Before I get started a note. I have started using Windows Live Writer for my posts because I was having formatting issues with WordPress. If you see any issues please let me know, this is my first post with Live Writer.
I keep getting notices about married couples that want to move in together but can’t because they can’t find a house to move into. So, the first thing I did in Week Eight was to plop more houses around town and bless a few families with a little ‘Government Money.’ Hopefully that will appease the whiners for a while. As soon as Wilde was finished with his run on the treadmill I sent him to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s house. She was the only woman in town not pregnant. That is, the only woman with a working reproductive system and not a child of Wilde’s. Wilde must have eaten his Total Cereal that morning because they got it on like he wasn’t scared of breaking a hip!
Wilde: Oh I hope you didn’t just fart in here.
Kaylynn: *blushes* It must have been the bed.
I know I said I wasn’t going to have anymore twin parties, but with all the women pregnant there is nothing better to do!
Wilde: Party time!
Brittney Morris: Is this a baby shower?
Yusun Ursine: Why is the Kid’s channel on? I have to watch this crap at home!
Then as Wilde was surrounded by women with large bellies his Childbirth ESP tingled.
Wilde: Oooo, someone will be having a baby today. Could it be you, Brittney?
River: Why her? I’m two weeks passed my due date!
I’ve been there, River! So not fun!
For some reason in this picture elder Wilde reminds me of Bill Nighy’s character (Billy Mack) in Love Actually. If Wilde could serenade a woman by playing the guitar naked he would!
Bella: OML (Oh my llama), Wilde you look amazing.
Wilde: I know.
*Sigh* Billy Mack, I love you.
Yusun is making sure there is no inappropriate touching going on.
Yusun: *Glares at Bella*
Holly: Get over it, Yusun. Wilde is the town doorknob!
Then River went into labor! Yay, another baby!
River: Either I’m in labor or I’m having the worst diarrhea cramps I’ve ever had!
Wilde: Did you eat the turkey? It’s been out for a while…
Then all at once everyone freaked out!
Sandi: If it’s diarrhea you better get to the bathroom!
Wilde: No, not my throne! Do not soil my throne!
Lisa: My husband just died. WAAA!
Bebe: If you’re in labor you should go to the hospital!
Derrick: Awe man, I wanted some of that turkey!
Yusun popped in her crazy eyes and decided to play some birthing music. Um, no! put that thing away. The Kids channel is playing for a reason!
Bella: I’m not eating that turkey; I’ll have a cookie instead.
And then everyone decided to just ignore the screaming pregnant woman.
River: AHHHH! I’M GOING HOME NOW!
And she did. River calmly walked out the door, got in her car and went home. Everyone else also decided to leave. The party was “awesome verging on epic” because I can’t get a higher rated party!
Not long after she left River had her baby:
I normally don’t direct Derrick. He’s pretty much just there in case Wilde dies. But I decided to send him over to Jared Frio’s home to make nice. I need to have Jared at more parties and Wilde can’t invite him over because they are enemies.
Jared: Anyone ever tell you, you’re too pretty for prison?
Derrick: Okay, I think I’ll just go back home now.
Derrick returned to the house and nervously cleaned up while Wilde ran on the treadmill. Not long after Bella had a daughter:
Early Monday morning Madison turned into an elder and crossed her off the useful list. As soon as he could Wilde paid a visit to Bella (Bachelor) Sekemoto.
Bella: Wilde, I’m starving!
Wilde: I’ve got what you’re hungry for.
Before Wilde and Bella could get to the bedroom Brittney Morris gave birth:
And then the game lagged so bad that Bella left the house before Wilde could even get his ass up to the second floor where the bed was!!! So Wilde went home and invited over Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto. Who is looking pretty bad in her middle years. Maybe she should stop spending so much time at the dive bar.
They were about to get the job done in the hot tub when lllllllllaaaaaaaggggggg. Then she hoped out and ran out the door with an, “I gotta go bye.” AHHHHHH! It’s like they don’t want to get pregnant anymore!
I think I may have to kill off some of the adult children now. Sunset Valley may need to hold a lottery. Or maybe deleting the school would answer all of my problems. It doesn’t seem to lag like this on the weekends.
The game lagged it’s way through the school day and I decided to have everyone over for another party, only this time it would be a different sort of party! O.0
Before the guests arrived Lisa McGraw had her baby:
Perfect, she can get pregnant at the party too!
Oh yeah. Claire Ursine and Vita Alto died before the party. No biggie, half this town is going to die if there aren’t some improvement with this lag.
The guests started to arrive. Look here’s Jared!
I immediately had Wilde put the moves on Bella.
Blair and Sandi seem to be a little jealous. Eat it, Blair, you had your chance!
They ended up in the hot tub where Jared joined them NAKED! Why did I invite him again? Oh yeah, for the drama!
Jared: Don’t mind me. I ‘m just gonna give my danglies a little soak. Ahhhhh…
With Jared being a third wheel I decided to send Wilde and Bella to the bedroom. When they got out of the hot tub Lisa (Bunch) McGraw slapped the crap out of Bella!
And before I could scream GIRL FIGHT it was over. Bella and Wilde got it on in the bedroom anyway. With an audience.
Wilde: They all want me.
Sandi: I’m going to burn that bitch’s house down.
Brittney: Damn, I need a new look. This Grace Jones thing just isn’t me.
After I heard a jingle I sent Wilde to seduce Blaire Wainwright-Sekemoto. Things were going great. Wilde and Blair were making out and I felt confident that he would get her in the sack. I clicked away for a moment to check on the party. When I got back Blair was running away!
Wilde: Foiled yet again.
Look at poor Wilde. He doesn’t understand why Blair runs away at a moments notice. Why Blair has suddenly decided to play hard to get I will never know.
Jared was causing trouble with Derrick. He just won’t leave poor Derrick alone!
Jared: Your hair, it looks so soft and silky. Can I touch it?
Darrick: No. No one touches the hair, old man!
Oh, I guess some things are genetic.
Back at the hot tub Wilde finally got Lisa to join him.
One thing lead to another and…
Lisa: Oh, Wilde, I got chlorine in my eye and up my nose. It burns!
Who’s kid is that!
Morris Child: This place really needs more artwork.
And she wasn’t the only one! Brittney must have been babysitting her sisters because she brought three, THREE of them to the party! I had Derrick ask all the underage girls to leave as soon as possible. This was NOT a kiddie party.
Brittney: Quickly girls, go grab what ever food you can shove in your pockets.
I don’t know why Brittney is wearing that because it’s not like she put out at the party or anything. I mean she made out with Wilde by the hot tub and all.
But after I gave her a Rihanna makeover she pulled a Blaire and ran out the door.
Maybe she didn’t like standing in Wilde’s pee puddle. Why is she wearing pirate boots?
Wilde only managed to get two women pregnant at his party. Bummer. I’m really thinking about getting him that Inappropriate but in a good way reward. Problem is I really like the drama when he gets caught.
Wilde spent the rest of the night on the treadmill. In the morning (Tuesday) I tried to send him over to the Morris house. She got away last night, but she won’t today! Or so I hoped… Wilde sat on the porch for HOURS!
Wilde: What could be taking so long. A man needs to use the toilet!
Finally Monika Morris walked out onto the porch and WALKED RIGHT ON BY. Bitch!
Wilde rang the doorbell again and I looked into the windows to see if Brittney was stuck. As soon as she heard the bell…
Britney: Uh oh, that’s the door. Mommy better put you down.
She went into the bedroom.
Brittney: No one will find me in here.
WRONG! I see you, you cheap Rihanna knock-off!
Then some of Brittney’s sisters came home. Walked into the house and when Wilde rang the doorbell AGAIN they pretended not to hear it!
Irfan: DOOR! DOOR! DOOR!
Somer: SHH! Brittney said not to answer it. It’s that old guy.
Vera: Aren’t we related to him some how?
Vera: I didn’t hear the door. I am a statue. I am a statue.
In frustration I sent Wilde home and had him call River (Langerak) Landgraab. She came right over.
River: Why are your pants still on?
Finally, Someone willing to woohoo with Wilde! After Wilde said good-bye to River I had him call Blair (because I was feeling positive). Wilde invited her over and she said no. She said NO! So, I had Wilde call and ask her five more times just for the hell of it. She said no every.single.time.
Yusun had another baby, but I couldn’t be bothered with knocking her up at the moment.
Desperation made me go to town view and look for Blair and Brittney (who was no longer home. She must have ran right after Wilde left her porch). Blair was walking into the local dive bar.
Blair: That man keeps buggin me. I’ll stick his picture up on the dart board.
Who did I send to the bar?
Wilde: I could go for some bar food right about now.
I sent Wilde over to chat with Blair and invite her home.
For some unknown reason Blair thought Wilde was being rude! Whaaaat? What could be rude about calling someone six times in a row and then following them to the bar?
Blair: I just don’t want to come over!
Throughout the day I tried different things to help with lag. First I placed a new school, it didn’t work. Then I decided to trigger the age transitions for a bunch of teens and kids. If that doesn’t work I plan to kill off a bunch of useless adults. Like those that are giving me problems
Blair and Brittney. I may not be able to kill Blair and Brittney just yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take their loved ones away! BWAHAHAH!!!! *drunk with power*
Instead of beating a dead horse (more than I already had) I sent Wilde to visit Yusun.
And then it all made sense; Blair had been going through The Change.
After Yusun and Wilde made a baby I sent him over to the Morris house because I can’t take no for an answer.
As Wilde waited outside for someone to answer the door Holly Alto and dead to me.
Vera: *ignores Wilde*
As Wilde waited he had another child, a child of the night.
Finally Vera got of her butt and chatted with Wilde.
Vera: You’re kind of old and creepy. What do you want?
As Wilde was trying to get passed the gate keeper Brittney snuck out the back.
Wilde was finally able to talk to her and convinced her to come home with him.
Yeah, you know what’s happening now don’t you, Brittney? Bown chicka wow wow!
They had to kick Derrick out of the bed.
Then things happened as they should and I nearly got up and did a touchdown dance!
That’s right, making babies! I hope Wilde pulls out her weave while they’re under there!
By the time they were done and I booted her out it was Wednesday morning and time for Wilde to start the cycle all over again.
To start with I sent Wilde over to Sandi French-Alvi’s place. Wilde waited patiently while the children piled out of the house on their way to school.
Once the children were gone Wilde wasted no time letting Sandi know exactly what was on his mind.
Wilde: Let’s take that coat off and let those things breathe.
Things moved along in the kitchen where the neighbors could see.
Sandi: What o you say we take this to the bedroom? (I really can’t wait for shower woohoo. It will be like killing two birds with one stone.)
Before they reached the bedroom Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab had her baby.
Once in the bedroom things happened as you can imagine, with a small audience.
Two more children to make the psychologists of Sunset Valley richer.
After getting River pregnant and ruining the innocence of two children it was time for Wilde to move on. He called Bebe and met her at the theater. Wilde was feeling GOOD.
Wilde: Chalk one up for the Ol’ Wilde Stallion.
Bebe and Wilde got it on in the theater, but there was no jingle. I checked Bebe’s status, she was due to become an elder.
Wilde did come away from the theater with a negative moodlet! Doesn’t this game know that Wilde does not care about public woohoo?! He once went home with his man-berries hanging out!
To cheer myself up I sent Wilde to the beach to pick on Christopher Steel. I tried to zap him with the moodlet manager, but nothing happened.
Christopher: Wilde, we meet again…
Bebe: What are we doing over here, Wilde?
Wilde: Woman, I told you I don’t need you any longer. Go home!
I tried having Wilde invite Kaylynn over via the phone, but she denied a visit. So I did the next best thing; I sent Wilde to her home. Once there she pretended not to know him (the nerve). I had to go through all the get to know you options! Talk about wasting time!
Wilde: Girl, it me. The father of all your children. How can you not know me anymore?
Kaylynn: I’m sorry, I just don’t know who you are.
And I forgot to get a picture of it, but all of their children were booing Wilde for public woohoo. Whatever, it’s just another notch on his belt. Then someone had the nerve to jump into the bed. Rather than deal with the hissing and name calling Wilde invited Kaylynn over to his place and she ran, RAN to the door!
And when they got to Wilde’s bedroom Derrick was shooing the out of the room!
Derrick: Nu-uh! Out!
Wilde: Son, what have I told you about this. You can use the bed when I don’t need it. go sleep on the couch.
Wilde: Oh Plumbob, I think I’m kicking me some Derrick ass tonight!
Kaylynn: I feel awkward. Is that lint?
Derrick eventually came to his senses and bunked down on the couch leaving Wilde and Kaylynn to get reacquainted with one another.
Kaylynn: Oh Wilde, I do remember you!
Wilde: Could you just be quite until I’m done? I need to concentrate.
Once he was finished he asked her to leave and spent the rest of the night in the treadmill.
Thursday morning I tried to send Wilde over to Darlene Bunch’s house. Buuuuuut, she was busy giving birth.
Darlene: And he shall be known as Joaquin!
After the baby was born I sent Wilde over to her house. No time like immediately after giving birth to get pregnant again! As soon as Wilde rang the doorbell Darlene rushed out the the curb and got in her car to go to work leaving her newborn baby on the floor home alone.
Darlene: Did I forget something?
Darlene: I’m late. I gotta go.
Emma Hatch passed on, good-bye used up and useless.
Monika Morris and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto died. I may have had something to do with it… Brittney has been warned, hopefully in the future she proves to be more…agreeable… Blair knew it was coming, look at her just sitting there in the cemetery waiting to DIE!
Blair: Sitting in the cemetery is so peaceful…
The only bad thing about using Twallan’s mod to kill Blair is that she just disappeared. I didn’t get to enjoy watching her die. *is sad*
Because Darlene is the only female in town that I can get pregnant I scoured the town for her. I was determined to hunt her down. make her quit her job and get her on her back! Luckily I found her working at the Science Lab, Wilde hasn’t has a tour of the Science Lab yet. I sent him right over.
Sims were leaving as he walked up the the door. I was yelling at him, “Walk faster, Wilde. RUN!” I know he can’t hear me, but it helped cope with the stress of watching him CRAWL to the door. When he finally got there
two years later; Darlene was leaving! *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
If Darlene keeps this up I may need to kill one of her brothers…
I canceled Wilde’s tour of the Science Lab and had him follow Darlene home.
Wilde: Hey, Darlene, wait up!
Darlene: *is too ugly to hear*
She has some seriously ugly.
Darlene was nearly home as Wilde was inching his way toward his car (Jamie). I can not deal with this elderly walk. He runs every night, how can he be crippled during the day. Wait, never mind I just described my grandfather (gotta have those meds). O.o
Luckily, Jamie is a fast car. Wilde made it to the Bunch house just as Darlene entered the door and her brother Ethan came home. I wonder how Ethan feels about dying today? This challenge is making me crazy!
Doesn’t Ethan look stupid? Like he probably had 8-10 years of high school? And look at Wilde and his prissy look, it’s very Church Lady.
Dana Carvey: Well, isn’t that special?
This is Damaris Bunch, she has Wilde’s coloring, but clearly looks like
Pumba her mother. Here, Damaris is berating the maid for taking a 15 minute break.
Damaris: Maid, did you dust the door jamb? If I run my finger over it, will it come away clean, Maid?
Yeah, Damaris is a bit of a bitch. She learned from the best though. Pumba came into the room and noticed the maid quenching her thirst. She threw down the trash bag she was carrying and demanded that the maid clean it up.
Darlene: Excuse me? Do I pay you to drink my juice boxes or do I pay you to clean?
But when Wilde walked in the trash was all but forgotten. Maids must gossip because this one clearly knew who Wilde was.
Wilde: So are we going to go do this thing or what?
Darlene: Yes, of course.
Maid: It is zee Wilde Stallion! I ‘ope I am next!
Aaaand, just the thought of being with Wilde was apparently enough for her.
Maid: Oui… Oui… OOOOUUUUUUIIIIIII!!!!
She left the house in shame.
Wilde: Why are we still here staring at each other?
Darlene: I don’t know, am I drooling?
And then Damaris had to put her two cents in and nearly ruin the moment.
Damaris: Mother, do you know that woohoo is the leading cause of WTDs (woohoo transmitted diseases) and pregnancy?
Darlene: Go back to your homework, Damarais. You’re father and I have some talking to do.
Damaris: Father? My friends are not going to believe this. *takes picture*
Oh, but I think they will Damaris, for Wilde is their father also.
As Wilde and Darlene were talking Damaris and her Uncle Ethan started chatting.
Damaris: Uncle Ethan, did you know that my mother is a piece of trash?
Ethan: Whoa! You’re mom is a piece of garbage?
Ethan: Sooo… Does that mean we’re not related?
Ethan: S’up? *wink*
Damaris: Ew! Of course we’re related. You and my mother are siblings.
Ethan: Nu’uh, I’m not garbage, I’m a Sim!
Then Damaris walked off mumbling something about being surrounded by idiots.
I was about to send Wilde home to his treadmill for the night when Bella had her baby. Wilde went to her house instead.
Wilde arrived at Bella’s house and was invited inside. Then she left. I think maybe Wilde should just go home and start a new day!
See inside the window; that’s Wilde hoping to get some. See here, outside the house; that’s Bella leaving. It’s like Déjà vu.
Bebe Hart became and elder thus retiring from her role as Sim PEZ Dispenser.
Derrick Jolina become a mature adult all by himself. Wilde was too busy being denied by the women.
Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave birth to a daughter.
I aerialy (is that a word?) stalked Bella to the movie studio and had Wilde join her there.
Wilde: I can feel you looking at me.
They toured the studio together and she left with a bun I the oven.
I then tried to squeeze in a visit to the McGraw house, but Wilde ended up on the porch waiting while everyone inside ignored him.
Giving up I sent Wilde home to the treadmill.
The next morning (Friday) River had another child.
Wilde invited Lisa over to his place twice, both times she said she would be right over, both times she did not show. I decided to watch her house to see if she left. She eventually did and she did not go to Wilde’s house, she went to the dive bar!
Wilde was quite happy to have found her, I can’t say the same about Lisa. That is Wilde’s son, Jeremiah Wolff. He’s a Wilde clone.
Lisa also pretended not to know Wilde during her stay at the bar (weird glitch). Lisa eventually left alone and Jeremiah ended up on the bar.
Bartender: Shake that thing in my face and loose it!
Striking out for the last time, I sent Wilde home to burn off some steam on the treadmill. Before the night was through Yusun gave birth:
Then I logged out for the night. When I came back into the game I sent Wilde over to Lisa’s house. I was determined to get her pregnant! Wilde ran the whole way there. I was a little unnerved by the way he was clutching his chest as he ran.
No, damn you, you will not die now! Get over there and knock her up! We will run out of women before you die!
Wilde ran up to the door and rang the doorbell just before 3:00 am Saturday morning! I love it when sims freak out when the doorbell rings.
Federico McGraw: Whoa! What the… We have a DOOR? When did we get a door?
Lisa granted Wilde entry and recognized him! Finally! Of course Wilde wasted no time at all and put the moves on Lisa. Everyone in the room thought this was terrible person person minuses were flying around the room! I have never seen a sim get so upset and threaten violence!
Shasta McGraw: Why I aughta…
Lisa and Wilde ignored Shasta and her teenage hormones and made their way to the master bedroom where it was on like Donkey Kong.
The night was just too much for poor Federico and he went to bed. But before retiring he decided to turn on the stereo and go ape shit.
Federico: GAAAAAH! Why did I turn this on, I hate the stereo!!!
Outside the master bedroom door Shasta waited with tears in her eyes.
Shasta: Why does it have to be in my room?
And when it was over (three minutes later), Lisa asked Wilde to leave. First time that’s ever happened.
Wilde left and ran on the treadmill until 7:00 am.
This is what happens when I leave Derrick home alone. He’s broken the dishwasher and left a puddle. There are cups EVERYWHERE and the toilet is disgusting! Every time he uses the toilet it looks like this. Not like he’s going to try and clean it up; that’s what the maid is for.
But the maid has stopped showing up lately. I think I would too.
Brittney gave Wilde another child. Let’s hope she’s learned her lesson and will put out when he asks.
Check out that toilet, it looks chunky.
Just for fun I made Wilde use it.
Wilde: I really need a shower now.
Remember the painting that Wilde stole form the Alto house? It looks great in the Bachelor Pad.
Wilde like paintings with ladies in them.
I sent Wilde over to Yusun Ursine’s place. She welcomed him with welcome arms.
Everyone: Crying babies!!!
notice no one in this house cares if Wilde and Yusun are about to get I on. Odd. Perhaps because she has never been married? I don’t know.
Widle and Yusun: Gross make out noises.
I tried and tried, but I could not get Yusun pregnant… When I checked her status she is due to become a mature adult. Look at how upset he is because we didn’t hear the lullaby.
It’s alright, Wilde, you will try again.
Sandi French-Alvi gave Wilde another child. Looks like the last day of the week will be a busy one for Wilde. *whip crack*
Sandi met Wilde at the theater. As they were entering the building Sandi had this thought bubble.
I’m not sure what to make of it. Did she get fired from her job or does she have a burnin’ down below?
After their date was over I sent Wilde over to City Hall because Brittney was there. Look, my very first protest. First one I have caught in any of my games!
Tammie Wainwright-Sekemoto: Prom Queens for science! We support science!!!
Regina Morris: Wait, what do we support?
Tammie: Science, Regina. We support science, it brought us Botox.
That crazy old lady is Jamie Jolina. She is such and avid supported of science it looks like she could beat Carrie Wolff with her sign just to prove a point.
Jamie: Imagine what I would look like without Botox! I support science!
When Wilde got to City Hall stupid Brittney pretended not to know him.
Brittney: I’m sorry, do I know you?
Wilde whipped out his car which must have jogged her memory.
Brittney: Oh it’s you. The father of my many children!
Then they proceeded to woohoo in the judges chambers. upon exiting City Hall they were booed mightily by the protesters for public woohoo. You know they were all just jealous.
Wilde was invited to a party at the Crumplebottom-Steel home to which he brought Brittney.
Synchronized strutting it’s the coolest sport around. So when your done playing Frolf get yourself over to a synchronized strut class!
The party was a bust, Christopher Steel wasn’t there, so Wilde couldn’t abuse him. The highlights of the party were:
Meeting Hitler, I mean Kenton Crumplebottom-Steel. It was his party.
Eating burnt Mac and Cheese.
Wilde: This is Mac and Cheese? It looks like a bunch of dead flies.
Cleveland Crumplebottom-Steel: *chokes*
And before he left Wilde broke the john.
On his way home Justine Keaton died and River (McIrish) Landgraab became an elder and might as well be dead.
Also on his way home Yusun became a mature adult. Wilde invited her over for a “wild night.” This time we got a lullaby!
Kaylynn also had another child:
I just realized I forgot to get a picture of the school on Friday! It’s still really over crowded, but since I have made a bunch of the teens become adults my lag is slightly better.
At the end of this week Wilde was 86 he had a total of 221 children (16 born during Week Eight) and he has a grand total of 620, 898 Lifetime Happiness Points. There are seven ‘eligible’ women in town, all but one were pregnant when I saved and quit at 4:23 Sunday morning (the start of Week Nine).
Here is a look at all those children:
The following teens have become young adults (alphabetical order). If you want one for download let me know:
Leisure Suit Larry Berjes Wolff
Hitler Kenton Crumplebottom-Steel
Heman Monte Landgraab
Mr. Robinson Phillip Andrews