Week four started as it always does on Sunday morning. And with the birth of four more of Wilde’s children:
That morning Wilde invited Emma Hatch over for some morning lovin’. (I failed to grab a picture. Then off to the theater to have a double feature with Holly Alto and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto. Of course, Tamara Donno-Sw0rd followed him there so that double feature became a triple!
Wilde didn’t go home on Sunday night, instead he stayed over Victoria Andrews’. Look at all those children on the floor; the woman doesn’t even have the decency to buy them beds!
Wilde and Mrs. Anderson did anything but sleep that night.
During the night Wilde became the father of another child:
The next morning (Monday) after leaving Victoria’s place Wilde invited Jamie (Jolina) Bunch over to his place. She apparently got over the fact that Wilde wasn’t going to marry her and settled for the first thing that would, one of the Bunch Clan.
Babies were crying, women went into labor, women were angry with Wilde. It was a hot mess! It took forever, but eventually Wilde was able to coax the ladies into the theater (as the sun was setting). Then Wilde went home and slept like a baby (unlike his cribless children).
Babies born on Monday:
Agnes Crumplebottom-Steel met Wilde at the theater nude!
Agnes: You joining me, big boy?
Wilde: Whoa, Agnes. You should only do that in a dark room. You’ve had a few children and things don’t look like they used to…
Wilde, he’s in touch with his sensitive side.
Then Wilde drove over to Tori Kimura’s place because she as “too busy” to meet him. When Wilde got there he was the one keeping her busy.
Bella: Oh God; do I even want to turn around?
Wilde chatted Bella up for a short time then he smoothly suggested that he might give her the VIP tour of the theater. Bella flat out ran to there. I guess that was a yes. I wonder if her mother has told her stories about Uncle Wilde…
Bella left the theater feeling like a new woman!
Oh, Mortimer, don’t even bother. Wilde already popped that cherry.
Moritmer: What’s that smell? *sniffing*
Bella: What? I swear I showered.
Mortimer: *sniffing* It smells like skank.
Looking around town I noticed that the school is so filled with Wilde’s children that the rest of his children can’t get in.
Then we were notified of Lisa (Bunch) McGraw’s sister becoming a young adult. Wilde rubbed his hands together and giggled with glee!
Hmm, she reminds me of Pumba for some reason.
Zelda: Calm down. I’ve got like 25 more at home, this one should just fall out.
Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab: No, your out fit is just disgusting! Did you get dressed in dark closet?
She was right, it did fall out.
Lisa Bunch and Ayesha Ansari also gave Wilde three more children:
Victoria Andrews and Illiana Langerak also became elders.
He made his way to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s house. She didn’t put out, her husband was home sleeping in the only double bed on the lot. Jerk!
Kaylynn: No one likes a cry baby. Until you can calm down you’re going to stay out here, mister!
Wilde: This town is full of kids. Maybe it’s something in the water.
Probably the hot tub water…
So Wilde went home to the local dive bar and invited River Landgraab over. They partied in a dirty hot tub like it was 1999!
Wilde became the father of three more children:
Wilde ushered River out the door and invited Bebe over. She wasted no time showing Wilde her appreciation.
Wilde: I don’t know what you’re saying right now and I don’t care.
Then it was Sandi French’s turn (she just turned into a young adult).
Another son was born:
Wilde then spent a bunch of time with Lisa (Bunch) McGraw.
Lisa: You betcha!
It was a busy night! Next Zelda Mae came over. I find it hard to look at her in this picture. She is starting to look like Dwight Shrute to me.
And before the night was though Wilde became the father of yet another set ow twins:
Ayesha: I’ll put him outside with the others.
That morning Jamie (Jolina) Bunch gave him a daughter:
And Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor gave him twins:
After his work was done Wilde decided to try Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab again. After all, her husband should be at work. He made short work of seducing her.
Wilde: Hey, I do what I do!
Then Wilde left her in front of the TV watching the Kids Channel and decide to use the bathroom.
Wilde: You sit tight, I feel some doodah knockin’.
Wilde went off to the bathroom to drop a D.
Not everyone appreciates Essence of Wilde, his son Tyler thought he was behaving rather rudely.
Wilde: You might want to have that checked.
Kaylynn: Ah migawd, you jes’,like, broke my shower! Ew, now I gotta call the repairman, and he is grrrr-rosss!
When you read Kaylynn’s dialogue think Shellsea from Fish Hooks (my daughter’s new favorite show).
Then Wilde had some Emma Hatch over at the theater. Seriously, I would think twice about seeing a movie/concert there. River Landgraab was also in there so in the wise words of those from Zombieland, Wilde decided to “tap twice.”
On his way home another child was born:
Then I decided to have a look at Wilde’s family tree. Uhhhhh… What happened to Jereme Wolff? Somewhere between the hospital and the time Morgana spent with Wild she decided to change his name to Berjes??? Weird.
Then I noticed that Abdul was mysteriously renamed Cleveland. So, I figured it was the new version of Twallan’s Story Progression Mod. I exited the game and reinstalled Version 7.
Meanwhile Madison is being impaled by her window.
Madison: Yeah, no big. It’s no worse than childbirth. You don’t feel it anymore after a while.
Wilde: Childbirth or the window?
Madison: Wait, what are we talking about again? What does a window have to do with childbirth?
Whatever, Wilde did what he had to do anyway. The man is a machine!
Wilde was all about making house calls on this fine Friday morning, Agnes Crumplebottom-Steel was next. Oh his way there his CESP (Childbirth ESP) sense tingled telling him another woman was no longer pregnant.
It looks like Agnes may have a cold, something like that is bound to happen when you have that many kids.
Wilde: We don’t have to kiss. Besides I have uber-antibodies, they seek and destroy.
And while Agnes and Wilde were doing the nasty in her husband’s bed Wilde became a father for the 104th time.
Jamie (Jolina) Bunch had been giving Wilde the cold shoulder since her last baby was born, Hillary Bunch (or as Wilde refers to her #98). Wilde decided to drop by Jamie’s place unannounced.
Sherri Jolina (holding baby): *thinking* Oh God, she’s going to have another one.
Jamie: *thinking* I hope he asks me to leave my husband/family for him.
And while Jamie and Wilde were headed off to the bedroom and the house filled with more of Wilde’s offspring another was given life:
Wilde: You might want to leave little girl.
Oh it’s terrible! It’s TERRIBLE!!! Another Sunset Valley child scarred for life!
Brittney: I’m writing this all down so I can tell my psychologist about it.
At 1am Saturday morning another of Wilde’s spawn was born:
Pauline then asked Hank to leave. It seems something came up.
Hank: Whatever, I’m going home.
And two more children scarred by Wilde and his antics, bringing the total to four.
And then another baby was born!
Wilde: Shh, shh, shhh… I know….
Wilde decided to drop by the theater to see what was happening. Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd, Justine Keaton and Tori Kimura all just happened to be there. Wilde formed a group with the three ladies and they headed off to the theater, lucky them.
Here’s a close up for your enjoyment.
Wilde: Less talk, more doing.
Wilde: It’s time for you to leave.
Lisa: Are we done already?
And by the end of week Four 46 children were born bringing the total to 115. And I know you all want to know what his family tree looks like. Here you go:
And that’s it. Thanks for reading! Week Five may be a bit delayed my daughter’s birthday is April 4 and my in-laws are flying in so I will be one busy mommy. I will try to play when I can so I have some pictures at the ready.