called away from the computer because my nearly two year old daughter spilled an entire bag of pretzels on the floor.  I forgot to pause the game, when I came back Wilde and Darlene were finished with the tour.  Grrr…

I saw that there was a pop up about Yusun Ursine becoming a young adult.  Finally!  So I had Wilde leave Darlene crying in front of the theater and drive over to the Ursine house.

Yusun was apparently expecting Wilde. She was dressed in her formal and had her hair and makeup done.  And the best part…she was home alone!

Yusun: Wilde, I have been waiting for you.

Wilde: Not as long as I have been waiting for you, Yusun.

Yusun: Follow me.

Wilde: *thinking* That was easy.

But it wasn’t, she only led him to the living room.  Wilde tried cracking jokes, but they didn’t go over very well.  Yusun wants to be woo’d.

Wilde: How about you let me dust those cobwebs for you.

Then her mother came home and they had to sneak out the back door.  Looks like Wilde is bringing this party home.

Yusun: Shhh…  She still thinks I’m a teenager.

Back at Wilde’s place things really started to heat up.

Yusun: Something about being in your house makes me feel like I should remove my clothes.

Wilde: Do what feels right. If it feels right to be naked, then be naked.

Wilde and Yusun made their way to the hot tub.  That’s where Wilde made his move.

Then somehow they were in the hot tub.

And soon Yusun was in over her head.

The next morning Yusun learned a very valuable lesson.  A lesson about wild stallions.

Yusun: Are you kidding me?

Wilde: Look, I’ve got somewhere to be.  You can show yourself out.

During the night he spent with Yusun, Bella gave birth to a baby girl:

Once Yusun got the boot Wilde made his way over to the Donnor-Sw0rd residence.

Tom: *raspy whisper* Kiss me, Wilde.

Wilde: *wipes away silent tears*

Cyclone came home to find his wife in bed with his friend.

Cyclone: Not cool, guys.  Not cool.

During Wilde and Tamara’s sexcapades Holly Alto gave birth to TRIPLETS!  I forgot to get a screenshot.

Then Wilde ran over to Bella Bachelor’s house.  but before they could get busy, I had to edit Bella in CAS.  Something about The Sims 3 version of Bella — I hate her.  So after a quick makeover Bella was ready to get it on!

*sigh* she looks much better now.

Another child was born:

Wilde had to truck it over to Justine Keaton’s house. One of his children was having a birthday.  And as luck would have it Morgana was there too!!!  Thinking they were alone in the hall Wilde suggested they sneak off to the bedroom for a little Woohoo.

Beau Andrews: WOMAN!  What is wrong with you!

Beau’s Hand: *smack, crack, slap*

Morgana: * whimpering* Must. Join. Wilde.

And as soon as Beau was finished slapping her she did join Wilde in the bedroom.  After they were finished.  Wilde and Morgana were kick out for being inappropriate.

The next morning (Friday) Wilde seduced Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor and Jamie (Jolina) Bunch gave birth to a girl.

Here’s a view of the chaos at Madison’s house.

On Wilde’s way over to Jamie (Jolina) Bunch’s house a set of twins was born to Bebe Hart:

Outside Jamie’s house was her newest daughter, sunbathing by the mailbox.  And as Wilde waited for Jamie to come to the door I could hear screaming.

Once Wilde was inside…

Manu had picked up Sadie from the cold sidewalk and brought her into the bathroom.  Thankfully he didn’t pee in her.

Manu: Keep it together, Manu.  The toilet is RIGHT THERE!

Jamie: Where it that daughter of mine?  She needs to take care of these kids!

Wilde and Jamie went into the bedroom to take care of some business.  Felipe Bunch followed them into the bedroom.  Bringing the total of children scarred for life to nine.

Wilde was on his way to a party at Pauline Wan’s place when River (McIrish) Langraab gave him twins and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto had a boy:

Wilde arrived at the party and Pauline was in labor!

Instead of being a good guy and taking Pauline to the hospital, Wilde seduced Bebe Hart.

Widle: Oh, hey, Pauline.  We’ll just be a minute.

And since Pauline had given birth during the party, Wilde decided to hit that before leaving too.

Wilde: It’s probably a good idea to wash these sheets today.

Before Wilde went home Emma Hatch gave him another daughter:

And his son Brendon Wan experimented with pooping in the upright position.  He made a mess of the toilet.

Brendon: I can pee standing, I should be able to poop standing too.

Toilet: Oh no.  No.  NOOOOOOOOO!

Saturday morning Wilde spent some time in Ayesha Ansari’s bed.

And at 10:49 am another baby was born:

And when Wilde went to Tori (Kimura) Frio’s house, what I saw shocked me.  What is wrong with this picture?

No, no.  Have a good look.  Do you see it?

EXACTLY!!!  There are no criers!  The kids here are HAPPY!  No screaming about being tired or hungry or having dirty diapers.  Tori, it seems is June Cleaver!  In the kitchen she even had breakfast started!!!  Shocking, simply shocking!

After a workout in the bedroom Wilde switched the TV to the Kids Channel before leaving.

He spent the rest of his day soliciting services at the theater.  He met a number of women there including this woman who just happened to get jumbled up into the mix.  She didn’t mind though, look at how happy she is.

Three more children were born before the end of Week Five:

At the end of Week Five 41 children were born bringing the total to 157 children.  And I forgot to mention Zelda Mae turned elder and married Gunther Goth.

There are so many children now that they have started causing pathing issues.  Not to mention that they could be sleeping the the only double bed on the lot.  It’s getting harder to keep the women knocked up.

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 23 Comments

Week Four

Week four started as it always does on Sunday morning.  And with the birth of four more of Wilde’s children:

That morning Wilde invited Emma Hatch over for some morning lovin’.  (I failed to grab a picture.  Then off to the theater to have a double feature with Holly Alto and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto.  Of course, Tamara Donno-Sw0rd followed him there so that double feature became a triple!

Wilde didn’t go home on Sunday night, instead he stayed over Victoria Andrews’.  Look at all those children on the floor; the woman doesn’t even have the decency to buy them beds!

Wilde and Mrs. Anderson did anything but sleep that night.

During the night Wilde became the father of another child:

The next morning (Monday) after leaving Victoria’s place Wilde invited Jamie (Jolina) Bunch over to his place.  She apparently got over the fact that Wilde wasn’t going to marry her and settled for the first thing that would, one of the Bunch Clan.

After she left I noticed the hot tub could really use some love.  No, not that kind of love!  It really looks disgusting! I don’t think Jamie’s taken a shower since she gave birth!

Wilde asked Madison (VanWatson) Bachelo and Morgana Wolff (who had just given birth) to meet him at the theater.  But when he got there all hell broke loose.

Babies were crying, women went into labor, women were angry with Wilde.  It was a hot mess!  It took forever, but eventually Wilde was able to coax the ladies into the theater (as the sun was setting).  Then Wilde went home and slept like a baby (unlike his cribless children).

Babies born on Monday:

On Tuesday Dorie Hart became an elder and no long of any use to Wilde.  He discarded her like a soiled disposable diaper.

Agnes Crumplebottom-Steel met Wilde at the theater nude!

Agnes: You joining me, big boy?

Wilde: Whoa, Agnes.  You should only do that in a dark room.  You’ve had a few children and things don’t look like they used to…

Wilde, he’s in touch with his sensitive side.

Then Wilde drove over to Tori Kimura’s place because she as “too busy” to meet him.  When Wilde got there he was the one keeping her busy.

While Wilde was keeping Tori busy I scanned town and noticed that Bella Bachelor was now a young adult.  AWSOME!!!  When Tori went to the bathroom Wilde threw his clothes on and ran out the door.

Wilde: *sings* Ohh Bella! (Look at that smug bastard.)

Bella: Oh God; do I even want to turn around?

Wilde chatted Bella up for a short time then he smoothly suggested that he might give her the VIP tour of the theater.  Bella flat out ran to there.  I guess that was a yes.  I wonder if her mother has told her stories about Uncle Wilde…

Bella left the theater feeling like a new woman!

Oh, Mortimer, don’t even bother.  Wilde already popped that cherry.

Moritmer: What’s that smell? *sniffing*

Bella: What?  I swear I showered.

Mortimer: *sniffing* It smells like skank.

More babies!!!!

Looking around town I noticed that the school is so filled with Wilde’s children that the rest of his children can’t get in.

Then we were notified of Lisa (Bunch) McGraw’s sister becoming a young adult.  Wilde rubbed his hands together and giggled with glee!

Hmm, she reminds me of Pumba for some reason.

While Darlene and Wilde were touring the theater.  Zelda Mae cause a Sim freak-out by going into labor.

Zelda: Calm down.  I’ve got like 25 more at home, this one should just fall out.

Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab: No, your out fit is just disgusting!  Did you get dressed in dark closet?

She was right, it did fall out.

Lisa Bunch and Ayesha Ansari also gave Wilde three more children:

Victoria Andrews and Illiana Langerak also became elders.

He made his way to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s house.  She didn’t put out, her husband was home sleeping in the only double bed on the lot.  Jerk!

Kaylynn: No one likes a cry baby.  Until you can calm down you’re going to stay out here, mister!

Wilde: This town is full of kids.  Maybe it’s something in the water.

Probably the hot tub water…

So Wilde went home to the local dive bar and invited River Landgraab over.  They partied in a dirty hot tub like it was 1999!

Wilde: Yeah, there’s more where that came from.  I’ll see you in about four days.

Wilde became the father of three more children:

Wilde ushered River out the door and invited Bebe over.  She wasted no time showing Wilde her appreciation.

Bebe: Blub…blurb…

Wilde: I don’t know what you’re saying right now and I don’t care.

Then it was Sandi French’s turn (she just turned into a young adult).

Another son was born:

Wilde then spent a bunch of time with Lisa (Bunch) McGraw.

Wilde: So, see you again in four days?

Lisa: You betcha!

It was a busy night!  Next Zelda Mae came over.  I find it hard to look at her in this picture.  She is starting to look like Dwight Shrute to me.

And before the night was though Wilde became the father of yet another set ow twins:

Then having Childbirth ESP Wilde invited Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto over.  And he wore her out!

Bright and early Thursday morning Wilde blessed Ayesha Ansari with his baby juice.  O.o

Wilde: Could you go shut that kid up.  I’ll be in the bedroom.

Ayesha: I’ll put him outside with the others.

That morning Jamie (Jolina) Bunch gave him a daughter:

And Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor gave him twins:

After his work was done Wilde decided to try Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab again.  After all, her husband should be at work.  He made short work of seducing her.

Kaylynn: That was fast.

Wilde: Hey, I do what I do!

Then Wilde left her in front of the TV watching the Kids Channel and decide to use the bathroom.

Wilde: You sit tight, I feel some doodah knockin’.

Wilde went off to the bathroom to drop a D.

Not everyone appreciates Essence of Wilde, his son Tyler thought he was behaving rather rudely.

Then he decided to take a shower.  Kaylynn barged in and asked him to leave.  So, as a parting gift Wilde broke the shower.  No one asks Wilde to leave!

Wilde: You might want to have that checked.

Kaylynn: Ah migawd, you jes’,like, broke my shower! Ew, now I gotta call the repairman, and he is grrrr-rosss!

When you read Kaylynn’s dialogue think Shellsea from Fish Hooks (my daughter’s new favorite show).

Then Wilde had some Emma Hatch over at the theater.  Seriously, I would think twice about seeing a movie/concert there.  River Landgraab was also in there so in the wise words of those from Zombieland, Wilde decided to “tap twice.”

Emma: *thinking* That man is a work of art.  I hope I don’t get popcorn in my underpants again…

On his way home another child was born:

I am disappointed in Morgana, I was hoping for more twins or triplets. On his way home Wilde invited Morgana Wolff to join him.  Maybe this time we can get multiples again.

Wilde: I hope you’re not getting too comfortable.

Then I decided to have a look at Wilde’s family tree.  Uhhhhh…  What happened to Jereme Wolff? Somewhere between the hospital and the time Morgana spent with Wild she decided to change his name to Berjes???  Weird.

Friday morning Wilde was on his way over to Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor’s house when another child was born.

Then I noticed that Abdul was mysteriously renamed Cleveland.  So, I figured it was the new version of Twallan’s Story Progression Mod.  I exited the game and reinstalled Version 7.

Meanwhile Madison is being impaled by her window.

Wilde: Uh, Madison you have a window in your face.

Madison: Yeah, no big.  It’s no worse than childbirth.  You don’t feel it anymore after a while.

Wilde: Childbirth or the window?

Madison: Wait, what are we talking about again?  What does a window have to do with childbirth?

Whatever, Wilde did what he had to do anyway.  The man is a machine!

Wilde was all about making house calls on this fine Friday morning, Agnes Crumplebottom-Steel was next.  Oh his way there his CESP (Childbirth ESP) sense tingled telling him another woman was no longer pregnant.

It looks like Agnes may have a cold, something like that is bound to happen when you have that many kids.

Agnes: I doan wad to ged yoo sik.

Wilde: We don’t have to kiss.  Besides I have uber-antibodies, they seek and destroy.

Agnes: Uhkay.

And while Agnes and Wilde were doing the nasty in her husband’s bed Wilde became a father for the 104th time.

Jamie (Jolina) Bunch had been giving Wilde the cold shoulder since her last baby was born, Hillary Bunch (or as Wilde refers to her #98).  Wilde decided to drop by Jamie’s place unannounced.

Wilde: *thinking* Oh God, this place is crawling with them!

Sherri Jolina (holding baby): *thinking* Oh God, she’s going to have another one.

Jamie: *thinking* I hope he asks me to leave my husband/family for him.

And while Jamie and Wilde were headed off to the bedroom and the house filled with more of Wilde’s offspring another was given life:

After wowing Jamie Wilde drove over to the Bunch House.  I never noticed that Darlene is pigeon-toed!

As he was trying to seducing Darlene when Monika Morris gave birth to twins.

Darlene apparently wasn’t giving it up so Wilde ran next door to Monika Morris’ house.  He met Monika’s daughter Britney (not a child of Wilde’s).  Yup, your time will come little Brittney.

Uh oh, this doesn’t look good.

Brittney: What are you and my mom going to do?

Wilde: You might want to leave little girl.

Oh it’s terrible!  It’s TERRIBLE!!!  Another Sunset Valley child scarred for life!

Bed: *squeaking*

Brittney: I’m writing this all down so I can tell my psychologist about it.

At 1am Saturday morning another of Wilde’s spawn was born:

And another born at 4:30:

Wilde headed over to Pauline Wan’s house and decided to break her and Hank up for the 50-millionth time.

Hank: *gasp* Paul-leeeeen!

Pauline then asked Hank to leave.  It seems something came up.

Pauline: Hank, maybe you should go now.

Hank: Whatever, I’m going home.

And two more children scarred by Wilde and his antics, bringing the total to four.

Then Wilde was off to visit Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto.  And by this time (okay, before, LONG before) the strut became very irritating.

Wilde: Blair, I am here now.  You can undress.

And then another baby was born!

Blair: I don’t know Wilde.  I just had two babies and I am just so tired.

Wilde: Shh, shh, shhh…  I know….

Two more scarred and two more born.

Wilde decided to drop by the theater to see what was happening.  Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd, Justine Keaton and Tori Kimura all just happened to be there.  Wilde formed a group with the three ladies and they headed off to the theater, lucky them.

Wilde: *talking to himself* You are a stud.

Here’s a close up for your enjoyment.

While he and the ladies were enjoying themselves Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave Wilde twins:

And Wilde disbanded the group and invited Darlene to join him at home.  Darlene has a serious case of the uglies.

After having his way with her Wilde asked her to leave and promptly called her sister Lisa over.  Just when Lisa got there his CESP tingled.

Lisa was very excited and hoped right in the bed when she came over.

Lisa: I left the baby on the porch.  But it’s alright, it’s not gonna rain or nothing.

Wilde: Less talk, more doing.

Wilde: It’s time for you to leave.

Lisa: Are we done already?

And by the end of week Four 46 children were born bringing the total to 115.  And I know you all want to know what his family tree looks like.  Here you go:

And that’s it.  Thanks for reading!  Week Five may be a bit delayed my daughter’s birthday is April 4 and my in-laws are flying in so I will be one busy mommy.  I will try to play when I can so I have some pictures at the ready.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 14 Comments

Week Three

Hey, I promised an update that never happened.  Sorry, we’ve had some internet problems.  Oh how I LOVE not having my internet access…

Late Saturday night/early Sunday morning Victoria Andrews confided in Wilde that her husband (can’t remember his name) just wasn’t enough for her anymore.  An understanding Wilde was all too willing to listen to her pour her heart out.

It wasn’t long before Wilde had her in the hot tub of LOOOOVE!  There is nothing like taking advantage of a desperate and lonely woman; so eager to please…

Wilde:  WHOA, hey, whoa!  Oh, okay.

It was around this time that I started to notice I was running out of eligible females.  So I sent Wilde over to the neighbor’s house to get friendly with Claire Ursine’s daughter (can’t remember her name either).  By the time she turns into a young adult she is going to rawring to go!

Wilde: When you get older you’ll have to come over and see my hot tub.

Girl Ursine:  Really!  That sounds like so much fun!!!

Wilde:  Yeah, you’re going to love it.

Afterward Nancy came over and she and Wilde had some fun.  Around this time four children were born:

The next day (Monday) Wilde invited Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd over.  She left Wilde’s baby with her husband, Cyclone.  So I totally had her name wrong last update when I called her Jocasta Bachelor.  Oops!

Tom: *deep baritone* Do I have to wear the paper bag again?

Wilde: Yes sir…ma’am.

So, Tamara left Wilde’s baby at home with her husband, but she brought Cyclone’s son (can’t remember his name) with her.  This child is going to be messed up!  They did things in front of him; things no child should witness.

Cyclone’s Son: Peek a boo, Mommy!

Wilde and Tamara: Blub… bbblub…

Wilde had to kick Tamara and her son out so he wouldn’t be late for his date with Ayesha at the theater.  He gave her a workout and she left feeling pumped.

Ayesha: YEAH!  I feel like I could lift this building!

Wilde: I wouldn’t do something like that while in your “condition.”

Jamie Jolina gave Wilde another son:

And Molly French finished her last pregnancy:

Wilde decided since he was at the theater he may as well convince the other ladies to join him: Jamie Jolina, Paulin Wan, Claire Ursine and Holly Alto.

Wilde invited Bebe Hart came over for a hot tub visit.  She wasn’t willing to put out.  I don’t know what she was expecting when she came over.  Relaxation?  I think not!

Bebe: I just had twins.  I just came over to chill…

Wilde: Oh, well you can do your chilling elsewhere.  This is the love tub and I intend to keep it that way.

Then he stole her clothes.  That’s what she get’s for free-loading.  Come over and chill, indeed!

Bebe: My clothes are gone!

Wilde: Hmm.  I wonder how that happened.

Bebe: Do you have a towel?

Wilde: Funny, I just threw all the towels in the wash.  I might have a washcloth you can use.

Bebe decided to stay a while (maybe her clothes would should show up).  One thing lead to another and they ended up in the bedroom and Bebe decide to spend the night.

Bebe: Somehow it feels wrong to have clothes on in here.

Wilde: Then let me help you feel right.

The next morning (Tuesday) after Bebe left, Wilde headed to his favorite stomping ground: the theater.  He met Zelda Mae there, but when Dorie Hart went into labor he had to go with plan B.

Zelda” OMGOMGOMGOMG!  She’s having a BAAAABBBYYYY!!!

Wilde called Morgana Wolff and they toured the theater together and more, much more…

Wilde: *thinking* I think I just had another child.

He did.  Dorie Hart and Emma Hatch just had babies:

After Morgana and Wilde were finished Zelda had calmed down enough to continue with her date.

Zelda: Can I pet your hair first?

Wilde: Lady, no one touches the hair!  Follow me.

Zelda went home pregnant and Wilde decided to bless Agnes Crumplebottom with his child.  And even though Agnes is married to Christopher Steele she still fell for the Wilde charm.

Agnes: We have to hurry this up.  You must leave before my husband and son get home.

Wilde: No problem.  Quick is my specialty.

It took four tries, but I finally heard the lullaby.  Wilde then went home and invited Madison Von Watson and Dorie Hart over.

During that time two more children were born.  Jocasta Bachelor and Vita Alto gave Wilde their last children:

Wednesday morning he ran over to the Bunch House.  He nearly vomited on Judy’s feet when she answered the door, but held it together.  He made short work of seducing Lisa.

Lisa: I’m hungry for your love.

Wilde: You will be hungry no more.

While Wilde was “working” Nancy Landgraab had twins:

Lisa: I’m still hungry.

Wilde: Girl, I just gave you a baby, what more could you want?

Wilde and Lisa decided to go downstairs and have a snack (Wilde was trying to find an excuse to leave) when the doorbell rang.

Lisa: *thinking* Someone’s at the door.

Wilde: *thinking* Someone’s at the door.

Lisa went to welcome the visitor.  Who should it be but Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd!!!  Tamara’s “thing” for Wilde was starting to get out of hand.  She was becoming a stalker.

Lisa: Hello.

Tom: *deep baritone* Shut up.  Is he here?  Answer me dammit!

Wilde could see from the kitchen window and nearly dropped a brick.  He decided it was time for him to leave and went for the back door.

When he got outside he was shocked to find there was no way out of the gate!  He had to go back inside and wait behind the stairs until he could make his escape.

When Tom Tamara went into the dining area Wilde made his escape.

Wilde went straight to Illiana Langerak’s place.  He met her teenage daughter Kaylynn at the door as she was going to school.

Kaylynn: Later.

Wilde: No, you need to become a young adult first.  But I’ll be waiting.

Kaylynn: What?  Freak.

Inside Illiana jumped Wilde.

Wilde: Hey, nice to meet you too.

Illiana: Hurry, upstairs.  I can’t wait any longer.

It looks as though Wilde’s services are spreading among the women of the town.  Illiana and Wilde didn’t even have the decency to wait until her husband wasn’t around.

Dustin Langerak: Illiana NOOOOOOO! Don’t do this to our family.

Illiana: Oh, grow a pair, Dustin!

Wilde rocked her world like her husband wasn’t home.

Bed: *squeaking*

During Illiana’s adultery Victoria Andrews gave birth to a son:

Wilde then met Blair Wainright-Sekemoto at the theater.  Unfortunately Tom Tamara showed up.

Tom: *deep baritone* He’s mine!

Tom: *deep baritone* Hey everyone, I’m having Wilde’s baby.

Claire Ursine: Yeah, yeah, so am I.  Why don’t you make like a tree and leave.

After Wilde and Blair got down in the theater.  Wilde went to Emma Hatch’s place.  Before Wilde could get her into the sack Emma propositioned him.

Wilde gave her the whole this wild stallion needs to feel the wind in his hair speech.  Emma fell for it and they got it ON!

Vita Alto and Molly French both turned elder on Wednesday.

Bright and early Thursday morning Tom had a baby:

And he broke Lisa Bunch’s heart.

Lisa: I can’t believe this, the woohoo was so good.

Wilde: This wild stallions needs to feel the air…

With that nasty deed taken care of Wilde invited Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd to tour City Hall (He heard there was a roomy coat closet).  Victoria Andrews happened to be in there, he hit that too.

Wilde: Why’d you bring that with you?

Scanning the town I saw this strange mutation.  That is Holly Alto holding one of her siblings.  Look at that hair!  Maybe this child was born after Vita turned elder?  Is that possible?

Jamie Jolina had twins:

Wilde invited Jamie Jolina over (she’s always willing).  After she got there Wilde had his birthday.

Jamie was thrilled to be sleeping with an older man.

Jamie: Who had a good time in the hot tub with Wilde?  We did, didn’t we?

Meanwhile next door Madison Von Watson ran outside to vomit while Karrie Wan watched.

Madison: Huuuuuuuuurrrrrrlllllll.

Karrie: Maybe you should go home.

Other children that were born on Thursday which I forgot to mention:

Friday morning Wilde decided to kill two birds with one stone.  He invited both Bebe Hart and Ayesha Ansari to the theater.  The girls were ecstatic.

Wilde: Ladies, ladies.  There is enough for both of you.

Bebe had just had a daughter and was all too willing to get knocked up again.

Morgana Wolff gave Wilde triplets, TRIPLETS!!!

After he was done with the double showing he called Morgana and had her meet him at the theater.  We can’t afford to waste that uterus!  River Landgraab also joined them, she and Wilde had an awesome time.

Wilde: WOOOOO!

River: WOOOOO!

Claire Ursine became an elder and more children were born:

Also I thought I would show a screen capture of Wilde’s moodlets at 9pm Friday night.

When he got home that night he threw a twin party and invited all the pregnant ladies.  Agnes was there too.  She wasn’t pregnant when she arrived, but she was when she left.

Dorie Hart and Madison Van Watson went into labor during the party.  There was a lot of booing and cheering.

Obviously they had their babies:

Saturday and the final day of the week.  Pauline came over.

Wilde: ready to get down?

Four children were born:

Then he broke Emma Hatch’s heart.  He tried to let her down gently.

Wilde: You eat too much.  We’re over!

Wilde then went to City Hall and had his way with Kaylynn Langerak, Zelda Mae, Lisa Bunch, Holly Alto and Ayesha Ansari.

It was a busy day.

That’s it for week three.  Wilde had 36 children this week bringing his total to 69.

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 13 Comments

The Tour

Welcome back to the Wilde Oates blog.  We’re going to have a “Wilde” time (hahah).

I’ll start this blog off with a tour of the house.  I took these pictures before the last update and forgot to do the tour.  The house which is located between the Wan-Goddard and Ursine houses.  Here is the before picture.

(Picture courtesy of The Sims Wiki.)

I took some liberties with it and made it more modern.  Something more suitable to a Hotty McHotterson bachelor like Wilde.  The layout of the house is pretty much the same.  Here is the new house.

Notice Wilde has the fastest and most expensive car.  You never know when you have to get across town to hop in bed with another woman (or two, or three).
When the ladies enter the house the first thing they see is the door to the bathroom (YAY!), and the stereo which only has one channel: The Kids Channel.

Turning to their immediate right they will see the buffet table which is a permanent fixture, because bachelors don’t cook.  Seriously do you know what they eat?  My husband had a roommate that would eat toast with Cheez Whiz, ranch powder and green olives on it.  Grrrrrrroooooosssssss!!!!  I have been pregnant four times and I have never had a craving like that.

And then there is the kitchen and dining areas which are more for looks now that Wilde has the Moodlet Manager.

A view of the living room from the kitchen.

Down the hall next to the kitchen is the bedroom; this is where the magic happens.  😉  Notice the mirror behind the bed.

Outside on the back deck there is the famous hot tub.  The rock stereo out here also only has one channel: The Kids Channel.

Wilde also has an outdoor kitchen and dining area.  They never get used but they look good.

Here is a better view of the kitchen.

Here is a view of the deck from the dining table.

And now the picture you all have been waiting for: The bathroom.  You’ve seen it before (when Nancy Landgraab destroyed it), but you’ve never seeing it like this.

Drink it in ladies (and gentlemen).  Wilde doesn’t mind one bit, I assure you.

That’s it for the tour.  I’ll have week three up shortly, once my girls are napping.

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 7 Comments

About an Update

Yesterday I updated this blog and I did not receive a subscription email.  So this is an update about an update y’all!  If you didn’t get the email here is the link for Week Two.

Posted in Nonsense | 8 Comments

Week Two

Last time we started to get to know a Sim named Wilde Oates and his most important mission to populate Sunset Valley with all of his children.  BWAHAHAHA!  *cough* Moving on.

Wilde got home from the theater early Sunday morning and enjoyed a cool night breeze on his…man-berries er…umm…you know…

Wilde: Aaahhhh, refreshing.

A quick shower and a nap (a full eight hours) and he was rawring to go again.  He called the no longer pregnant Jamie Jolina.  Always willing to please Jamie came over in too little clothing and too much makeup.  Once they were finished and Wilde asked her go he phone another of his “regulars.”

Nancy Landgraab was all too willing to come over.  When Wilde met her at the door he asked her to go steady.    Of course this meant Nancy had to divorce her husband, but that wouldn’t be a problem, her husband and son weren’t speaking to her anyway. She spent that night with Wilde.

To celebrate, the next morning, Wilde decided to make a nice breakfast (no not fertilized eggs), waffles.  He went to the deck to let Nancy know they were ready and caught her peeing in the hot tub.

Nancy:  Uhhh uhhh…  You may not want to for in there for a while.  A-Actually, you might want to drain it.

Wilde: You pee’d in the hot tub?  Who does that?

Who does that indeed.  Some pretty dirty stuff has happened in that hot tub, but peeing in it is not one of them.

Nancy: Look, ah, could you move.  I really need to get to the toilet.

Wilde: You mean you’re not done yet?

Nancy ran to the bathroom and vomited all over the toilet.

Nancy: Ahhhh.  I feel much better now.

Wilde: Aww DANG!

Maid: I can’t believe this sh–.

Pee in the hot tub and now puke all over his throne!  That was it, Wilde couldn’t take it anymore.

Wilde: Girl, you are NASTY!  I know you just left your husband and everything, but I can not do this anymore. You have got to go.

Maid: AMEN!

Nancy: I’m so ashamed.  I thought I could just let go and be myself with you.

Wilde: No.  No.  Never do that.  No.

To console himself a brokenhearted Wilde invited Pauline Wan over.  She just had another set of twins and was ready for another donation.

That’s one smug looking fellow.  I certainly hope he cleaned that hot tub.

While Pauline and Wilde were stewing in pee soup Molly French made Wilde a father for the (insert number here) time.

After Pauline was sufficiently woohooed and Wilde told her to go home to her children he called Molly.  She came running over so fast she was panting when she reached the door.  The smooth operator that Wilde is he swept her off her feet and into the hot tub.  Where passion ensued.

At some point during their encounter one or both of the suggested they commit to each other, the other agreed.  But it seems they each have different definitions of the word “commit.”  Wilde of course thinks it means nothing at all and Molly thinks it means marriage.

Poor Wilde, he had no choice but to break Molly’s Wilde-Obsessed heart.

Molly: B-B-But Wilde, I love and you, and we have two children together.

Wilde: Yeah, yeah, I love you too, babe.  But The Wilde Stallion needs to run free.  He can’t be tamed.  He needs to feel other womens hands in his hair THE WIND!  He needs to feel the wind in his hair.

Molly: Buhbuhbuhbuh…BUHBUHBUHBUH…

Wilde: What?  Look your face is getting red and puffy.  Maybe you should go home and calm down a bit.  Take a few days, maybe say three and we can woohoo talk again.

Molly: Buhbuhbuhbuh…BUHBUHBUHBUH…

Wilde: Yeah, I know.  You know where the door is.  I gotta be somewhere.

And after dismissing her Wilde took the next three hours to primp in the bathroom before heading to bed for the night.  Beauty sleep, even Wilde needs it.

That night:

Early the next morning Wilde went to the theater to have himself some females fun.

He, Emma Hatch, Dorie Hart and Bebe Hart entered the theater as a fab four and left as more!  At least one of the ladies left pregnant.

Wilde continued to loiter around the theater until he was able to sneak in and have his way with Jamie Jolina, Fiona McIrish and Ayesha Ansari.

Jamie had just given birth to another child: Karl Jolina (I forgot to grab a screenshot).

While the ladies and Wilde were getting down Wilde was blessed with more children.

Outside the theater Wilde asked Jamie Jolina to “be with him” silly girl thought he wanted her to move in.  Wilde the commitment-phobe that he is dashed her hopes and broke her heart.

Jamie: *whispers* But what about our children?

But it was too late, Wilde was already in his car on his way home.

The next day two more children were born:

And on this day Wilde tried to woohoo Judy Bunch and failed.  While he was there she turned elder!  No pictures, I was afraid the ugly would break my camera. (okay, I failed to get pictures the entire Wednesday.)  Wilde WASTED an entire day trying to get into Judy’s pants.  Disappointment.  After a quick stop in and out of the theater and Zelda Mae, Wilde went home.  But that night he invited Nancy over for a “nightcap” and rocked her world.  He kept her out of the hot tub though.

On Thursday Claire Ursine fell to Wilde’s advances.  There may have been more, but I forgot to write them down.  I hadn’t yet had a working system to keep track of who had been woohooed, who was pregnant and when babies were born.

There was only one baby born on Thursday:

All of these singletons are being born.  I think I should probably have another twins party.

On Friday Wilde decided to kill some time in the local park.  Usually he stays away from the park with it being filled with children and all.  But he figured a school day during school hours would be alright.

Blair Wainright was not having anything to do with Wilde.  She must know he’s a playboy some how…  Quick look!  That pregnant woman in the background, That’s Ayesha Ansari and this picture was clearly taken before she had Elbert.  Oops!  That old woman in the foreground is suffering from a case of The Duck Lips (previously mentioned in the Food Family Legacy).

Wilde:  You are HAWT!  I hope you don’t mind my saying that you and I would make beautiful babies.  Why don’t you and I-

Blair: So not happening.

Wilde: Huh.  So that’s what rejection feels like.

Not long after Blair turned into an elder.  I’ll bet Wilde wouldn’t give her the time of day now.  After being rejected Wilde turned around to survey his options and who should he see?  Lourdes Benavidez.

Wilde: Do your feet hurt?  Because you have been running through my mind all day.

Lourdes: OMG!  That must be why my heart is racing.  I was thinking I needed to see a doctor or something.

Wilde: You are.  Dr. Love, at your service.

He then took her back to his place for a personal and private examination.

Later that day Wilde invited Molly French over.  She practically broke her ankle running over to his place.

Behold the power of multiples:

Fiona also gave birth:

On Saturday Wilde had a double date with Emma Hatch and Vita “The Dragon” Alto; they went to the theater.

Molly French was a little upset to see Wilde talking to Vita.  Wilde could care less.

Meanwhile Nancy Landgraab  and Zelda Mae were busy:

Zelda gave birth to twins named Arturo and Sharla Mae.

Wilde left the theater with Jocasta Bachelor.  Is it just me or is Jocasta a really ugly man woman?

Joe: *deep baritone* You don’t need to turn the light out.

Wilde: Yes, yes I do.

That’s it for the second week.  At the end of week two Wilde had a grand total of 33 children.  I’ll try to get a page with a list of names.

As always thanks for reading and happy simming!

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 16 Comments