Week Five

12:02 am Sunday morning: Lisa (Bunch) McGraw is on her way out the door and Wilde is calling Zelda Mae over for some fun.

Zelda came right over.  That’s not the football hold!

Zelda: I am so tired…why does my arm feel heavy?

After Wilde was finished with Zelda and a little time on the treadmill he drove over to Bebe Hart’s apartment.

Bebe: So…the bedroom?

Wilde: Yeah, that sounds good.

They thought they left the children to their own devices in the living room.

Brook: But Mom I’m hungry and you promised I could have ice cream with Elias!

Elias: Nomnomnom

Bebe: *entering bedroom* Shut up, mommy needs 15 mminutes.

Wilde: Uhh, three minutes.

But unfortunately Mandy Hart followed them, making her the seventh child Wilde has scarred for life!

And then at 10:00 am Ayesha Ansari gave Wilde twins.

When they were finished Wilde grabbed his phone and called Sandi French.

Wilde: …yeah, can you meet me at my place?

Bebe: O-M-G!  Are you call another woman?

Wilde: Nah, it’s the repairman.

Bebe: O-M-G!  I totally thought you were calling another girl!

Wilde: You don’t say.

Bebe: O-M-G!  Mom was totally right when she said my face would get stuck like this!

I tried four times, but I never heard a lullaby.  My children were being loud at the time though so we will see if she is with child.

When Wilde got home he and Sandi had a great time in the bedroom.

Wilde: Ahhhh, was it good for you?

Sandi: Errr….yeah….

And at 1:19 pm Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab gave Wilde another set of twins.

Wilde made his way over to the freshly unpregnant Ayesha Ansari’s house and knocked her up again.  Really these women just can’t tell Wilde no.

Wilde got dressed and without showering ran over to Kaylynn’s because literally every young adult and adult female in this town is pregnant!!!!  Before he got to her place I took a quick picture of the most populated area of the town. This was taken on Sunday at 4:17 pm.  Notice all of the blue or cyan colored icons?  Those are all of Wilde’s children.

Kaylynn and Wilde left the children crying in the other room and had a little Mommy/Daddy Time together.

One of them forgot to close the door and a little one got in.  Scarred for life total: 8.

Tyler: Momma?

After porking Kaylynn until she squealed; Wilde left for home where he met River (McIrish) Landgraab. She was very excited to be in Wilde’s company.

River: Oh, I hope I get pregnant again!  I just love having your children and raising them all on my own!!!

Wilde: Ain’t no thang, baby.  Let’s go to the bedroom.

After the long day Wilde had River was harder to please than expected.  She exhausted Wilde and he clearly needed to shower.

Wilde: Zzzzz…

River: Zzzzz…

Then Wilde’s Childbirth Sense tingled.  He quickly got up and moodlet managed his way to a happy place and ran out the door like a super hero.  Watch out women of Sunset Valley here comes…IMPREGNATOR MAN!  He’s cumming to save the day!  He needs a cape that can double as a blanket.

Wilde: River, I must go.  Simwhere, simone has had a child…

River: Zzzz…

But before he could get to the Wolff residence Wilde stopped by the theater for a quickie with Bella.

Wilde: Right this way, Bella, it will only take but a moment.

After leaving Bella at the theater to clean up.  Wilde made his way to the Wolff House.  Where he had a bit of woo practice before ringing the doorbell.

Maybe Morganna makes him nervous.  He was clearly alone when this picture was taken.

Wilde finally pulled it together and got on with the show.  Looks like Morgana is trying to start a new fashion movement: Sweats and Heals.

Morgana: Awww, I love our children.

Wilde: Let’s go inside where there aren’t any.

They went into the master bedroom where lo and behold Morgana’s husband was sleeping.

Wilde: WHAT!  I thought you said he wasn’t home.

Morgana: He wasn’t until just a few moments ago.

Wilde: *thinking* I guess I shouldn’t have stopped for that quickie on the way over.

So, Wilde, ready to handle any situation, zapped Thorton with the moodlet manager.

Wilde: Now we can get down to business.

But before any “business” could happen Morgana jumped out of the bed and told Wilde it was late and he should go.  Arrrrrgh!

So Wilde zoomed off to the cemetery where Holly Alto was hanging out.  (By this time it was about 5:00 am Monday morning.)  To get there Wilde had to drive passed Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd’s house which means…

Tamara followed Wilde to the cemetery, random children in tow.  She brought three of Emma’s Hatch’s children with her.

Holly: Who is that man over there?

Wilde: Just an admirer

Tom: *deep baritone* Wilde…  Wilde…  Hi, Wilde, remember me?

Reagan Hatch: I’m hungry, can we go now?

Tom *deep baritone* Silence spawn! Is he looking over here?  Tell me if he looks.

Wilde and Holly decided to take things to a more private location: his home.  Tamara also decided it was time to leave.  Her stalker way are completely obvious to everyone!  She was in such a hurry that she apparently left the Hatch children behind.  Reminder to all: Never let Tamara Donnor babysit your children.

Holly: I think you should think about getting yourself a restraining order.

Wilde: Why?  Is her elder birthday coming?

Once Holly and Wilde were back at his place she asked Wilde the dreaded question:

Holly: Do you have protection?

Wilde: *died a little inside*

Wilde scrambled to think of a way out of using protection.  How was he going to knock her up now?  What do they need protection for?  She already had three of his kids!  They spent a little time in the hot tub, but it broke before they could get anywhere.

Wilde: Argh!  I can’t believe this!

I sent them to the bedroom, but for some reason Wilde would not get into the bed with her.  The man just does not want to use a condom!

Meanwhile, at 9:15 Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor gave Wilde another son:

I also decided that since school was in I should grab a shot of what it looks like in the town view.  I don’t know how many there are, I can’t count that high…

I decided it was time to send Wilde and Holly off to the theater.  Maybe I would get lucky and there would be a few other non-pregnant women hanging around there.

The cinema worked, like it always does.  And as an added bonus Wilde only pretended to use protection.  Holly left the cinema with a bun in the oven.  While he was out he decided to invite some other ladies to join him.  Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor, Agnes Crumplebottom-Steel and Bebe Hart all said yes.  Morgana was apparently in the dog house with her husband because she said she couldn’t make it.  Agnes ended up standing Wilde up, River (McIrish) Landgraab took her place.

River: Hi Madison, hi Wilde, hi Bebe.

Wilde: I don’t know why your brought your kid here, Madison.  Keep him quiet.

Jamie (Jolia) Bachelor had another son:

And I guess we know why Agnes stood up The Wilde Stallion:

Then it was off to Anges Crumplebottom-Steel’s house where drama ensued!  Agnes and Wilde were in the middle of this when Christopher came home.

Needless to say this is how Christopher felt about the whole thing.

And while Christopher watched Wilde asked Agnes if he could stay over and then asked her to break up with her husband.  She readily agreed to everything, she was putty in Wilde’s manipulative hands.

Just before closing the deal at 11:43 pm Monika Morris gave Wilde a set of twin girls:

Wilde asked Agnes to be his girl.

Wilde: Now that you’re single will you be my girl?

Agnes: Yes, yes, of course!  Anything for you Wilde?

Then Agnes and Wilde when upstairs to seal the deal.

Christopher: *grumbles*

Wilde: Yes, this is exactly what you think it is.

And while Agnes and Wilde were getting in on Christopher had to hear every. single. sound.

Agnes: Okay, I’ll be the milkmaid and you’ll be…

Christopher: Is this really happening?

Poor Christopher I kind of feel bad for him.

Then Wilde got out of the bed and decided to confide in Agnes.

Wilde: I think we need to cool this off a little.  You just got out of a relationship.

Agnes: But I left Christopher for you!

Wilde: How do I know you’re not rebounding.  I don’t want to wake up one day and find that you’re not happy.  I’m doing this for you, Agnes, don’t you want be happy?

Agnes: Oh, yes.  You’re right.  Let’s give it few days.

Christopher: Agnes you are SO STUPID!!!

Feeling good about breaking up another home, Wilde left.  Or tried to…

Tuesday Wilde invited the loud and excitable Jamie (Jolina) Bunch over.

Wilde: Let’s do this, I need to be somewhere.

That’s right, Wilde’s CESP tingled.

Jamie was all too willing to jump right into bed.

Jamie: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!  I JUST HAD A BABY AND YET HERE I AM!  TAMARA DONNOR-SW0RD AND I WERE GOING TO GO SHOPPING, BUT I TOLD HER I HAD SOMETHING BETTER TO DO…

Wilde: *thinking* Oh please make her shut up.

While they were doing the wild thing another baby was born:

And before Jamie could open her mouth Wilde was out the door and on his way to Bebe Hart’s place.  Where he and Bebe made it in the elevator.  (Sorry for the bad pic my four year-old was on my lap.)  Notice the baby on the floor, these women will drop anything to be at Wilde’s beck and call.

Bebe: *giggling* Come here often?

Wilde: *missing the point* About every three to four days.

Then I caught this happening over by City Hall.  That is Christopher Steel trying to mack on Monica Morris.

Deciding that I needed to make Christopher’s life worthless I sent Wilde over to interrupt. Monika could do with another donation and Christopher hasn’t been driven close enough to the edge just yet.  Before Wilde could get there (damn that strut) Christopher changed for work and dashed off to the diner. Oh well, Monika still followed Wilde into City Hall like an obedient puppy.

While all of that was going on more children were born:

Then who should Wilde see on his way out of City Hall, but Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto!  Needless to say they busied themselves in the men’s room.

Tammie:  WAAAAA!

Wilde: Let’s take this inside where it’s quiet and smells of toilet cleaner.

And then when Wilde and Blair were done River (McIrish) Landgraab was waiting outside.  Blair and River bumped fists and Wilde and River went inside together.  That’s what I call a tag team!

Derrick Jolina, Wilde’s eldest child became a young adult.

His traits are: Neurotic, Party Animal, Perfectionist, Green Thumb and Artistic.  If anyone is interested I can put him up for download.

Then Wilde and Pauline Wan had some QT together and another child was born:

Looks like Darlene Bunch aka Pumba is dating Derrick Jolina now.  Like that is going to stop Wilde in anyway.

Derrick: I know you and my dad have this thing, but I don’t mind sloppy seconds.

Pumba: Oh Derrick, I would love to be your one and only!  And you can be my one and only once I reach elder!  I’m so glad you don’t mind helping me raise your siblings!

And at 11:44 pm Tuesday, Agnes became an elder an useless.  Good thing Wilde broke that off when he did.

Like she can stop working anytime soon, she has seven children, six of which Wilde fathered!

I sent Wilde over Emma Hatch’s place, she was due for another pregnancy.  While there as a bonus Wilde also broke up her relationship with Mortimer Goth!  *sigh*  The men of the town are really starting to hate Wilde.

Mortimer: *looking at Tamara*  There’s something funny about that lady…

Wilde: Whadya say we sneak off to the bedroom and mess up the bed?

Emma: Oh yes, yes please…

Mortimer: EMMA HATCH YOU HUSSY!!!!

And then as I was focused on getting Wilde to the bed I completely missed Mortimer slapping Emma!  GAAAAH!

Look at that, you know Mortimer is fighting the urge to look over to see Emma and Wilde together.

Satisfied that Wilde ended yet another almost happy relationship I sent him home to the treadmill.

While he was working out another baby was born.

7:00 am Wednesday morning I sent Wilde over to the McGraw house and had his way with Stiles’ wife, Lisa.

Bed: *banging and squeaking*

Baby: WAAAAAAAAA!

Stiles: Daggon kids, makin’ so much racket they woke the baby.  DON’ MAKE ME GIT MAH BELT!!!

From there Wilde drove over to Justine Keaton’s place.  During the drive Sandi gave birth to twin girls:

As an added bonus when Wilde arrived at the Keaton house her husband was still home.

Marty: I just don’t know how we keep having children, Justine.  I thought we were being careful.

Unfortunately, as soon as Wilde got there Marty changed for work and left.

Marty: Okay, I’m off to work.  Wilde oyu can help Justine with the children?

Wilde: Yeah, I can help Justine get with child with the children.

As soon as Marty left Justine and Wilde disappeared to the bedroom leaving the children to sit in their filthy diapers.

Reisa: Change me, I’m stinky!

Johanna: Uhhh, I need a bath.  I had a blowout!

Reisa: Someone wipe my butt!

Johanna: I’m starting to get a rash!

But Wilde and Justine were far to involved to care.

While they were procreating two more children were given life:

By the time Wilde and Justine were finished Marty was home.  Wilde dressed quickly and snuck out the back.

Wilde: Pfft…  Superman needs a telephone booth, not I, IMPREGNATOR MAN!

Judy Bunch died and Darlene wasn’t taking it so well.  So Wilde being the nice guy that he is invited Darlene to meet him at the theater.

Pumba: *a lot of snorting* Bububububu snnnnnNNNNNOOOORRRTTTT!

Wilde: Come Pumba, I will help you forget your mother’s demise.

And Darlene and Wilde went into the theater.  I was called away from the computer because my nearly two year old daughter spilled an entire bag of pretzels on the floor.  I forgot to pause the game, when I came back Wilde and Darlene were finished with the tour.  Grrr…

I saw that there was a pop up about Yusun Ursine becoming a young adult.  Finally!  So I had Wilde leave Darlene crying in front of the theater and drive over to the Ursine house.

Yusun was apparently expecting Wilde. She was dressed in her formal and had her hair and makeup done.  And the best part…she was home alone!

Yusun: Wilde, I have been waiting for you.

Wilde: Not as long as I have been waiting for you, Yusun.

Yusun: Follow me.

Wilde: *thinking* That was easy.

But it wasn’t, she only led him to the living room.  Wilde tried cracking jokes, but they didn’t go over very well.  Yusun wants to be woo’d.

Wilde: How about you let me dust those cobwebs for you.

Then her mother came home and they had to sneak out the back door.  Looks like Wilde is bringing this party home.

Yusun: Shhh…  She still thinks I’m a teenager.

Back at Wilde’s place things really started to heat up.

Yusun: Something about being in your house makes me feel like I should remove my clothes.

Wilde: Do what feels right. If it feels right to be naked, then be naked.

Wilde and Yusun made their way to the hot tub.  That’s where Wilde made his move.

Then somehow they were in the hot tub.

And soon Yusun was in over her head.

The next morning Yusun learned a very valuable lesson.  A lesson about wild stallions.

Yusun: Are you kidding me?

Wilde: Look, I’ve got somewhere to be.  You can show yourself out.

During the night he spent with Yusun, Bella gave birth to a baby girl:

Once Yusun got the boot Wilde made his way over to the Donnor-Sw0rd residence.

Tom: *raspy whisper* Kiss me, Wilde.

Wilde: *wipes away silent tears*

Cyclone came home to find his wife in bed with his friend.

Cyclone: Not cool, guys.  Not cool.

During Wilde and Tamara’s sexcapades Holly Alto gave birth to TRIPLETS!  I forgot to get a screenshot.

Then Wilde ran over to Bella Bachelor’s house.  but before they could get busy, I had to edit Bella in CAS.  Something about The Sims 3 version of Bella — I hate her.  So after a quick makeover Bella was ready to get it on!

*sigh* she looks much better now.

Another child was born:

Wilde had to truck it over to Justine Keaton’s house. One of his children was having a birthday.  And as luck would have it Morgana was there too!!!  Thinking they were alone in the hall Wilde suggested they sneak off to the bedroom for a little Woohoo.

Beau Andrews: WOMAN!  What is wrong with you!

Beau’s Hand: *smack, crack, slap*

Morgana: * whimpering* Must. Join. Wilde.

And as soon as Beau was finished slapping her she did join Wilde in the bedroom.  After they were finished.  Wilde and Morgana were kick out for being inappropriate.

The next morning (Friday) Wilde seduced Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor and Jamie (Jolina) Bunch gave birth to a girl.

Here’s a view of the chaos at Madison’s house.

On Wilde’s way over to Jamie (Jolina) Bunch’s house a set of twins was born to Bebe Hart:

Outside Jamie’s house was her newest daughter, sunbathing by the mailbox.  And as Wilde waited for Jamie to come to the door I could hear screaming.

Once Wilde was inside…

Manu had picked up Sadie from the cold sidewalk and brought her into the bathroom.  Thankfully he didn’t pee in her.

Manu: Keep it together, Manu.  The toilet is RIGHT THERE!

Jamie: Where it that daughter of mine?  She needs to take care of these kids!

Wilde and Jamie went into the bedroom to take care of some business.  Felipe Bunch followed them into the bedroom.  Bringing the total of children scarred for life to nine.

Wilde was on his way to a party at Pauline Wan’s place when River (McIrish) Langraab gave him twins and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto had a boy:

Wilde arrived at the party and Pauline was in labor!

Instead of being a good guy and taking Pauline to the hospital, Wilde seduced Bebe Hart.

Widle: Oh, hey, Pauline.  We’ll just be a minute.

And since Pauline had given birth during the party, Wilde decided to hit that before leaving too.

Wilde: It’s probably a good idea to wash these sheets today.

Before Wilde went home Emma Hatch gave him another daughter:

And his son Brendon Wan experimented with pooping in the upright position.  He made a mess of the toilet.

Brendon: I can pee standing, I should be able to poop standing too.

Toilet: Oh no.  No.  NOOOOOOOOO!

Saturday morning Wilde spent some time in Ayesha Ansari’s bed.

And at 10:49 am another baby was born:

And when Wilde went to Tori (Kimura) Frio’s house, what I saw shocked me.  What is wrong with this picture?

No, no.  Have a good look.  Do you see it?

EXACTLY!!!  There are no criers!  The kids here are HAPPY!  No screaming about being tired or hungry or having dirty diapers.  Tori, it seems is June Cleaver!  In the kitchen she even had breakfast started!!!  Shocking, simply shocking!

After a workout in the bedroom Wilde switched the TV to the Kids Channel before leaving.

He spent the rest of his day soliciting services at the theater.  He met a number of women there including this woman who just happened to get jumbled up into the mix.  She didn’t mind though, look at how happy she is.

Three more children were born before the end of Week Five:

At the end of Week Five 41 children were born bringing the total to 157 children.  And I forgot to mention Zelda Mae turned elder and married Gunther Goth.

There are so many children now that they have started causing pathing issues.  Not to mention that they could be sleeping the the only double bed on the lot.  It’s getting harder to keep the women knocked up.

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About skehrer

I am a happily married mother of two sweet little girls. The Sims is my not so secret addiction.
This entry was posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3. Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Week Five

  1. Pingback: Wilde Oates: Week Five | SKehrer's Sim Stuff

  2. justdance983 says:

    LOL, that was a great chapter 🙂
    I can’t believe Wilde has so many children! wow.
    could you please put Derrik up? 🙂
    if you have woohooer mod, you can set near relation romance on… in case you run out of ladies in town 0.0

  3. Rad says:

    This is AMAZING. I can’t believe Wilde isn’t an elder yet, nor that your town hasn’t turned into a BBFVFS. I laughed heartily at all the townie men in their overalls. No wonder they can’t get any.

  4. skehrer says:

    LOL! The town is sure to self destruct soon. To be honest I am surprised that I have been able to play it this long. So far all of his children are living.
    It is getting much harder to find unrelated women. I think Wilde is about 4-5 days away from becoming an elder. If I were a smarter player I would have chosen vegetarian instead of schmoozer so he would live longer.

  5. You’ve inspired me. Stand by for a link.

  6. Kate and Justus says:

    You’re a hoot! I never thought so much misogyny could be so damn funny. 😀

  7. Sam says:

    OMG Derrick is a hottie!

  8. Dannielle says:

    Funniest chapter ever!!! I’d like to see a screenshot of the in-game family tree!!!

    • skehrer says:

      I be sure to post another one with the next update. I’m half way through the next week with him. I hope to have it up within the next day or two.

  9. DJBoobot says:

    HAHAHAHA! LOL! I was laughing SOoooo Hard through the whole thing with all those husbands! RUIN CHRISTOPHER STEELE’S LIFE! Lol! Keep going!!!

  10. spongeb0berz says:

    What setting on MC lets u see th different colored bubbles? (ex. the cyan ones)

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