From Beyond the Grave

I finally finished aging all of Wilde’s children to Young Adult and finished the families trees which you can see in the Children page.  Again, if you want one up for download post a comment on that page and I will put the sim up as soon as I can.

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I had to wait for one last pregnancy to end.  It took three tries because my game kept freezing, but it was so worth it.

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After Shanda was born I received this pop up.  Looks like Wilde is still destroying relationships even from beyond the grave!

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Shandra was a little glitched at first, but the doctors say she will be fine.

She does remind me of Sloth from The Goonies (best movie EVER).

So the final tally for Wilde’s children is 255!!!

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Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 20 Comments

Week Eleven

Welcome back for another installment of the epic tale of Wilde Oates.

When last we left off Wilde was sent off to a party thrown by Megan Landgraab, one of his numerous daughters.

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It wouldn’t be a party without some drama!

Sandi Bunch: No, I will not give you my number.  You are my BROTHER!

Demond Landgraab: Whoa, sorry!  I didn’t recognize you from behind!

Kendall Wan: Dude, that guy just tried picking up his sister.

Lukas Crumplebottom-Steel (with ponytail): Dude, she’s everyone’s sister.

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Where was Megan while her party was falling apart on the lawn?  In bed sleeping.  You might recognize this room from Week Six.  Wilde was very nearly jumped by Geoffrey and Malcolm Landgraab here.

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You know it’s time to go home when the old woman at the party tries to get in your pants.

River: Hey Wilde, how about you and I go upstairs and relive our younger days?

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Wilde: Hey, that’s sounds like fun, River.  Why don’t you head upstairs and get ready. I’ll be up in a few minutes.

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River: OH-KAY!

Nice crazy face, River.

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River ran upstairs as fast as her elderly body could manage.

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And Wilde ran to his car and drove home.

Wilde: Let’s get the Hell out of here, Jamie.

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Wilde would rather spend the night with his treadmill than warming an old woman’s bed.

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As Wilde was making his escape Darlene gave birth.  Jeramie…I’ve never seen it spelled that way before.

During Wilde’s run I decided to scan the town.

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I found this at the Market.  It looks as though Kristoffer McGraw’s face is melting off.

Reid Bachelor: *gasp* I hope that isn’t contagious.

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Across the street The Grind closed. 

Tracy Alto: (to Madison) Ooo, I would love to paint a nude of you

Esmeralda Hatch: OMGIMGONNAPUKE!

Megan Donnor-Sw0rd: Llama saliva, he’s going to starve!  No one is going to buy a nude painting of Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor. 

But perhaps this painting would be for Tracy’s “personal” collection?

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And at the Art Gallery Bella decides she is tired of being pregnant.

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Looks like this is as good a time as any to have the baby.

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What do you do when you’re across the street from the hospital and you go into labor?

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You go home, of course.  *shakes head* sims… 

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And then I find this outside the theater.  Something makes me think they could be on a date.  *cue cheesy soap opera music*

Annette Alto: Don’t turn away from me. Edgar; look at me.

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Edgar Kimura:  Damn your eyes, Annette.  You know I can’t resist you!

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Annette: I don’t want to hide how I feel anymore, Edgar.  I want the world to know of our love.

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Edgar: But, Annette, you’re my sister!

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Annette: Yes, Edgar, I’m your sister, and I love you!

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I left when Edgar’s thoughts because uncomfortably inappropriate.  I will save my readers from the taste of bile in their throats.

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That was quick (not really), welcome Jerad!

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When 7:00 am finally rolled around I forced Wilde off the treadmill.  There’s baby makin’ to be done!

I think it’s clear by their thought bubble what is about to happen here.

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Darlene and Wilde shared a kiss and Stacie Bunch-Hart got angry.

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Darlene: Wilde and I are going to go up to my room.

Staci: No, Mom, not with him!

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And as Darlene and Wilde start making out again Carina Bunch-Hart came over to glower.

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And as Carina began to lecture her elders Bill Bunch-Hart came over to to cast his disapproving stare.  Bill, while not as ugly as a Bunch, is still clearly a Bunch.

Carina: Ahem…I would-

Staci: Allow me, Carina.

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Staci casually walked over to Wilde and told him to keep it in his pants.

Darlene: STACI, do not talk to your father that way!

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Wilde was starting to get bored.  If he wasn’t going to get some action soon he was going to leave.

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Finally Darlene got her act together and met Wilde in the bathroom for some good clean fun.

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Cornell Bunch-Hart walked in on the randy couple.  Darlene was left to do the walk of shame while Wilde did the stride of pride on his way to Bella’s house.

Now, if you will remember form the last update; Bella has developed a heart under her friendship bar.  This means when Wilde show up on her doorstep we should have a very Sandyesque confrontation.  Go on, go get your popcorn; I’ll wait.

Jeez, it took you long enough.  Did you have to grow the corn and churn your own butter?

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Ohhh, are you guys excited?  I know I am.  Look at that crazed expression on Bella’s face!

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Surprised smile  Wut?

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Bella has become a disappointment.  Also, she must be on the pill because there was no lullaby.  Sad smile

Because Wilde has no where else to be, I sent him off to find Christopher Steel.  Meanwhile, I scan the town.

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I’ve never before noticed this strange birthmark on Mark McGraw’s face.  The man must wear makeup to cover it.

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Ugly man Arlo Bunch has done the impossible and become even uglier.  Look at the size of his face!  It’s like a small Easter Island Statue.

The Bunch family must have been the inspiration for these statues.  Their ancestors that is.

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As Wilde waited for Christopher to get out of work he checked out this young French tourist’s ass.

No, Wilde, she is off limits!

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Over at the park  Betsy Wainwright-Sekemoto has the same strange marking on her face.  Something is happening to the cops in this town!  Possibly some sort of classified RoboCop-type program?  Abigail (who has a new look now that she’s an adult) must be Betsy’s doctor/scientist buddy.

Abigail Hatch: Try not to act too much like a robot, Betsy.  The point is to blend in.

Betsy: Confirmed.

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Mortimer Goth was being weird on the other side of the park.  Nice outfit, dude.

Mortimer: Go away!  I want to be alone among the flowers!

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Sad day.  Bella’s uterus has become a prune.  So long Bella, you were…useful?  Well, your ute was anyway.

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At the theater Annette sadly waited for Edgar.  Looks like she’d been waiting a while.

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O.o  Looks like Edgar pissed off the wrong sim!

Annette: *mumbles* Bastard stood me up.  NO ONE stands me up!

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Then she got into her car and disappeared in a cloud of dust.

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Curious, I followed her.  She went to the beach where she propositioned Quinn Bachelor.

Annette: I was just stood up and I’m looking for someone to take me home.

Quinn: Ehhh…

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Annette: Look, I’m on the rebound here.  Are you going to take me to bed or not?

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Quinn: Well, here’s the thing.  You’re my sister…

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Annette: Grrr…  I guess I’m not getting laid tonight.

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Back to Wilde.  Christopher Steel finally left work.  When he noticed Wilde his night was instantly ruined. 

Wilde: Mission accomplished…

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Britney showed up and Wilde invited her over to his place.

Wilde: You look like garbage without your weave.

Brittney: You’re harsh words make tears pour from my eyes as rain pours from a cloud.

Wilde: What?

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They decided to go out to the love tub where Derrick was because he had just BROKEN IT AGAIN!

Wilde and Brittney shared a kiss in front of Derrick and his reality came crashing down around him again.  Poor Derrick…break the hot tub again and I will be forced to taunt you a second time!

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This is funny.  Derrick back-handed Brittney.

Wilde: Hmmm…  That’s nice…

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Brittney: Macaroni-head!

Derrick: WHORE!

Derrick – 1 Brittney – 0

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After the confrontation by the broken hot tub, Derrick decided to visit the bathroom.  He knows the shower is Wilde’s second favorite place to woohoo (this guy likes to woohoo in water).  By the look on Derrick’s face he was planning to stay in there a while.  I canceled the action and sent him off to the pool; he will not be messing with Wilde’s game today!

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Two seconds later…

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Three minutes later…

Brittney (sporting a fresh weave): Well, should we go to bed now?

Wilde: Bed?  LOL.  It’s time for you to go home.

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Before I sent Wilde off to the treadmill I noticed Derrick took the car with him to the pool.  He better hope Wilde doesn’t find out how he’s violated Jamie.

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As Wilde ran through the night I scoped out the town.  I found this in the Ursine house.

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Oh…  Nothing to see here.

Monday morning and all the women (Brittney, Darlene, Sandi and Yusun) are all pregnant. 

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Wilde’s man-maid, Thaddeus Jacob, showed up for work FINALLY!  Seriously, it’s been weeks.

Thaddeus: Duuuuuuude. you are my hero!

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Thaddeus: Whaddya think, you wanna share with ol’ Thaddeus here?

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Wilde: Get in there and clean my throne, boy.  Then go home.

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Thaddeus forgot to clean the toilet.

He is Wilde’s man-maid no longer.

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Thaddeus ruined Wilde’s chances with Sandi.  Luckily she was already pregnant and zero days away from aging into an elder. Wilde’s still got game.

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To apologize I had Wilde take Sandi out for lunch.  While there Cyrus and Madison broke up.  I’m wondering if Madison let Tracy Alto paint that nude of her and when Cyrus found out it ruined their relationship.  It’s sad when brothers ruin each other’s relationships.

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After Wilde’s lunch was over he told Sandi to find her own way home because I spotted Christopher Steel at the bookstore!  Wilde scared the ever-loving crap out of him.  It was loud…Wilde’s roar was too.

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Cyrus Hart-Wan is clearly depressed.  The signs are all there from not caring about what he is dressed in to urinating on the lawn of the library.

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Later, Madison showed up at the library and Cyrus though of throwing a book at her.

Nothing else happened at the library so I sent Wilde home for his nightly run.

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Tuesday morning Yusun gives Wilde another daughter, Haeju.  I honestly have no idea how to pronounce that name.  Does the J have an English J sound?  Does it have a Y sound or an H sound?  Hay-jew, Hay-who or Hay-you?  I like the idea of it being Hey-you, because Yusun ran out of names for her children.  (My husband doesn’t laugh at my jokes and it depresses me.)

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Wilde’s Childbirth ESP went off and he had Yusun upstairs and in bed before uterus returned to it’s rightful size.  Yusun never says no.

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At the market I noticed Mortimer Goth turned into and elder.  Nice cane.

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I forgot to her her name, but clearly this daughter of Wilde has a problem with the elder Mortimer.

Erica Landgraab: Can’t you take your moth-ball-stink somewhere else?

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Just in case anyone forgot this is a Family Man Challenge.  Looks like Rian French may be plotting his baby sister’s murder.  By the way, Wilde was at the French-Alvi house because Sandi is due to have her baby.

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LOOK!  It’s like I planned it.  Open-mouthed smile

Sandi: AAAHHHHHHH!!!

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Jeff French:  Mom, does this mean you’re not making dinner?!!?  I’m hungry!!!

Sandi: HOO HOO HEE

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Courtney French: No way, Mom!  You’re not making dinner?!?

Sandi: Would you shut up about dinner!

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Elsa French: Jeez, I can’t believe you didn’t make dinner!

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Sandi: Gah! Go to the diner!

Elsa French: Oh please, Mother, no one wants to get intestinal worms.

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Sofia French-Alvi: Mother, could you please tell your son to get his head out of my crotch.

Brannon French-Alvi: *can’t hear anything*

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Wilde wasted no time at all.

Rian French: Oh great, she’s going to get knocked up again.

Sofia French-Alvi: Whoa, someone stop that from happening!

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They woohooed in the shower.  I doubt there was a jingle because Sandi has zero days before her elder birthday.  But I can’t say for sure because my volume was off. I sent Wilde home to his treadmill, he could do nothing more in the French-Alvi house.

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Wednesday morning I noticed Pumba Darlene Bunch turned elder.

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I noticed a cluster of sims at the market and sent Wilde there.  Felipe Bunch clearly has daddy-issues.

Felipe: Where were you all of my youth?

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Oh look, Arlo Bunch showed up incognito in his lifejacket and aviator sunglasses.

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Later that night I sent Wilde off to The Grind.  He sat down to have some nachos when Christopher walked by.

Wilde: *is satisfied*

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Wilde finished his nachos and started to levitate.

Wilde: Will you look at that…pixie dust!

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Everyone gathered around to watch their father die.

Christopher: So long, asshole!

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Wilde greeted Death, he was ready to go.  (And I have been waiting for him to go.)

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Then he jumped in his urn.

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Christopher Steel: Well…I will sleep well tonight.

Everyone else: Oh noes!

Wilde died at 102 with 717,701 LTH points and 252 children (I think, it could be more)! 

No children this week, I’m in the process of making them all Young Adults.  Then I plan to overhaul the Children page with family trees for Wilde and his women.

I hope you enjoyed the drama that is was Wilde’s life.  He didn’t live as long as I thought he would, but I has stopped granting him wishes because they were all about his children.  I think in time I will give this another shot in a town populated with Simselves.  Note To Self: Find and download more Simselves.

 

THE END

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 25 Comments

Is it Christmas?

Are you a Daily Deal addict like I am?  Today is your day, my friend.

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With a new one every hour I have timer set up so I can quickly check the new one.  I told you I’m addicted…

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Week Ten

Before giving Wilde the new rewards I sent him back over to Sandi’s house (after his workout), I wanted to see if he could get back into her good graces all on his own.

Before he heads out the door Pauline Wan died.  So long Pauline, it was good while it lasted, but it was over long ago.

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Upon arrival Wilde noticed his new son on the grass.

Nichol French: …and you can stay out here until you quiet down…brat.

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Inside Sandi is sleeping on her couch.  It would have been more convenient had she been sleeping in the bed.  Wilde could have been in and out before she even woke up.  O.O

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Before Wilde could moodlet manage Sandi awake this hideous thing (Audra French) walked by.  I have no words…only…she looks a lot like her mother.

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Wilde tried to ask Sandi to pillow fight, but she disappeared!

Wilde: What the…

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When she reappeared she was wearing…this?

Sandi: Peek-a-boo!

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Then she whipped out a pillow and aggressively attacked Wilde.

Wilde: I fink I waffs a toof.

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Wilde tried getting chummy with her.

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But she wasn’t having it.

Sandi: You broke my heart.  I don’t know if I can trust you again.

Wilde: Sandi, baby!  I’m a Wilde Stallion… (Yadda, yadda, yadda, you get.)

At this point I would like to mention that I did try the Confess to Cheating interaction in another save file.  I do not think Wilde is a cheater, he and Sandi HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING!  Or so I thought…  I tried it anyway.  Do not *repeat* DO NOT try this option unless you are willing to give up on the relationship completely (as in she can’t give you no mo’ babies).  After he “confessed” their relationship took a DIVE.  

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And that’s when I remembered that Sandi is a married woman!  What the hell, game!  Why are you buggin’ on Wilde?

And now back to your regularly(ish) scheduled…blog.

I decided to use the Share Secret interaction.  What kind of secrets could Wilde have anyway…

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Wilde, you moron!  Don’t resort to lying!  Take her to the bar and get her drunk!  I didn’t even know that he even knew that word.  It probably stuck in his throat like dry toast.

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Sandi tried to put her coat on and escape, but Wilde pulled out his last trick.

Sandi: FLOWERS!  Ah mah gahd, I think I hyperextended my fingers in my excitement.  Help!  (Her face is funny Smile)

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Fingers shmingers.  They did it in the shower!  Hooray for pillow fights!  Disclaimer: Results may vary.

Elsa is mopping the floor, because she clogged the toilet.  And Rian wishes he had put Mother Nature on hold.

Rian: Oh no!  What I have seen!  My eyes, MY EYES!

Rian had nightmares foe several weeks afterward.

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While Sandi and Wilde were busy in the shower I had a look around town.  There was a protest against crime at City Hall.

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Qiana Wan was there.  She’s a teenager, but she looks like an old woman.  When she reaches adulthood she’s going to look like the crypt keeper. 

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Darlene had a son!  Time for a visit from Wilde!  Hopefully things will be a bit smoother with her.  *crosses fingers*

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Before I had him leave I noticed he had a Just be Friends interaction.  I did that and Sandi got all pissy on him.  She must be pregnant.  Whatever, go cry to your husband!  (It got rid of that blasted heart under their friendship bar!)

I sent Wilde home to invite Darlene over because I was having trouble finding her on the map.  While he did that I checked out the town.

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Yusun was giving an impromptu concert in front of the market.  Rosie Kimura heckled her until she put the guitar away. 

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Adria Morris was there.  She used the blender to do her hair, got her face caught in it.  She’s just happy she survived.

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I went back to Wilde so he could invite Darlene over.  Wilde was pulling into his driveway when this taxi ran into him.  I hate to point out stereotypes, but notice the driver is Asian…

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Luckily Wilde was okay and he was able to invite Darlene over.  Wilde also told Derrick he had to “get lost.”

Derrick: *cough* whore *cough*

Darlene: *ignores*

Good news is Darlene and Wilde’s relationship seems to be unaffected by his reputation.

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I think we all know what happened next.  Wilde’s phone rang, an opportunity popped up and a baby was born all at the same time creating a crazy lullaby remix situation.  All the clubs are playing it; it’s hot.

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Lag causing baby.  Darlene’s time was up, Wilde had somewhere to be.

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As soon as I tell Wilde to go visit Kaylynn’s house she dashes off to whoknowswhere.  Screw you, Kaylynn (later)! 

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Bella just had a baby too, Wilde will see her instead!

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Wilde decides to run there…  I am not impressed.

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Kaylynn, please don’t drown your baby!  I will Ctrl Shift C familyfund you money!!!

Kaylynn: *silently crying*

That PPD (Post Partum Depression) is a bitch!

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Also not affected by his reputation is Bella.  Lesson: Just be Friends (friend with benefits) with all the women!  Don’t let them fall in love with you!  Even if they are married.

Only problem with this is…

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This creepy kid was hanging out while Wilde was trying to get his freak on.  Move you little freak, you’re in the way!  Thank the Good Llama for shower woohoo!

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Wilde stood there watching Bella for too long before finally climbing into the shower with her.  Careful Wilde, you’ll get a reputation for being a creeper.  After the lullaby (first try) I sent Wilde home to his cold hard treadmill.

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He ran there…  Crying face

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Looks like Wilde has one last chance to make up with Christopher.

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Checking in on Kaylynn I see that she’s placed the baby on the bank of the lake.

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I wonder if Wilde is still running home and yes, yes he is.

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Rush back to Kaylynn and see that she is leaving.  Where’s the baby?

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*crickets*

Disclaimer: No babies were actually harmed in the making of this post.

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On the other side of town I decided to send Wilde to The Grind because the place was HAWT!  First thing I see is a newly pregnant Yusun dancing on a possibly wobbly table.

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Wilde, being the man that he is decides to buy the pregnant woman a drink.  At least she’s off that table now.

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On the other side of the room Aleksey decide more table dancing is in order.  That’s Brittney, she’s is still on my list.

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As the night went on the garage door seemed to have a taste for Aleksey.

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Yusun suddenly remembers she’s pregnant and shouldn’t be drinking.

Yusun: OH WHOA!  Wait a minute…

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She decides to leave.

Wilde: But I just ordered drinks.

Yusun: KTHXBYE

Wilde: That’s what I ordered!

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Aleksey’s head slowly goes deeper into the garage.

Garage: Just a little further…

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Then the bar shut down and everyone had to leave.

Garage: Ahh dang!

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I expected Wilde to rush out the door with the rest of the patrons.  Instead he chug his drink and table danced like a much younger man.

They’ve all gone home, Wilde.  No one is there to see your shame.

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When Wilde got home he started behaving like he had the Insane trait.

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Then he calmed down and did his time on the treadmill.

Monday morning I let Wilde have his first nap since getting the Moodlet Manager.  Might as well, all the women that can get pregnant are pregnant and The Baby Killer Kaylynn is two days from her elder birthday and can’t get pregnant anyway.  After his nap I sent him off to do his Record a Commercial opportunity.  Then it was time to hit the town and see what was up!

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Sammie Ansari kills time by trying to look at his glass eye.

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This town has a whole lotta ugly and it’s named Arlo Bunch!  It’s brought Cortney Ansari to tears! 

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But really Cortney could be crying because his mother just died…

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Noticing that Christopher  was at Waylon’s Haunt I sent Wilde over.

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What better way to waste some time than to point out Christopher’s flaws? 

Christopher: What?  I just came here to get some dinner.  Why are you picking on me?

Wilde: Because today is your lucky day.  You should thank me.

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And then Christopher got all excited about how he and Wilde are both great kissers.

Wilde: Hey, hey HEY…  Don’t look there when you talk about kissing! 

Interesting fact: Christopher Wan-Steel is now Wilde’s son in-law.  He married Wilde’s daughter Griselda.  Imagine those holiday dinners…

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Widle was busy putting Christopher down when Kaylynn tried to get his attention.

Kaylynn: Hey, Wilde!  Hi…  Wilde, hi!

Too bad Wilde has a medical disorder; he can’t hear women he can’t get pregnant.

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Satisfied, Wilde decided to buy a round of drinks.

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Suddenly Christopher started to sparkle!

Christopher: I feel kina funny.  What was in those onion rings?

Venus Landgraab: OH EM GEE!  My dad totally humiliated this guy to death!

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Venus: BWAHAHAHAHAH!  This is better than getting married. 

Not that she knows; all the men in town are her brothers.

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Death showed up and gave Wilde a stare-down.

Wilde: Is he still looking over here?

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Then Chris pulled out a Death Flower and handed it to Death!!!!  I was so surprised at this I hooted with laughter!  It was so loud my husband jumped Devil.

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Wilde: You have GOT to be kidding me.

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Death: Do you have a flower, Wilde?

Wilde: *involuntary urination*  I think my water just broke.

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Nope, that would be Lisa’s water that broke.

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The near death encounter had Christopher running through a gauntlet of emotions.

Christopher: That was exhausting, I need to go to bed.

Wilde: Sleep like the dead…

Susanne Landgraab: YES!!!  Yes, please let’s go to bed.  I want a baby.  PLEASE give me a baby!

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Christopher: I’m starving!

Audra French: Maybe you should have the hot wings instead of onion rings.

Wilde: And choke on them…

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Christopher: But first I need to take a massive dump.

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And after that TMI Wilde ran to Lisa (Bunch) McGraw’s house.  Wilde is obviously planning to have a good time.

Morgana Wolff died, she stopped giving Wilde triplets a long time ago so she will not be missed.

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Lisa (thinking): Do I have to pay him for this?  Should I have him pay me?

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Then she nearly killed the moment by peeing the floor.

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Lisa: Sweet nibblets (Hannah Montana anyone?), Is that a deal breaker?

Wilde: Nah, it takes more than a soggy sock to get to turn me off.

GROSS!

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Lisa: I really need to go to bed.  *painful flirty smile*

Wilde: *does his best French Elvis impression…and fails*

(French Elvis?  I dunno, just go with it.)

Kristoffer McGraw: He’s going to get her pregnant again.

Christal Bunch: Plumbob sparkles in my eye, Mother!  No.More.Babies!

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Then when they got upstairs to seal the deal Wilde starts to complain about how Lisa stinks.  Like I give a llama’s butt; do it in the shower!

Lisa: Oh, it’s going to take more than a soggy sock…MY ASS!

Wilde: I can handle a soggy sock, but when you start expelling noxious pit gasses into the air that’s another story all together!

And that was it.  Lisa told Wilde it was late and time for him to go home.  Way to blow it, Wilde!

So Wilde went home and spend the rest of the night running on his machine.

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The next morning (Tuesday) Lisa greeted Wilde at the door in her underwear.

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Lisa obnoxiously laughed at Wilde’s French Elvis impression.  (He just won’t let it go.)

Savannah McGraw: *shudders* Gross.

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On a side note: The family could be under surveillance.  This truck has been outside the (Bunch) McGraw House for a few sim days now and I have no idea how to get rid of it.  Anyone know what I can do to get rid of it?

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Finally Wilde and Lisa get it on in the shower.  The shower was a great choice; Wilde ran all night with that pee soaked sock on…

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Oops!  They broke the shower.  Looks like it’s time for Wilde to go!  Unfortunately I didn’t hear a lullaby.

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Look, another empty uterus!  Wilde will be busy!

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I sent Wilde home and invited Lisa over for some afternoon scrumpin’.

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They broke the Love Tub and I still didn’t hear a lullaby!  Eye rolling smile  So I had Wilde tell her to leave.  Maybe her ute is drying up, or maybe the problem lies with Wilde…  Naaaahhhh.

Lisa: When is the last time you cleaned this thing!

Wilde: I know.  You should get pregnant just by getting in.

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And Yusun kindly evicted her uterus’ inhabitant.

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I ran Wilde over the Morris house for a quickie.  He ended up waiting at the door for…a while…  Can you see her in there just chatting away!  She is purposely thumbing her nose at me and I don’t like it! 

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Wilde’s daughter Vera even came to the window and peeked out.  @#$%!!!!

Here’s a tip: If you’re going to pretend not to be home, buy some freaking curtains!

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Wilde left Brittney’s without scoring a homerun.  He went to the theater and called Yusun.  She met him there.  Yusun never says no.

Wilde’s son I forgot the name of: I know what you two are doing in there.

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They did it in a dirty janitor’s closet.  When they were finished (I heard a lullaby), Wilde left Yusun at the theater and drove home.

Yusun: That was fun, Wilde.  Wilde?

The things that poor baby must have seen…  Embarrassed smile

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Wednesday morning as Wilde had his after-workout-shower I noticed Brittney was at the grocery store.  Needless to day I ripped Wilde out of that shower so fast his children got whiplash – all of them.  Once he go to the store Brittney acted as though they were long lost friends.  I’m starting to think she may have split personalities.  Wilde took the opportunity to ask her back to his place.

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She wasted no time getting into the shower.  She didn’t even take time to remove her clothing! 

Wilde: Uhhh, that’s going to make things a little difficult.

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Outside the bathroom door:

Derrick: What is going on in there!  Let me in or your going to have a yellow pond in the living room!

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Derrick: Who’s the hooker?

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Wilde’s Childbirth ESP tingled and he told Brittney to go.  It was time to give Sandi another visit.  He crossed his fingers that this one would be drama free!

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As Wilde waits to be let in I check out the new baby.  What is with that skin tone?

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I go back to the door to check on Wilde and…  That looks really suspicious.

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!!!  Crying face 

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Elsa: I wish I had a boyfriend.  Maybe Sofia has the right idea…

NOOOO!!!  It’s a Family Man Challenge NOT an anything goes challenge!

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Things with Sandi went off without a hitch.  Until Jeff French walked into the bathroom…

Jeff: Uhhhhh…  I mean, uhhhhh…  Uhhhhh…

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Jeff wasn’t expecting to get up close and personal with Mr. Bojangles.

Jeff: Can’t you put that thing away?

Wilde: I prefer to air-dry. 

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Wilde left Sandi’s house and headed to a party at Brittney Morris’ house that Karissa Morris was throwing.  Upon entering the residence Wilde spotted a platter of spoiled food.  Being the gentleman that he is he disposed of it.

Karissa: *death stare*

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Suddenly it was time for Wilde to leave!  With a name like Spring, she had better be cute.

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That Karissa is a lovely girl.  Just lovely…

I had not seen a pop up like that before and giggled like mad when it came up.

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I forgot to get pictures of Wilde and Darlene.  I found her in the cemetery with her husband.  Must have been date night.  Wilde swooped in and asked Darlene to come home with him.  As you can see in the picture above she dropped him like a bad habit.

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Bella had her baby so it was time to rush through this visit with Darlene.

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While they were doing naughty things I noticed Wilde’s tub disappeared!  I’ve had this problem since I patched my game.  Even in the build contest I did for The Byrd Legacy, I had random things end up missing.  I don’t get it.

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As soon as Wilde and Darlene were finished he went straight to Bella’s house and wasted no time at all.

Wilde: Who’s hungry for some man-meat!?

*gag*

I heard a lullaby and sent Wilde home for the night.

Thursday nothing important happened.  Wilde exercised and went to the bar then came home and exercised more.

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Friday after Wilde finished his workout I let him nap on the couch.

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I checked out the town during Wilde’s nap and found Brittney Morris at the Grocery Store.  She looks concerned, I wonder if she’s finally realized that she’s on my list.  Tock tock, Brittney.  But really she’s probably here begging for money to buy food because she can’t afford to feed her family.  She’s been knocked up since she turned Young Adult which means she hasn’t been too work since she graduated. 

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Now that all five available females (Bella, Brittney, Darlene, Sandi and Yusun) are pregnant I have time to stalk the neighbor, Christopher Wan-Steel. 

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Here is a look at the town at 1:13pm on Friday.  It’s obvious where the school is, but can you find Waldo?  Kidding he’s not in town.

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After Wilde’s nap her worked out and then went to bed – this guy has an exciting life.  While he was sleeping Derrick decided to turn on the stereo.

Derrick: *laughs*  Try sleeping through that.

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Wilde was not amused.  I sent Derrick out to the club so he would leave his father/roommate/enemy alone.

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A short time later Yusun expelled her spawn.

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I sent Wilde over to Yusun’s house.  She wasn’t home at first, but Wilde is a patient man; he waited at her place.  When she finally go home it was 2:45 am.  I quickly had him ask her if he could stay the night.  She agreed, but with my lag issues one of her children had already asked him to leave. Sad smile  So he went home to his treadmill. 

Game: *llllllllaaaaaaagggggg*

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It took him TWO HOURS to walk home. 

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Saturday morning I have Wilde call and invite Yusun over when I notice this.  That’s a heart.  Why is that heart there, under the married Bella’s picture?  You now what this means.  Wilde is going to have another confrontation.  *goes to get popcorn*

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Wilde: Hey Yusun, hoa about you come over and we ruin your reputation?

She ran right over.  Yusun never says no.

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She obediently followed Wilde into the bedroom.

Derrick:  The hooker in this town dress really nice.

Derrick was told to get lost, then Wilde and Yusun had fun on their “date.”

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They had so much fun that they forgot Yusun brought one of her children with her.  Time for her to go!

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After his date I scanned the town trying to decide what to do next.  When I saw this.  Too funny.  Of course I had to have a look.

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I peeked in all the windows wanting to see what should not be seen.  It was like the family had been abducted by aliens!

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Desperate, I sent Wilde to the lot.  When she got there I see this.  Brittney is in labor.  How’s that for Childbirth ESP!  Wilde patiently waited outside.

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TADA!!!!

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As soon as the baby was born Wilde rang the doorbell.

Wilde: Brittney!  I know you’re in there!  And I smell placenta!

Gross.

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Wilde stood at the door for three hours before someone let him in.  And I again had to reintroduce Wild and Brittney.  She must have terrible memory loss issues or amnesia.  I hope she remembers all of her children.

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After their quick re-introduction Wilde asked her to come home with him.  She agreed and promptly forgot who he was again.

Brittney: Who are you and where are we going again?

To the grave, Brittney, to the grave…

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Derrick was leaving for work when Wilde showed up with Brittney.

Derrick: Are you kidding me?  This guy has every chick in town and I’m stuck her playing the skin flute.

Poor Derrick.

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Brittney may not know who Wilde is, but she’s easier than Pauline Wan so it’s okay.

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Silly me, I must have forgotten that Brittney and Derrick hooked up.  Devil  Oops!  I don’t know why he changed into his athletic to slap her though…

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Brittney: Are you sure this will help restore my memory?

Dr. Love Wilde: Absolutely.

Tried a couple times and heard no lullaby…

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Hopefully Sandi’s uterus is still working.

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This isn’t what it seems.  Sandi is holding the new baby, Lara.  The baby on the cold ground is Staci she is due to age any day.

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Brennon French-Alvi has decided to fix the TV which has been broken since before he was born (probably).

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This is Bob French-Alvi, he, like some of his siblings has nose fangs. 

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Sandi: Rian, be a dear and go tend to your sister.  Mommy needs the bathroom.

Rian: Not funny, Mother.

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Lullaby!

I sent Wilde off to a party he was invited to, but more on that next week!

And that was it for Week 10!  At the end of this week Wilde was 99. He had a total of 248 children 12 of which were born this week.  I finally put all the names into Excel and discovered a few mistakes with my numbering.  I’ll make changes to the Children page when I can.

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The following teens became young adults this week (alphabetical order).  Leave a comment if you want one:

Abdul Wolff

Abdul_Wolff

Antony Donner-Sw0rd

Antony_Donner-Sw0rd

Audra French (sometimes her teeth go through her face)

Audra_French

Bill Bunch-Hart (the Bunch is strong with this one)

Bill_Bunch-Hart

Carlo Bachelor

Carlo_Bachelor

Collin Hatch

Collin_Hatch

Dominic Monaghan Courtney French

Courtney_French

Damaris Bunch-Hart (all I see are lips)

Damaris_Bunch-Hart

Donavan Goth (looks like he could have an extra chromosome)

Donavan_Goth

Dustin Donner-Sw0rd (he’s got his mother’s nose)

Dustin_Donner-Sw0rd

Edguardo Wan

Edgardo_Wan

Ernesto Keaton

Ernesto_Keaton

Erwin Sekemoto

Erwin_Sekemoto

Joe Landgraab

Joe_Landgraab

Kristoffer McGraw (dude looks like a lady disguised as a dude)

Kristoffer_McGraw

Larissa Morris

Larissa_Morris

Lydell Wainwright-Sekemoto (looks like his mother)

Lydell_Wainwright-Sekemoto

Lyndsay Keaton

Lyndsay_Keaton

Megan Landgraab

Megan_Landgraab

Mitchell Ursine-Wolff

Mitchell_Ursine-Wolff

Savannah McGraw

Savannah_McGraw

Shante Bachelor

Shante_Bachelor

Sophia French-Alvi

Sofia_French-Alvi

Staci Bunch-Hart

Staci_Bunch-Hart

Tanya Frio-Hart

Tanya_Frio-Hart

Tiffanie Hatch

Tiffanie_Hatch

Trinity Ursine

Trinity_Ursine

Vernon McGraw

Vernon_McGraw

Posted in Uncategorized | 44 Comments

Week Nine

This week started off with Wilde on the treadmill, working hart to live longer.  And UGH, I forgot how hard it is to play with all of this lag!

Once the clock struck seven I sent Wilde over to the only non pregnant female sim’s home: Kaylynn Landgraab.

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That’s Tyler Langerak, Wilde and Kaylynn’s first child together.  He wants to be just like his father.  He’ll need to move to another town first.

Sending Wilde over to Kaylynn’s house didn’t go over well.  Since it was a Sunday all the kids were home.  Wilde and Kaylynn could not get it on!  There were children in every room and they would not be shooed away!  Wilde finally invited Kaylynn home with him.

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Where they promptly got it on and Derrick walked in to see what was happening.

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Kaylynn was not happy to see Derrick in the room when they came out from beneath the sheets and she blamed Wilde.  Here she is spreading her arms trying to intimidate Wilde by making herself look larger, like an angry bear.  Give it three days Kaylynn, you’ll be as big as a house.

Wilde: Maybe you should go home and cool off a bit.

Wilde had to get her out of his house.  His Childbirth ESP had just tingled and he needed to get to Darlene’s house.

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But first Wilde felt the need to attack Derrick for his attempted cock-blocking.  Look at those shocked anime eyes.  Don’t cry Derrick, Wilde is just grumpy because I won’t buy him a cane.

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It looks like he’s pleading for my help!  I almost feel sorry for him, but he decided to move in here all on his own.  (Not really.)

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Wilde then left the house and drove over to Darlene’s where he was greeted by their daughter Staci.  Her haircut look like she battled a pair of scissors and lost.

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As Wilde walked into the house Jamie (Jolina) Bunch died.  Wilde felt a tinge of sadness before he remembered there was work to be done.

Unfortunately, Darlene snuck out the back of the house as Wilde walked in.  So he called her up and invited her out on a date to the theater!!!  Oh, how I have missed Wilde, not the lag though.  I have not missed the lag.

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Joyce Crumplebottom-Steel was there and recognized her father immediately.  I don’t know what kind of movies they feature at this theater, but that guy has a baby in his pocket!

Anyway, Wilde and Darlene went into the theater and found a dark corner somewhere and got. it. on!

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When Darlene and Wilde left I received the above pop up.  I think we all know Barrett is just trying to save face.  We all know what Darlene was doing in that movie theater with Wilde!  Life must be hard for poor Barrett, not only is he stuck wit one of the ugliest sims in Sunset Valley.  But he’s married to his father’s AND half-brother’s sloppy seconds.

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As Wilde returned home Bella gave birth.  Wilde got right back into his car and drove over to her house.

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I’d forgotten how easy these women are.  Wilde is so screwed when that reputation system kicks in.

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Wilde followed Bella up to the bathroom where they did it in the shower.  I love that they can now do it in the shower.  With all of these over crowded houses it makes Wilde’s life much easier.

After a successful impregnation Wilde went home to his treadmill.

Monday nothing really happened.  No babies were born and no one was impregnated.  I spend most of the day trying to get Wilde into the school to present a check!  It took all day.

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He came home to Derrick passed out on the floor.

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During Wilde’s nightly cardio routine I received this pop up.  Looks like Jeremiah is helping to rid Pauline of her cobweb problem.

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Anyone else a little worried there may be subliminal messages in his music?  If he starts writing books I’m going to get nervous.

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Early Tuesday morning Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave birth.

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7:00 am rolled around and I sent Wilde to her house.  He wasn’t granted access until 1:30 pm because of llllllaaaaaaaagggggg…  *rips at hair*

Is it just me or is Lisa really starting to look hideous?  I mean, she’s nothing like her sister, but she’s still been beat with an ugly stick.

Widle: We should go upstairs and embarrass your children.

Notice Widle never claims his children.

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Danielle was on the floor by the bed effectively blocking Wilde’s way.  Sims can walk over toys, but he can’t step over a freaking infant?  I had to break a self-imposed unofficial rule: I had Wilde pick up his daughter.

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Then Lisa’s daughter, Jenny walks in!  GET OUUUUUUT!!!  Get out!

Wilde: Look, this really shouldn’t be a family affair.  I really don’t perform well when there is an audience.

Poor Wilde, he’s already making excuses for “issues.”  Someone should introduce him to that little blue pill called Viagra.

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Wilde ever so gently placed his infant daughter on. the. floor.

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Wilde and Lisa moved into the neighboring bathroom to continue with their “relations.”  Notice they both are having lingering thought of the baby.  Perhaps they were feeling a little guilty about ignoring her or leaving her on the hall floor, but it didn’t stop them from getting it on in the shower.

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Oh look, another child was born freeing up another womb!  Fear not, Brittney, before your uterus can shrink back to it’s original size Wilde will have left his seed in you!

(Was that a little too much?)

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Once there Wilde couldn’t wait to get down to business.  He was left waiting on the stoop until this one Regina Morris came home.

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Because Brittney was far too involved in her book to bother with the door.  She’s forgotten that she’s on my shit list.  She better hope Wilde dies before she becomes an elder; that’s all I have to say.

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Upon entering the home, Wilde was greeted by a Brittney that PRETENDED NO TO KNOW HIM!  Again with this?

Brittney: Oh, hello.  it’s so nice to meet you.

Wilde: Umm, yeah, hello, I’m the father of your children and siblings.

Alright that is gross.

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After the introduction things proceeded like they known each other since she was a child and she invited him to her shower.  I can’t believe I just typed that…

Brittney: Would you like to see how it works?  I could show you.

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Karissa was not happy to walk into the bathroom at that particular moment.

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Karissa: You disgust me.

Wilde: Don’t hate the player; hate the game.

Lame, Wilde, that is so lame!

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Brittney exited the shower and  was immediately regretful.

Brittney: What did I just do?

Wilde: yeah, I get that a lot.

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Yusun gave Wilde another boy!

It was too late to bless the other ladies (Sandi and Yusun) with children.  Wilde went home and spent the rest of the night with his treadmill.

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I decided to check out how things were happening around town when I spotted Lisa (Bunch) McGraw leaving the market with a toddler clinging to her for dear life!

Griselda Wan: Wow, look at that.  She’s like a baby koala.

Wednesday: Wilde ran until precisely 7:00 am then he went over to Yusun’s house on a mission.  Mission: Impregnation.

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Check it out, I finally gave Yusun her old hairstyle again.  Yay for me!

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As soon as Wilde and Yusun entered the house and started making out.  Her brother threw a bitch-fit!  It seems that Yusun is in a relationship with some guy.  Like that even matters to me Wilde.  With a red dagger over his head, Ahmad ran over to Yusun and backhanded her like he was her pimp!

Ahmad: Did you forget about (some guy)!  I can’t believe I witnessed this!!

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To add insult to injury Yusun’s sister Marilyn followed suit.

Marilyn: Snap out of it, Yusun!  What would Mother do?

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Listening to her sister’s words, Yusun did exactly what her mother would have done.  Cheeks still stinging she went upstairs and met Wilde in her room.

Yusun: Th-They attacked me…

Wilde: *is no listening*

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Yusun: Can you make the pain go away?

Wilde: For about three minutes.  I’ve got to be somewhere after this.

Wilde had to get his butt over to Sandi French-Alvi’s house and knock her up too.

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Ready for a badly written/acted soap opera?

Wilde: You know why I’m here, Sandi.

Sandi: …yes, I do…

Wilde: Turn around, Sandi.

Sandi:  …no…

Wilde: Sandi.

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Sandi: *turns* Oh Wilde, I can’t fight it anymore.  Be gentle with me…

Then Wilde and Sandi did it in the shower while Elsa sat on the couch with Thorton Wolff staring at a broken TV.  Weird.

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Before Wilde and Sandi were through Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab had her child.

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Then Darlene and Bella had their babies.  Thursday looks like a busy day for Wilde.  Seriously, with all this lag Wilde can only manage to get 2-3 ladies pregnant a day.

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Thursday morning around 7:00 am Wilde jumped off the treadmill and moodlet managed himself to a happy place then drover over to Darlene Bunch-Hart’s place.  He had baby making to do and Darlene was looking forward to it!

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Dewayne and Eve Landgraab did the best cock blocking they could by crying in unison.

Enjoy the pic spam:

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Finally Wilde was granted access into Kaylynn’s pants house and he ruins it by nearly wetting his pants.

Wilde: This is your fault; you and your diaper!

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And was then distracted and roped into a conversation by his daughter Susanne Landgraab.  No time, Wilde, NO TIME!  You still have to visit Bella today!

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Move over Theater, Wilde’s new favorite spot seems to be the shower.

Wilde: Jeez, I have got to take a leak!  Wait for the shower, wait for the shower…

Okay, gross…  Hey, there’s a Seinfeld episode about that!

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Wilde didn’t make it to the shower or toilet, but I don’t think Kaylynn noticed.  She had other problems.

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Finally!  And there was a lullaby.  Now, how to explain that puddle by the door?

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Before he had to explain the pee puddle by the door Wilde was dressed and out the door on his way to Bella’s house.

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Bella’s son Feisal Sekemoto (not to be confused with Feisal Wainwright-Sekemoto, the late Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto’s son) started to cause a bit of trouble.

Feisal: BOOOOO!  Wilde Oates, you’re publicly disgraced!

Wilde has been getting those stupid moodlets for having children out of wedlock.  Like he cares!

Bella: Feeeeeisaaaaal, What are you trying to do?!  Don’t you ruin this for me!

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Bella’s eyes are scary!

Bella: Don’t you have an after school activity or job?  Get out of here!

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After Feisal was forced to leave home, Bella and Wilde ended up in the bedroom.  Before they could get down to business Bella had some concerns.

Bella: Does the downstairs plumbing still work?

Wilde:  What?  you want me to check your plumbing?  I’m not a handyman, I’m IMPREGNATOR MAN, HERE TO SPREAD MY SEED!

Bella: No, does your downstairs plumbing work?

Wilde: You mistake me for a lesser man!  My Jimmie Johnson is always ready to stand at attention.

I bet you wish you could unread that!  They got it on like two honeymooning rabbits.  There was a lullaby and Wilde went home to his treadmill.

Friday morning and all the women were still pregnant.  Wilde used this opportunity to visit the children’s ward at the hospital.  As Wilde was spending time with the children (not his own), drama was happening outside.

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I’ll say they were.

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I don’t know who started it, but Logan Jolina hauled off and slapped Bobbie McIrish!

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Then Bobbie ran through her “I’m scared”

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then “I’m pissed” actions three times

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before giving him the hand and ending their fight.  He lost interest during the second round.

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I sent Wilde to the Theater lot to kill some time.  Lo and behold Lisa (Bunch) McGraw went into labor!  And just when I thought nothing was going to happen on Friday!

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I decided to have Wilde take her to the hospital.  Ever the gentleman, Wilde decided it was close enough to walk and ran a head of her.  Not what I had in mind.

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Do you see how far ahead of her he is?  What a jerk!

Lisa: Wilde!  WILDE, WAIT FOR ME!

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Wilde: Where is she already.  Doesn’t she realize she’s in labor?!

Lisa: *panting*

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And here is where I like to think Lisa slapped Wilde upside his head as she waddled passed.

Lisa: Jerk.

While: What?

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And instead of going into the hospital with her, he decided to stay outside and chat with Ayesha Ansari.

Wilde: She’ll be fine on her own.  I was in there earlier, I don’t need to go in there again.

Ayesha: Why don’t you visit me anymore?

Wilde: Oh, whoa, hey, It’s not you.  It’s just the thought of touching you…  You know, now that you’re old.  You understand?

Ayesha: I miss you…

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Wilde was saved from any further conversation with Ayseha when Lisa exited the building with their new son.

Lisa: Don’t worry, I did everything on my own.

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AND THEN he let her drive them home!

Wilde: *sigh* I sure am tired!

Lisa: *plots murder*

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When they got to the McGraw home, Lisa’s son Mark was waiting.

Mark: Another one, Mom?  Where is this one going to sleep?

Lisa: I was thinking this one would sleep in the laundry hamper.

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Mark: Not the fireplace?

Lisa: No, that’s your brother, Vernon’s bed.

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WHAT?  You know it was Kaylynn!  What a beeeotch!  Of course, Wilde did leave her to clean up the puddle.

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As soon as Lisa put the baby to bed Wilde made his move.  What can I say, Lisa likes a man that takes charge.

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You can see it here, but Lisa dropped the soap.  She got pregnant again!  And then Wilde ran home where he spent the rest of the night on his treadmill.

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Looks like Brittney’s getting a visit in the morning!

In the wee hours of Saturday morning a fire broke out in the Donnor-Sw0rd home.

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Cyclone and Faye Van Watson struggled to control the fire before the fire department could arrive.

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Some how Tamara’s ass caught fire.

Tom” *deep baritone* AHHHHHHH!

Cyclone (off camera): I guess next time you’ll think twice about eating those beans!

Faye (off camera): Who farts on a match?  Who does that?

Screenshot-29

Tamara ran through the house.

Tom: *deep baritone* Llama dung, I just put my arm through the door!

Screenshot-30

She ran to the shower and put out the fire in pants.  I wonder if that is what Fire Crotch is like?

That’s was awesome, but let’s be honest it would have been better if Tamara had died…

Screenshot-37

At 7:00 that morning Wilde jumped off the treadmill and into his car, then he drove to Brittney’s house.  When Brittney “answered” the door she pretended she didn’t see him and started chatting with one of her daughters.

You know, she is al ready in my list and she is not even trying to get into my good graces.  Bitch is going down once she turns elder!

Screenshot-39

Finally Wilde was let in to chaos.  Look at all the sims in there, that isn’t even all of them that live in this house!  Too many teenagers.  TOO MANY TEENAGERS!

Screenshot-41

Things did not work out in the bedroom.  Not because Wilde couldn’t perform, but because there were TOO MANY TEENAGERS!

Wilde: How about we go to my place, kick Derrick out for a while and have some fun?

Brittney: Yeah…that sounds okay…

Bitch. is. going. DOOOOOWN!

Screenshot-42

On their way back to Wilde’s place Yusun gave birth.  Wilde penciled her into his next available slot.

Screenshot-46

Wilde and Brittney went straight for the hot tub and got on with the baby making.

Screenshot-47

After I heard the lullaby and Wilde was about to ask Brittney to leave her daughter, Somer walked in!

Somer Morris: Nuh-uh, I do not agree with this!

Wilde: Well, who invited you?  You can both leave, I have important people things to do.

Screenshot-49

After they left Wilde wasted no time and hurried over to Yusun.  Yusun never keeps Wilde waiting.

Screenshot-50

Like I said, she never keeps Wilde waiting.  They immediately went to the bedroom and shook the house like they were having a 9.0 earthquake!

Screenshot-51

Gonzalo Ursine (child): What the Hell is going on up there?

Joseph Ursine (toddler): *babbles*

Screenshot-52

Gonzalo: I’m going to go up there and see what’s happening.

Wesley: Why is Mom screaming?  Did a 747 just land in the street?

Gonzalo: Not now, Wesley.  I need to go take care of something.

Screenshot-55

Gonzalo angrily made his way up the stairs and to the bedroom.

Gonzalo: Mom!  What are you wearing!!!

Screenshot-57

Yusun: Oh, Gonzalo, you should be downstairs with your siblings.

Screenshot-60

Gonzalo: *mumbles* I need to take care of something first.

Screenshot-61

Gonzalo: Hey!  I have a bone to pick with you!

Wilde: Hehe, bone…

Screenshot-62

Gonzalo: *cries* What did you do to my mommy!!!

Wilde: Son, if I told you it would change you forever.

Screenshot-67

Gonzalo: *cracks back* You’re going to be sleeping with the fishes.

Wilde: I’ve heard that before…

Screenshot-72

Thankfully Yusun saved Wilde’s hide.

Yusun: Gonzalo, do not threaten your father.

Screenshot-73

Gonzalo: *is confused* Daddy?

Wilde: Whoa, what?

Needless to say after Gonzalo called Wilde ‘Daddy’ he took off.  Something about responsibility leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Screenshot-74

Before Wilde left the most amazing thing happed.  Yusun stood in the corner and changed her clothes while holding her baby.  I wish I’d had talent like that when my children were infants.

Because it was booming I sent Wilde to the local dive bar, Waylon’s Haunt.

Screenshot-80

Drama was happening outside the bar!

Erica Landgraab: Hey, heyheyhey.  Wouldn’t it be great if we did it and I got pregnant with your baby!

Lydell Wainwright-Sekemoto: No, we’re related.

Screenshot-81

Erica: Wha?  No, seriously.  Seriouslyseriouslyseriously.  We could do it right here, on this trashcan.

Trashcan: Oh no, please no.

Lydell: No, you’re my sister.

Screenshot-82

Erica: Hey, heyheyhey.  Wha?  No, seriously, seriouslyseriouslyseriously.

Lydell: NO! SERIOUSLY, YOU’RE MY SISTER!

Screenshot-84

Erica: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!  I JUST WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY!!!

Lydell: WHOA, whoa.  Calm down, Erica…

Screenshot-87

Erica: KISS ME LYDELL AND GIVE ME YOUR BABY!!!  *grabs for him* MMMUAH, MUAH!

Lydell: NO!

Screenshot-90

Erica: Loser!  We’re through.  You won’t date anyone in this town, I’ll make sure of that!

Lydell: I can’t date anyone in this town anyway!

*sigh*  I love crazy sims.

Screenshot-91

Inside, Clark Kent Edgar Kimura was playing the Cello to a gathering audience.

Screenshot-92

Natalia Andrews (far left): Oh yeah, if he wasn’t my brother I’d be all over him.

Nikolas Bachelor (far right): *awkwardly move away* I might make an exception for him…

Screenshot-94

Reisa Keaton: WOOOOOO!  I LOVE CELLO!  And for the record I do not have chest hair, it just looks that way.

Vanessa Kimura (red top): Don’t harsh on the mello cello.

Natalia Keaton: Inorite?

Screenshot-96

Bartender: Waddle it be?

Lydell: Gimme the hottest hot wings you’ve got.  I’m going to stab them into my eyes and hope I can forget the things I‘ve seen and heard outside.

Screenshot-98

Vanessa: Ooo, sounds bad.

Erica: I can’t believe you’re airing our dirty laundry like this.

Nikolas: That bartender looks like a big guy.  I wonder if I could get hi to come home with me.

Screenshot-123

Reisa went into the bar’s dirty bathroom to cry over the death of her husband.

Screenshot-122

Sandi gave birth and it was time for Wilde to leave the bar!

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All Wilde had at the bar was onion rings.  They must have been beer battered…

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As soon as Wilde set food Sandi’s lot she stormed up to him. At first I thought this was rather cool, Wilde didn’t have to ring the doorbell and wait for an hour. It seemed Sandi was even more anxious than Yusun.

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Then she went PSYCHO!  She accused Wilde of being a cheater!  ?!?!!?   Whaaaat?  No.  Nononononononono!  This can’t happen, not right now!

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Oh Wilde, what has happened to you!  Look at how sad he looks.  He was all prepared to get some and she shot. him. down!

There was no option to apologize, though there was an option to ‘confess to ‘cheating,’ but come on, that is SO not Wilde’s style.  I looked for the ‘Wilde Stallion’ option, but stupid EA left it out.  They aren’t even going steady!

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She put the baby down crawled all over his ass again.  Wilde just stood there and took it like a man.

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He tried to give her flowers. It works for most guys when they’re in the doghouse, it will work for Wilde too, right?

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WRONG!

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I thought I’d won when I used the Woohooer’s ‘Try for Baby’ option.  They made out passionately.

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Then her common sense kicked in and she blew up all over again.

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I tried the ‘calm down’ option, that didn’t go well.

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Wilde tried to invite her over and failed.

Sandi: YOU can go home ALONE!

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Wilde went home humiliated…

And that was the end of Saturday and this update.  In the next update we will see if Wilde can repair his reputation with Sandi and possibly the other ladies in town.  And a big thanks to Generations (NOT) for messing up Wilde’s game.

At the end of this week Wilde had a total of 233 children, of the seven eligible ladies left six were pregnant.  And Wilde was wearing a giant scarlet A.

Wilde is now at the end of his life bar.  I can’t remember his age exactly, it’s like 92 or 93.  Hopefully he will be able to live long enough to see the women hit menopause!

I do have a question for those of you that download Wilde’s children: Should I put up a list of CC content?

The following teens have become young adults this week (alphabetical order, by first name):

EDIT: If you want one for download leave a comment.

Adria Morris

Adria_Morris

Alisha Morris

Alisha_Morris

Celeste Bachelor

Celeste_Bachelor

Christa Jolina

Christa_Jolina

Clay Donner-Sw0rd

Clay_Donner-Sw0rd

Cleveland Crumplebottom-Steel

Cleveland_Crumplebottom-Steel

Cornell Bunch-Hart

Cornell_Bunch-Hart

Cortney Ansari

Cortney_Ansari

Darrick Hatch

Darrick_Hatch

Edgar Kimura

Edgar_Kimura

Feisal Wainwright-Sekemoto

Feisal_Wainwright-Sekemoto

Feisal Sekemoto

Feisal_Sekemoto

Felipe Bunch

Felipe_Bunch

Frederico McGraw

Frederico_McGraw

Gerardo Landgraab

Gerardo_Landgraab

Glenn Hatch – This happened naturally.  He looks like he probably lives in his mother’s basement.

Glenn_Hatch

Hillary Bunch

Hillary_Bunch

Isaiah Crumplebottom-Steel

Isaiah_Crumplebottom-Steel

Karissa Morris

Karissa_Morris

Kelley Mae

Kelley_Mae

Kiana Alto

Kiana_Alto

Leila Bachelor

Leila_Bachelor

Lincoln Bachelor

Lincoln_Bachelor

Lydia Crumplebottom-Steel

Lydia_Crumplebottom-Steel

Marianne Landgraab – I just noticed there is something wonky about the dress she is wearing (shoulders)

Marianne_Landgraab

Marisa Wainwright-Sekemoto

Marisa_Wainwright-Sekemoto

Naomi Ansari

Naomi_Ansari

Natalia Andrews

Natalia_Andrews

Quinn Bachelor

Quinn_Bachelor

Regina Morris

Regina_Morris

Reisa Keaton

Reisa_Keaton

Rosie Kimura

Rosie_Kimura

Salvador Andrews (This guy has a hug jaw.)

Salvador_Andrews

Shasta McGraw

Shasta_McGraw

Shauna Alto

Shauna_Alto

Somer Morris

Somer_Morris

Susanne Landgraab

Susanne_Landgraab

Tammie (Worm Lips) Wainwright-Sekemoto

Tammie_Wainwright-Sekemoto

Tracy Alto

Tracy_Alto

Venus Langraab

Venus_Landgraab

Vera Morris

Vera_Morris

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 35 Comments

Week Eight

Before I get started a note.  I have started using Windows Live Writer for my posts because I was having formatting issues with WordPress.  If you see any issues please let me know, this is my first post with Live Writer.

I keep getting notices about married couples that want to move in together but can’t because they can’t find a house to move into.  So, the first thing I did in Week Eight was to plop more houses around town and bless a few families with a little ‘Government Money.’  Hopefully that will appease the whiners for a while. As soon as Wilde was finished with his run on the treadmill I sent him to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s house.  She was the only woman in town not pregnant.  That is, the only woman with a working reproductive system and not a child of Wilde’s. Wilde must have eaten his Total Cereal that morning because they got it on like he wasn’t scared of breaking a hip!

1

Kaylynn: *PFFFFT*

Wilde: Oh I hope you didn’t just fart in here.

Kaylynn: *blushes* It must have been the bed.

I know I said I wasn’t going to have anymore twin parties, but with all the women pregnant there is nothing better to do!

2

Wilde: Party time!

Brittney Morris: Is this a baby shower?

Yusun Ursine: Why is the Kid’s channel on?  I have to watch this crap at home!

Then as Wilde was surrounded by women with large bellies his Childbirth ESP tingled.

3

Wilde: Oooo, someone will be having a baby today.  Could it be you, Brittney?

River: Why her?  I’m two weeks passed my due date!

I’ve been there, River!  So not fun!

For some reason in this picture elder Wilde reminds me of Bill Nighy’s character (Billy Mack) in Love Actually.   If Wilde could serenade a woman by playing the guitar naked he would!

4

Bella: OML (Oh my llama), Wilde you look amazing.

Wilde: I know.

*Sigh*  Billy Mack, I love you.

5

Yusun is making sure there is no inappropriate touching going on.

6

Yusun: *Glares at Bella*

Holly: Get over it, Yusun.  Wilde is the town doorknob!

Then River went into labor!  Yay, another baby!

7

River: Either I’m in labor or I’m having the worst diarrhea cramps I’ve ever had!

Wilde: Did you eat the turkey?  It’s been out for a while…

Then all at once everyone freaked out!

8

Sandi: If it’s diarrhea you better get to the bathroom!

Wilde: No, not my throne!  Do not soil my throne!

Lisa: My husband just died.  WAAA!

Bebe:  If you’re in labor you should go to the hospital!

Derrick: Awe man, I wanted some of that turkey!

Yusun popped in her crazy eyes and decided to play some birthing music.  Um, no!  put that thing away.  The Kids channel is playing for a reason!

9

Bella: I’m not eating that turkey; I’ll have a cookie instead.

And then everyone decided to just ignore the screaming pregnant woman.

10

River: AHHHH!  I’M GOING HOME NOW!

And she did.  River calmly walked out the door, got in her car and went home.  Everyone else also decided to leave.  The party was “awesome verging on epic” because I can’t get a higher rated party!

Not long after she left River had her baby:

12

I normally don’t direct Derrick.  He’s pretty much just there in case Wilde dies.  But I decided to send him over to Jared Frio’s home to make nice.  I need to have Jared at more parties and Wilde can’t invite him over because they are enemies.

11

Jared: Anyone ever tell you, you’re too pretty for prison?

Derrick: Okay, I think I’ll just go back home now.

Derrick returned to the house and nervously cleaned up while Wilde ran on the treadmill. Not long after Bella had a daughter:

13

Early Monday morning Madison turned into an elder and crossed her off the useful list. As soon as he could Wilde paid a visit to Bella (Bachelor) Sekemoto.

14

Bella: Wilde, I’m starving!

Wilde: I’ve got what you’re hungry for.

Before Wilde and Bella could get to the bedroom Brittney Morris gave birth:

15

And then the game lagged so bad that Bella left the house before Wilde could even get his ass up to the second floor where the bed was!!! So Wilde went home and invited over Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto.  Who is looking pretty bad in her middle years.  Maybe she should stop spending so much time at the dive bar.

16

They were about to get the job done in the hot tub when lllllllllaaaaaaaggggggg.  Then she hoped out and ran out the door with an, “I gotta go bye.”  AHHHHHH!  It’s like they don’t want to get pregnant anymore!

17

I think I may have to kill off some of the adult children now.  Sunset Valley may need to hold a lottery.  Or maybe deleting the school would answer all of my problems.  It doesn’t seem to lag like this on the weekends.

The game lagged it’s way through the school day and I decided to have everyone over for another party, only this time it would be a different sort of party!  O.0

Before the guests arrived Lisa McGraw had her baby:

18

Perfect, she can get pregnant at the party too!

Oh yeah.  Claire Ursine and Vita Alto died before the party.  No biggie, half this town is going to die if there aren’t some improvement with this lag. 

The guests started to arrive.  Look here’s Jared!

19

I immediately had Wilde put the moves on Bella. 

20

Blair and Sandi seem to be a little jealous. Eat it, Blair, you had your chance!

They ended up in the hot tub where Jared joined them NAKED!  Why did I invite him again?  Oh yeah, for the drama!

21

Jared: Don’t mind me.  I ‘m just gonna give my danglies a little soak.  Ahhhhh…

>.<

With Jared being a third wheel I decided to send Wilde and Bella to the bedroom.  When they got out of the hot tub Lisa (Bunch) McGraw slapped the crap out of Bella!

22

Lisa: WHORE!

And before I could scream GIRL FIGHT it was over.  Bella and Wilde got it on in the bedroom anyway.  With an audience.

23

Wilde: They all want me.

Sandi: I’m going to burn that bitch’s house down.

Brittney: Damn, I need a new look.  This Grace Jones thing just isn’t me.

After I heard a jingle I sent Wilde to seduce Blaire Wainwright-Sekemoto.  Things were going great.  Wilde and Blair were making out and I felt confident that he would get her in the sack.  I clicked away for a moment to check on the party.  When I got back Blair was running away! 

24

Wilde: Foiled yet again.

Look at poor Wilde.  He doesn’t understand why Blair runs away at a moments notice. Why Blair has suddenly decided to play hard to get I will never know.

Jared was causing trouble with Derrick.  He just won’t leave poor Derrick alone!

25

Jared: Your hair, it looks so soft and silky.  Can I touch it?

Darrick: No.  No one touches the hair, old man!

Oh, I guess some things are genetic.

Back at the hot tub Wilde finally got Lisa to join him.

26

One thing lead to another and…

27

Lisa: Oh, Wilde, I got chlorine in my eye and up my nose.  It burns!

Who’s kid is that!

28

Morris Child: This place really needs more artwork.

And she wasn’t the only one!  Brittney must have been babysitting her sisters because she brought three, THREE of them to the party!  I had Derrick ask all the underage girls to leave as soon as possible.  This was NOT a kiddie party.

29

Brittney: Quickly girls, go grab what ever food you can shove in your pockets.

I don’t know why Brittney is wearing that because it’s not like she put out at the party or anything.  I mean she made out with Wilde by the hot tub and all.

30

But after I gave her a Rihanna makeover she pulled a Blaire and ran out the door.

31

Maybe she didn’t like standing in Wilde’s pee puddle.  Why is she wearing pirate boots?

Wilde only managed to get two women pregnant at his party.  Bummer.  I’m really thinking about getting him that Inappropriate but in a good way reward.  Problem is I really like the drama when he gets caught.

Wilde spent the rest of the night on the treadmill.  In the morning (Tuesday) I tried to send him over to the Morris house.  She got away last night, but she won’t today!  Or so I hoped…  Wilde sat on the porch for HOURS!

32

Wilde: What could be taking so long.  A man needs to use the toilet!

Finally Monika Morris walked out onto the porch and WALKED RIGHT ON BY.  Bitch!

33

Wilde rang the doorbell again and I looked into the windows to see if Brittney was stuck.  As soon as she heard the bell…

34

Britney: Uh oh, that’s the door.  Mommy better put you down.

Irfan: *babbles*

She went into the bedroom.

35

Brittney: No one will find me in here.

WRONG!  I see you, you cheap Rihanna knock-off!

Then some of Brittney’s sisters came home.  Walked into the house and when Wilde rang the doorbell AGAIN they pretended not to hear it!

36

Irfan: DOOR!  DOOR!  DOOR!

Somer: SHH!  Brittney said not to answer it.  It’s that old guy.

Vera: Aren’t we related to him some how?

37

Vera: I didn’t hear the door.  I am a statue.  I am a statue.

In frustration I sent Wilde home and had him call River (Langerak) Landgraab.  She came right over.

38

River: Why are your pants still on?

Finally, Someone willing to woohoo with Wilde!  After Wilde said good-bye to River I had him call Blair (because I was feeling positive).  Wilde invited her over and she said no.  She said NO!  So, I had Wilde call and ask her five more times just for the hell of it.  She said no every.single.time.

Yusun had another baby, but I couldn’t be bothered with knocking her up at the moment.

40

Desperation made me go to town view and look for Blair and Brittney (who was no longer home.  She must have ran right after Wilde left her porch).  Blair was walking into the local dive bar.

41

Blair: That man keeps buggin me.  I’ll stick his picture up on the dart board.

Who did I send to the bar? 

42

Wilde: I could go for some bar food right about now.

I sent Wilde over to chat with Blair and invite her home.

43

For some unknown reason Blair thought Wilde was being rude!  Whaaaat?  What could be rude about calling someone six times in a row and then following them to the bar?

44

45

Blair: I just don’t want to come over!

Throughout the day I tried different things to help with lag.  First I placed a new school, it didn’t work.  Then I decided to trigger the age transitions for a bunch of teens and kids.  If that doesn’t work I plan to kill off a bunch of useless adults.  Like those that are giving me problems Blair and Brittney.  I may not be able to kill Blair and Brittney just yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take their loved ones away!  BWAHAHAH!!!! *drunk with power*

Instead of beating a dead horse (more than I already had) I sent Wilde to visit Yusun.

47

And then it all made sense; Blair had been going through The Change.

46

After Yusun and Wilde made a baby I sent him over to the Morris house because I can’t take no for an answer.

As Wilde waited outside for someone to answer the door Holly Alto and dead to me.

48

Vera: *ignores Wilde*

As Wilde waited he had another child, a child of the night.

51

Finally Vera got of her butt and chatted with Wilde.

49

Vera: You’re kind of old and creepy.  What do you want?

As Wilde was trying to get passed the gate keeper Brittney snuck out the back.

50

Wilde was finally able to talk to her and convinced her to come home with him.

52

Yeah, you know what’s happening now don’t you, Brittney?  Bown chicka wow wow!

They had to kick Derrick out of the bed.

53

Derrick: *grumbles*

Then things happened as they should and I nearly got up and did a touchdown dance!

54

That’s right, making babies!  I hope Wilde pulls out her weave while they’re under there!

By the time they were done and I booted her out it was Wednesday morning and time for Wilde to start the cycle all over again.

To start with I sent Wilde over to Sandi French-Alvi’s place.  Wilde waited patiently while the children piled out of the house on their way to school.

55

Once the children were gone Wilde wasted no time letting Sandi know exactly what was on his mind.

56

Wilde: Let’s take that coat off and let those things breathe.

Things moved along in the kitchen where the neighbors could see.

57

Sandi: What o you say we take this to the bedroom?  (I really can’t wait for shower woohoo.  It will be like killing two birds with one stone.)

Before they reached the bedroom Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab had her baby.

58

Once in the bedroom things happened as you can imagine, with a small audience. 

59

Two more children to make the psychologists of Sunset Valley richer.

After getting River pregnant and ruining the innocence of two children it was time for Wilde to move on.  He called Bebe and met her at the theater.  Wilde was feeling GOOD.

60

Wilde: Chalk one up for the Ol’ Wilde Stallion.

Bebe and Wilde got it on in the theater, but there was no jingle.  Sad smile  I checked Bebe’s status, she was due to become an elder. 

Wilde did come away from the theater with a negative moodlet!  Doesn’t this game know that Wilde does not care about public woohoo?!  He once went home with his man-berries hanging out!

61

To cheer myself up I sent Wilde to the beach to pick on Christopher Steel.  I tried to zap him with the moodlet manager, but nothing happened. 

62

Christopher: Wilde, we meet again…

Bebe: What are we doing over here, Wilde?

Wilde: Woman, I told you I don’t need you any longer.  Go home!

I tried having Wilde invite Kaylynn over via the phone, but she denied a visit.  So I did the next best thing; I sent Wilde to her home.  Once there she pretended not to know him (the nerve). I had to go through all the get to know you options! Talk about wasting time!

63

Wilde: Girl, it me.  The father of all your children.  How can you not know me anymore?

Kaylynn: I’m sorry, I just don’t know who you are.

And I forgot to get a picture of it, but all of their children were booing Wilde for public woohoo.  Whatever, it’s just another notch on his belt.  Then someone had the nerve to jump into the bed.  Rather than deal with the hissing and name calling Wilde invited Kaylynn over to his place and she ran, RAN to the door!

And when they got to Wilde’s bedroom Derrick was shooing the out of the room!

64

Derrick: Nu-uh!  Out!

Wilde: Son, what have I told you about this.  You can use the bed when I don’t need it.  go sleep on the couch.

65

Wilde: Oh Plumbob, I think I’m kicking me some Derrick ass tonight!

Kaylynn: I feel awkward.  Is that lint?

Derrick eventually came to his senses and bunked down on the couch leaving Wilde and Kaylynn to get reacquainted with one another.

66

Kaylynn: Oh Wilde, I do remember you!

Wilde: Could you just be quite until I’m done?  I need to concentrate.

Once he was finished he asked her to leave and spent the rest of the night in the treadmill.

Thursday morning I tried to send Wilde over to Darlene Bunch’s house.  Buuuuuut, she was busy giving birth.

68

Darlene: And he shall be known as Joaquin!

69

After the baby was born I sent Wilde over to her house.  No time like immediately after giving birth to get pregnant again! As soon as Wilde rang the doorbell Darlene rushed out the the curb and got in her car to go to work leaving her newborn baby on the floor home alone. 

70

Wilde: Wjhat?

Darlene: Did I forget something?

71

Darlene: I’m late.  I gotta go.

Emma Hatch passed on, good-bye used up and useless.

Monika Morris and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto died. I may have had something to do with it… Devil Brittney has been warned, hopefully in the future she proves to be more…agreeable… Blair knew it was coming, look at her just sitting there in the cemetery waiting to DIE!

72

Blair: Sitting in the cemetery is so peaceful…

The only bad thing about using Twallan’s mod to kill Blair is that she just disappeared.  I didn’t get to enjoy watching her die.  *is sad*

Because Darlene is the only female in town that I can get pregnant I scoured the town for her.  I was determined to hunt her down. make her quit her job and get her on her back!  Luckily I found her working at the Science Lab, Wilde hasn’t has a tour of the Science Lab yet.  I sent him right over.

Sims were leaving as he walked up the the door.  I was yelling at him, “Walk faster, Wilde.  RUN!”  I know he can’t hear me, but it helped cope with the stress of watching him CRAWL to the door.  When he finally got there two years later; Darlene was leaving!  *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

73

If Darlene keeps this up I may need to kill one of her brothers…

I canceled Wilde’s tour of the Science Lab and had him follow Darlene home.

74

Wilde: Hey, Darlene, wait up!

Darlene: *is too ugly to hear*

She has some seriously ugly.

Darlene was nearly home as Wilde was inching his way toward his car (Jamie).  I can not deal with this elderly walk.  He runs every night, how can he be crippled during the day.  Wait, never mind I just described my grandfather (gotta have those meds).  O.o

Luckily, Jamie is a fast car.  Wilde made it to the Bunch house just as Darlene entered the door and her brother Ethan came home.  I wonder how Ethan feels about dying today?  This challenge is making me crazy!

75

Doesn’t Ethan look stupid?  Like he probably had 8-10 years of high school?  And look at Wilde and his prissy look, it’s very Church Lady.

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Dana Carvey: Well, isn’t that special?

This is Damaris Bunch, she has Wilde’s coloring, but clearly looks like Pumba her mother.  Here, Damaris is berating the maid for taking a 15 minute break.

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Damaris:  Maid, did you dust the door jamb?  If I run my finger over it, will it come away clean, Maid?

Yeah, Damaris is a bit of a bitch.  She learned from the best though.  Pumba came into the room and noticed the maid quenching her thirst.  She threw down the trash bag she was carrying and demanded that the maid clean it up.

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Darlene: Excuse me?  Do I pay you to drink my juice boxes or do I pay you to clean?

But when Wilde walked in the trash was all but forgotten.  Maids must gossip because this one clearly knew who Wilde was.

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Wilde:  So are we going to go do this thing or what?

Darlene: Yes, of course.

Maid: It is zee Wilde Stallion!  I ‘ope I am next!

Aaaand, just the thought of being with Wilde was apparently enough for her.

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Maid: Oui…  Oui…  OOOOUUUUUUIIIIIII!!!!

She left the house in shame.

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Wilde: Why are we still here staring at each other?

Darlene: I don’t know, am I drooling?

And then Damaris had to put her two cents in and nearly ruin the moment.

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Damaris:  Mother, do you know that woohoo is the leading cause of WTDs (woohoo transmitted diseases) and pregnancy?

Darlene: Go back to your homework, Damarais.  You’re father and I have some talking to do.

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Damaris: Father? My friends are not going to believe this.  *takes picture*

Oh, but I think they will Damaris, for Wilde is their father also.

As Wilde and Darlene were talking Damaris and her Uncle Ethan started chatting.

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Damaris:  Uncle Ethan, did you know that my mother is a piece of trash?

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Ethan: Whoa!  You’re mom is a piece of garbage?

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Ethan: Sooo…  Does that mean we’re not related?

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Ethan: S’up?  *wink*

Damaris: Ew!  Of course we’re related.  You and my mother are siblings.

Ethan:  Nu’uh, I’m not garbage, I’m a Sim!

Then Damaris walked off mumbling something about being surrounded by idiots.

I was about to send Wilde home to his treadmill for the night when Bella had her baby.  Wilde went to her house instead.

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Wilde arrived at Bella’s house and was invited inside.  Then she left.  I think maybe Wilde should just go home and start a new day!

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See inside the window; that’s Wilde hoping to get some.  See here, outside the house; that’s Bella leaving.  It’s like Déjà vu.

Bebe Hart became and elder thus retiring from her role as Sim PEZ Dispenser.

Derrick Jolina become a mature adult all by himself.  Wilde was too busy being denied by the women.

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Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave birth to a daughter.

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I aerialy (is that a word?) stalked Bella to the movie studio and had Wilde join her there.

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Wilde: I can feel you looking at me.

They toured the studio together and she left with a bun I the oven.

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I then tried to squeeze in a visit to the McGraw house, but Wilde ended up on the porch waiting while everyone inside ignored  him.

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Giving up I sent Wilde home to the treadmill. 

The next morning (Friday) River had another child.

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Wilde invited Lisa over to his place twice, both times she said she would be right over, both times she did not show.  I decided to watch her house to see if she left.  She eventually did and she did not go to Wilde’s house, she went to the dive bar!

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Wilde was quite happy to have found her, I can’t say the same about Lisa.  That is Wilde’s son, Jeremiah Wolff.  He’s a Wilde clone.

Lisa also pretended not to know Wilde during her stay at the bar (weird glitch).  Lisa eventually left alone and Jeremiah ended up on the bar.

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Jeremiah: *dances*

Bartender: Shake that thing in my face and loose it!

Striking out for the last time, I sent Wilde home to burn off some steam on the treadmill.  Before the night was through Yusun gave birth:

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Then I logged out for the night.  When I came back into the game I sent Wilde over to Lisa’s house.  I was determined to get her pregnant!  Wilde ran the whole way there.  I was a little unnerved by the way he was clutching his chest as he ran.

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Wilde: Must.Not.Die.Yet…

No, damn you, you will not die now!  Get over there and knock her up!  We will run out of women before you die!

Wilde ran up to the door and rang the doorbell just before 3:00 am Saturday morning!  I love it when sims freak out when the doorbell rings.

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Federico McGraw:  Whoa!  What the…  We have a DOOR?  When did we get a door?

Lisa granted Wilde entry and recognized him!  Finally!  Of course Wilde wasted no time at all and put the moves on Lisa.  Everyone in the room thought this was terrible person person minuses were flying around the room!  I have never seen a sim get so upset and threaten violence! 

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Shasta McGraw: Why I aughta…

Lisa and Wilde ignored Shasta and her teenage hormones and made their way to the master bedroom where it was on like Donkey Kong.

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The night was just too much for poor Federico and he went to bed.  But before retiring he decided to turn on the stereo and go ape shit.

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Federico: GAAAAAH!  Why did I turn this on, I hate the stereo!!!

Outside the master bedroom door Shasta waited with tears in her eyes.

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Shasta: Why does it have to be in my room?

And when it was over (three minutes later), Lisa asked Wilde to leave.  First time that’s ever happened.

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Wilde left and ran on the treadmill until 7:00 am.

This is what happens when I leave Derrick home alone.  He’s broken the dishwasher and left a puddle.  There are cups EVERYWHERE and the toilet is disgusting!  Every time he uses the toilet it looks like this.  Not like he’s going to try and clean it up; that’s what the maid is for.

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But the maid has stopped showing up lately.  I think I would too.

Brittney gave Wilde another child.  Let’s hope she’s learned her lesson and will put out when he asks.

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Check out that toilet, it looks chunky.

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Just for fun I made Wilde use it.

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Wilde: I really need a shower now.

Remember the painting that Wilde stole form the Alto house?  It looks great in the Bachelor Pad.

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Wilde like paintings with ladies in them.

I sent Wilde over to Yusun Ursine’s place.  She welcomed him with welcome arms. 

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Everyone: Crying babies!!!

notice no one in this house cares if Wilde and Yusun are about to get I on.  Odd.  Perhaps because she has never been married?  I don’t know.

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Widle and Yusun: Gross make out noises.

I tried and tried, but I could not get Yusun pregnant…  When I checked her status she is due to become a mature adult.  Look at how upset he is because we didn’t hear the lullaby.

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It’s alright, Wilde, you will try again.

Sandi French-Alvi gave Wilde another child.  Looks like the last day of the week will be a busy one for Wilde.  *whip crack*

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Sandi met Wilde at the theater.  As they were entering the building Sandi had this thought bubble. 

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I’m not sure what to make of it.  Did she get fired from her job or does she have a burnin’ down below? 

After their date was over I sent Wilde over to City Hall because Brittney was there.  Look, my very first protest.  First one I have caught in any of my games!

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Tammie Wainwright-Sekemoto:  Prom Queens for science!  We support science!!!

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Regina Morris: Wait, what do we support? 

Tammie:  Science, Regina.  We support science, it brought us Botox.

That crazy old lady is Jamie Jolina.  She is such and avid supported of science it looks like she could beat Carrie Wolff with her sign just to prove a point.

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Jamie: Imagine what I would look like without Botox!  I support science!

When Wilde got to City Hall stupid Brittney pretended not to know him.

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Brittney: I’m sorry, do I know you?

Wilde whipped out his car which must have jogged her memory.

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Brittney: Oh it’s you. The father of my many children!

Then they proceeded to woohoo in the judges chambers.  upon exiting City Hall they were booed mightily by the protesters for public woohoo.  You know they were all just jealous.

Wilde was invited to a party at the Crumplebottom-Steel home to which he brought Brittney.

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Synchronized strutting it’s the coolest sport around.  So when your done playing Frolf get yourself over to a synchronized strut class!

The party was a bust, Christopher Steel wasn’t there, so Wilde couldn’t abuse him.  The highlights of the party were:

Meeting Hitler, I mean Kenton Crumplebottom-Steel.  It was his party.

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Eating burnt Mac and Cheese.

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Wilde: This is Mac and Cheese?  It looks like a bunch of dead flies.

Cleveland Crumplebottom-Steel: *chokes*

And before he left Wilde broke the john.

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On his way home Justine Keaton died and River (McIrish) Landgraab became an elder and might as well be dead.

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Also on his way home Yusun became a mature adult.  Wilde invited her over for a “wild night.”  This time we got a lullaby!

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Kaylynn also had another child:

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I just realized I forgot to get a picture of the school on Friday! It’s still really over crowded, but since I have made a bunch of the teens become adults my lag is slightly better.

At the end of this week Wilde was 86 he had a total of 221 children (16 born during Week Eight) and he has a grand total of 620, 898 Lifetime Happiness Points.  There are seven ‘eligible’ women in town, all but one were pregnant when I saved and quit at 4:23 Sunday morning (the start of Week Nine).

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Here is a look at all those children:

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The following teens have become young adults (alphabetical order).  If you want one for download let me know:

Aleksey Bunch

Aleksy_Bunch

Angel Hart

AngelHart

Annette Alto

AnnetteAlto

Benny Bachelor

BennyBachelor

Leisure Suit Larry Berjes Wolff

BerjesWolff

Betsy Wainwright-Sekemoto

BetsyWainwrightSekemoto

Brook Hart

BrookHart

Chance Langerak

ChanceLangerak

Christal Bunch

ChristalBunch

Corrie Wolff

CorrieWolff

Corrine Wainwright-Sekemoto

CorrineWainwrightSekemoto

Cyrus Hart-Wan

Cyrus_Hart-Wan

Elias Hart

EliasHart

Elizabeth Jolina

Elisabeth_Jolina

Elsa French

Elsa_French

Eric Wan

EricWan

Eve Bachelor

EveBachelor

Dean Wolff

DeanWolff

Faye Wolff

Faye_Wolff

Georgia Hatch

GeorgiaHatch

Gregg Hart

GreggHart

Janny Mae

JannyMae

Jeannie McGraw

JeannieMcGraw

Jeff French

JeffFrench

Jeremiah Wolff

JeremiahWolff

Jesse French

JesseFrench

Joyce Crumplebottom-Steel

JoyceCrumplebottomSteel

Juston Alto

JustonAlto

Hitler Kenton Crumplebottom-Steel

KentonCrumplebottomSteel

Lee Alto

LeeAlto

Letitia Donnor-Sw0rd

Letitia_Donnor-Sw0rd

Letitia Mae

LetitiaMae

Logan Jolina

LoganJolina

Mandy Hart-Wan

MandyHartWan

Meghan Donnor-Sw0rd

MeghanDonnorSw0rd

Miranda Ansari

MirandaAnsari

Heman Monte Landgraab

MonteLandgraab

Nichol French

Nichol_French

Nikolas Bachelor

Nikolas_Bachelor

Mr. Robinson Phillip Andrews

PhillipAndrews

Reid Bachelor

ReidBachelor

Rosalie Alto

RosalieAlto

Sammie Amsari

SammieAnsari

Shasta Landgraab

ShastaLandgraab

Starr Wolff

StarrWolff

Tory Ursine

ToryUrsine

Tyler Langerak

TylerLangerak

Vanessa Kimura

VanessaKimura

 

as

Posted in Family Man Challenge, Sims 3 | 17 Comments

Week Seven

I decided to start week seven off right.  A quick wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am with Yusun Ursine.

Yusun: Wilde, are you here for woohoo?

Wilde: You know it, baby.

Yusun: Ugh, who’s diaper is that?

Sasha Ursine: That would be your daughter, Trinity’s.  Oh, it smells like a llama crawled in her diaper and died!

Wilde: I get lost in your eyes.  And I feel my spirits rise.  And I soar like the wind.  Is this love that I am in?

Sasha: Oh, gag me with a spoon, Wilde.  You think my sister is dumb enough to fall for that?

Yusun: *butter*

That’s Wilde for you.  Totally ripping off a Debbie Gibson song.

Wilde: I can still smell that foul diaper.

Yusun: Shh, lay down and let Momma make you feel better.

Momma?  GRRRRROOOOOSSSSS!!!!!  I need to bleach my eyes because I wrote/read that!

After time well spent with Yusun Wilde went home to plan a party.  And it looks like Monika has decided to start robbing the cradle.

And this is probably a good thing considering Edmond was taking his father’s sloppy seconds.

Before the party started Wilde invited Lisa (Bunch)McGraw over for a quick jump in the sack.

Wilde: Is that something hanging out of your nose?

Lisa: Are you bothered by it?

Wilde: Not at all.

During Wilde, Lisa and the booger’s threesome Bebe Hart gave birth.

And after, while Lisa was in the bathroom, Wilde and Bebe Hart banged the headboard against the wall.  Jared Frio walked in when they had just finished.

Jared: WILDE!  You’ve been sleeping with my wife! (His wife is Tori (Kimura) Frio).

Wilde: Which one is your wife again?  Oh yeah, I’m sleeping with your daughter too. (Yusun)

Wilde then calmly walked over to Jared and asked him to leave.

Wilde: Look Jared, I need you to leave right now.  I’m in the middle of a party and I just can’t have an enemy moodlet right now.  We’ll talk later.

Jared: Oh okay, I’ll just go then.  Maybe I’ll run you down in my shiny new car!

Ayesha: YES!  My turn is next!

And I kid you not before Jared left I got a pop up that said he had a legendary time at the party! I didn’t get a pic of it because I fail.  And then he boo’d Wilde in the face!

By the way Tori (Kimura) Frio turned elder.  So the couple can live out their elderly lives together and raise Wilde’s children.

Morgana Wolff and Monika Morris also became elders.  And Nancy Landgraab died.

I hope Ayesha intends on cleaning up that toilet when she’s finished.  Wilde can be a little sensitive about his throne.

Ayesha: BLUGAHAHAHGUG…

Wilde decide to take the opportunity to do a little bragging.

Wilde: Do you know that right now all of you ladies are carrying my children?

Yusun: Plumbob, I’m hungry.  I must have a parasite or something…

Jared decided to stay during the party after all.  He danced until his back gave out.

Jared: Do the loco-motion with me.  You gotta swing your hips now.  Come on, come on.  Do the loco-motion with me.  Yeah.

Jared: Oh dear, I felt something pop.

Jared: OH!  That’s it, I can’t move.  Could someone help me get to a chair?  Or, or just down to the floor would be fine too…anyone?

Wilde had a private moment in the bathroom and became and elder.  And I guess he glitched, I can not use the hair he had as an adult for his elder stage.  It irks me!  This hair style makes him look like a cheap Wilde intimation.  And there are way too many stripes in this picture.

Wilde: Yeah, I’ve still got it.

Let’s hope Wilde doesn’t suffer from any other sort of “dysfunction.”

Wilde came out of the bathroom to find Jared passed out on the floor and Ayesha still dancing long after everyone else had gone home.  She better have twins or triplets, triplets would be good.

Wilde: Douche bag!  Hey, Douche, time to go home.

Jared: Nah, I’m good right here.  Zzzzzzz…

Ayesha: Woo!  Paaaartay!

It’s ridiculous!  This party stared at 2:00 and it’s now midnight and three sims show no sign of tiring going home.

Ayesha, stop vogueing go home already!

The following picture baffles me.  Lisa had been in the bathroom for a while.  I checked on her thinking she needed resetting.

Why is she naked staring at the toilet thinking about money?!?!  One can only imagine what she must do for money.

Lisa: Oh wait, this isn’t a public restroom!

Oh no.  He’s going to pee in the hot tub!

Jared: Hehehe, no one’s looking…

Oh!  It’s worse, much worse!!!

Jared: *naked spin*

Get out!  Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout.  GET OUT!!!!!!!!!111one!!!

Jared: Ahhhhh, this hat tub feels so good on my danglies.

I sent Wilde to the treadmill hoping his guests would take a hint.  Look!  I was able to fix his hair!  Who knew that deleting all those cache files would fix my problem!

Then finally Lisa decided to leave.  And I though Jared was also leaving, but when he saw the buffet table he instead grabbed a plate and decided to mow down.

Jared: I’ll come back for some cookies later.

Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab gave birth to a girl:

And again…

Jared is a seriously nasty old man.  He kept going from the hot tub to the buffet and back again.

And at 3:00 am Ayesha finally decided it was time to go home to her children.  Good riddance!

Ayesha: I better go home now.  I forgot I have kids.

Jared: *chokes*

Choke on it an die, Jared!

But finally Jared did decide to leave.

Jared: *sigh* I could get used to this view.

No!  Go home!  Wilde hurry and lock the door!

Finally it was Monday morning and with it came the birth of a son:

Since Wilde became an Elder I decided to move Derrick in.  In case Wilde dies on me before all of his children are born.

This will give Derrick and Wilde a chance to get to now each other, because right now they are enemies.  Not that he spends much time at home, I have him running all over just to stay out of the house.  I could have him throw a bunch of twin parties while Wilde woo’s the ladies, but that’ would be cheating.  😦

And as Wilde and Kaylynn were knocking da boots

Dorie Hart died.  She was elderly and useless anyway.  Emma Hatch is now old and useless…

After Kaylynn got dressed Wilde asked her to leave and called Darlene Bunch.  Then I tried to make sure Derrick would be away from th house until after Wilde got her pregnant, but I was distracted by this zombie!

Zombie: Braaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnssss

Really, that is a freaky looking glitch!  I think I need to keep this picture.  Check out the clothes too!  Perfect!  She just need to have have half her cheek missing and an arm hanging off.

Really it’s the product of half siblings Fay VanWatson and Jeff French glitching out together.  Note to both:  Do not attempt incest!

So let me share a lullaby my daughter Emily sang to me not too long ago:  Go to swee-heep.  You will dweam what you wuh-hike.  Just don’t let the zombies bite you-hoo.  Yes, that is a lullaby.  Don’t have nightmares!

And here they are as separate entities again.

Faye: Searching for nirvana…

Uh oh, the last person to find nirvana died soon after she lost her body.  Learn from Zelda’s mistake and go back to work.

With this distraction I forgot to give Derrick something to do.  When I got back to Wilde’s place I saw this.

In my excitement I accidentally 3’d through Derricks angry action. Dammit!  Bummed I sent him off to see a movie at the theater.  Then Wilde and Darlene got down to business.

FACT: I now hear the lullaby before the act is actually started.  Wilde and his woman will still be on top of the sheets when I hear it.

Tuesday early in the AM Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor had a daughter:

And Pauline’s eggs dried up when she became an elder…  D:  Good-bye Pauline, you were my favorite, but now you may as well be dead.

Bella gave birth to a son:

Wilde invited Bella over for a cuddle and ….

Bella: Hands off!  I just had a baby, You can wait until the stitches are gone!

Wilde tried hitting her with the moodlet manager, but it did not work…

Wilde: Whaaat?  You’re supposed to be putty in my elder hands by now.

Bella: Stitches!  I…have…STITCHES!!!!  Touch me again and loose that hand.

So Wilde asked her to leave.  She’s about to transition to her Adult life stage anyway, she probably can’t get preggers.

Wilde: Turning 50 isn’t that bad, Bella.  Look you go home and have your birthday and I’ll see you again after.  We can…catch up…

Bella: 50!  I’m turning 30!

Notice the baby in the background outside on the grass.

Bella: (thinking) Maybe I should get some Botox.

After Bella picked up her child and left the maid came in to clean up.

Maid: Hey, Wilde.  Is my turn yet?

Wilde: Marry someone in town and we’ll talk.

Maid: I’ll be in here scrubbing the toilet, Big Boy.

Yeeeah…  That’s not hot.  In fact Wilde drew a blank.

Wilde: Uhhhhhh…

Wilde invited Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor over for some scrumpin.  She came over in her Mary Kay car.

Madison: Oh Wilde, I really hope this is the year I get my pink Mary Kay car!

Wilde: Whatever, I don’t care.  Let’s hit the hot tub.

And they did.  They actually sat in the hot tub where Jared soaked his ‘danglies.’  Well, they did more than just sit in there.  It was beyond gross.

Madison: Want to see how long I can hold my breath?

Then Wilde got out of the hot tub and lost his bladder!

Wilde: Err uhh, I think it’s time for you to leave now.

After Madison left Wilde called River (McIrish) Landgraab who Wilde another son:

As I was waiting for River to show up I noticed this happening across the street.

I don’t know, it looked more like a bitch-slap to me.

Looks like Wilde has some competition:

Ethan Bunch is such a looser.

Wilde as invited to a party at Holly Alto’s place which he accepted.  He didn’t realize it was a birthing party.

Holly: Time to push out this baby.  VJ and Mom, I need you to dance and scream like your feet are on fire.

VJ: I feel it!  Oh hot.  Hot, hot HOT!

In other areas of the home the school aged children were calmly doing other things.  What horror have these children seen to have turned their hair gray so young?

Lee Alto: Dear Tory Ursine, I know you’re my half brother, but true love can’t be stopped…

Crrrreepy…

And while everyone was downstairs Wilde snuck away to check out the house.

Wilde: Hmm, pretty painting.

Wilde stole it…

What a bastard.

And outside he ran into Monika Morris, who looks to be suffering from some zombie-like affliction.

Wilde: Oh hey, Monika.  This is award…

Monika: Brains?

Holly finally had her baby so I sent Wilde back inside.

Look he takes after his daddy, already winking at the ladies.  And LOL at Vita Alto’s face!

Keven: This ones for the ladies: Goo.  Yeah.

Vita: Oops, I just crapped my pants!

Vita: Keven’s not the only one needing a diaper change.

Looks like Monika has a taste for young ones.

Monika: Brrraaaaainssss…

Tracy Alto: Mommy!

I sent Wilde to the bar for a quick drink before trying to woohoo Holly.  When he got there we were both surprised by what greeted him.  What kind of party is this?!

Hot girl on girl action it is not!  I guess we know where those two are headed next…

Giving up on the drink I sent Wilde to try for a woohoo with Holly.  I guess she didn’t like being woken up because she was not willing to put out.  But who goes to sleep during their own party, really!  Rude!

Holly: No, no.  Not now, I just gave birth and I’m sooo tired.

Wilde: I guess I’ll leave then.

Wilde left and went to Sandi (French) Alvi’s house.  On his way there Illiana died and Ayesha gave birth.

Ayesha disappointed me with her single child birth.  She should have given Wilde twins at least!

At Sandi’s house Wilde had her in bed in no time at all.  She even wore her shoes to bed.  Kinky!

Wilde: Just don’t stab me with one of those things, okay?

And before Wilde went home for the nightly treadmill marathon another child was born:

Wednesday morning started off with Wilde’s neighbor, Yusun checking the mail in her pajamas.  Before she could get her pregnant but inside and in a robe she went into labor.

She gave birth to her son on the front lawn.  Not like he won’t end up on the lawn at some point during his infant stage so he may as well get used to it.

Wilde of course decided now was the time to strike.

Yusun: Hi, Wilde,  I just had this baby and I really need to get to the bathroom to clean up.

Yusun: Oh no!  I’m not going to make it!!!

Wilde: You just pee’d on that baby.

Wesley: WAAAAAA!  Why am I wet?  WAAAAAA!

Yusun: I smell disgusting!

Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave Wilde another child:

I get a lot of skipping school notices and usually I just ignore them, but this one caught my attention.

Dammit, Edgar!  Get your ass to school already!

Jocasta Bachelor died.

Aaaaand climbing the stairs was too much for Wilde.

Wilde: Damn this elderly bladder!

Even toxic stink isn’t enough to keep Wilde away from his target.

Yusun: I wet myself, Wilde.

Wilde: So did I.  So did I…

Rule number one in child safety: Baby gates.

Wait, what?  Who needs to waste their money on a baby gate?

A couple quick shots of the school.  Here is the front of the school:

And this is Cancer Corner where all the naughty kids go to smoke,

Bebe Hart had her child:

Wilde strutted his way over to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s house.  She came outside and blubbered all over Wilde about the death of her mother.

Kaylynn: Blub-blub-blub, my mother died.  Blub-blub-blub…

Wilde: Awe…  Let me take the pain away for about 5-7 minutes (if we’re lucky).

And you guessed it!  Another child had to witness their parents woohoo.  There isn’t going to be a sane child left in this town.

Erica Landgraab: *crawls inside herself and finds another personality*

Let’s hope when Erica is older she learns it is socially unacceptable to go around without a top on.

And just so you know just how bad the lag is now.  When Wilde was finished with Kaylynn it was already 7:00 pm.  He went to her place right after he shtooped Yusun at 7:00 am.  For hose of you that can’t count that’s 12 sim hours!!!! *pulls hair*

Next Wilde headed over to Bebe Hart’s place.  The game was running much smoother since I came back into is with deleted cache files again.

Amazing!  This baby knew how to use the elevator!  And Wilde looks like he’s about to grab some fat woman’s butt.

Isaac hart: Do-di-do, Just going about my business.  My  Biz-NAZ!

This is Cyrus Hart and he thinks he is carrying around a baby.  I thought only women did that…

Cyrus Hart: *baby voice* Who’s a good baby?  You are, you are!  Yes, you are!

Cyrus followed Wilde upstairs and ever so gently placed invisa-baby on the floor.

Gently…

Genlty…

Hmmn…  Nope, still no baby.

Wilde tried being friendly with Jonah Hart.

 Wilde: You got tickets to the gun show?

Jonah: Are you talking about your noodle-like arms?

Wilde tried another tactic.

Wilde: Have you ever arm wrestled upside-down?

Jonah: Please, I would snap your calcium deprived wrist like a wishbone from thanksgiving five years ago.

Failing Wilde went over and put the moves on Bebe and EVERYONE had something to say about it.

Talk about a hostile environment.  Hey look, there really was a baby after all!

Wilde: As long as no one tries to nap in the bed (there is only one) that’s all I care about.

Nora hart: Oh jeez!  I went to the toilet for a minute!  I guess I’ll go do my homework.

Wilde: *barking*

Bebe: *meows*

Nora Hart: Sickos.

While Wilde impregnated Bebe for the 5,000th time I decided to scope out the town.  When I found Mortimer, I blessed him with a makeover.

Looking much better.

Wilde and Bebe finished up about 10:00, which left him time to get at least two more sims pregnant before 3:00 am.  He called Holly Alto, but she isn’t returning his phone calls.  I think it’s shame.  After all she sis have everyone over to witness her give birth and you know they all saw her hooha (<– look I made up a word)!  Then he met Ayesha Ansari at City Hall for a romp in the judge’s chambers.  As soon as Wilde walked through the doors she turned around and said she was tired and needed rest.  Bitch!  What is going on!  It seems the ladies don’t like an elderly Wilde.  Poor, poor Wilde.  I may have to start using Derrick Jolina to lure them over…

Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto did come home with Wilde and they had some fun in the tainted hot tub.

Thursday morning after a quick workout and shower Wilde ran to City Hall for a tour.  You see River (Langerak) Landgraab works there, hence she can not escape the baby making.  Bwahah Bwahah BWAHAHAHAH!

Then Wilde drove over to Holly Alto’s place.  She was in a much more agreeable mood.

Holly: That was most agreeable.  Thank you ever so much, Mr. Oates, now please leave.

Wilde: I was on my way out anyway.

Wilde decided to drop by the Ansari-Frio home.  The Ansari-Frio couple have broken up by now.  And by the looks of this picture Ayesha has changed the locks.

Funny, Wilde had no problem getting through the door and into the bedroom.

Ayesha: YAY!

Just before Ayesha and Wilde did the wild thing Darlene gave birth to a daughter:

Ayesha gave me no baby jingle.  I checked her status and she was due to become and elder.  What a waste!

So before he left I sent him in to break the toilet.

Wilde: Gaahhh!  I hate it when a women lies about her age!

Wilde then drover over to Bella (Bachelor) Sekemoto’s place and hit that.

Wilde: Let’s make this quick.  I need to take a leak.

Bella: Excuse me?

From there Wilde went home and spent the night on the treadmill while Derrick slept in his bed.

Friday morning I noticed Brittney Morris was now a young adult and working at the Studio Lot.  What a coincidence that Wilde decided to take a tour of the Studio that morning!  Fate!

Wilde left the studio with Brittney pregnant and demoted.  Oops!

At this point all of the women in town were pregnant except Lisa (Bunch) McGraw and her sister Darlene Bunch.  Lisa was at work so Wilde patiently waited outside her office building.

Wilde: B.O. Check.  *sniffs* Ahhh, Still fresh…

Gross.  I wonder if he checks his underwear for freshness the same way.

While Wilde was busy waiting for Darlene to exit the building I found Mortimer Goth.  It seems he still isn’t over the whole ‘Bella Betrayed Me’ bit.

Mortimer: Why, Bella, why?

Here’s a better shot of his makeover.  Maybe he, like Bella, will  now find true love.

Mortimer: I need to get laid.

And Friday means we need an end of the week shot of the school.

It’s like trying to guess how many jelly beans are in the jar!

Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor gave Wilde another son:

oh look who left work through the other door!  That’s alright, that’s Wilde’s car there behind her.  You can run, but you can’t hide!  I feel like woohoo shots are becoming increasingly boring so I’ve skipped those pictures.

After Lisa and Wilde made a baby I sent him to the theater where Madison was.  I guess, Madison was a little disappointed because she ran out of the theater crying.  I never heard the lullaby.  😦

Madison: I feel so violated!

Oh, go home and cry about it!

Victoria Andrews died, so long Wilde used up all your eggs anyway.

And then I got this pop up which made me LOL.

That would be because she’s dead!  Sheesh!

Wilde was invited to another party and considering how the last one went I was a little nervous.  Would this one also be a birthing party?  Where there going to be old ladies macking on each other?

Looks like I had nothing to worry about.

Wilde: Hey, guys.  Where’s the party?

Because this ‘party’ was a funeral for a goldfish…

Megan Landgraab: *crying* Bye bye, Nugget.  You were the best pet ever!  (Get it, Nugget.  Gold Nugget!  Yeah, it was lame…)

Look who was creeping on the front porch.

Tom: *deep baritone* Hey, is Wilde here?  I heard Wilde was going to be here.  Can I come in?  Hello?!

Interesting fact: Morgana Wolff is a dentist.

River: Can you make my smile whiter?  Also, is there anything you can do about my halitosis?

Wilde left the funeral early to pork Darlene Bunch.  Darlene is never a disappointment, she’s as easy as Pauline Wan.

Darlene: Let’s get it on already!

Once they were finished Wilde went home to spend the rest of the night on his treadmill.  On his way there Sandi French-Alvi gave birth to a boy.

Funny how this is just now news.  Really, where have these people been Wilde has fathered the whole town!

Saturday morning and the last day of the week Wilde ran over to Sandi French-
Alvi’s house and they played hide the sausage.

Bed: *violent squeaks*

Here is a shot of all her children (there is one more outside):

That place is pretty packed for a one bedroom, one bathroom house.

Yusun gave birth.  Guess where Wilde is headed to next!

Wilde and Yusun snuck out around the back of the house for a short stolen moment before sneaking up stairs to the bedroom.

Once there Yusun feigned shyness and jumped out of the bed.

Wilde: Where are you going, baby?  No need to be shy, I know you’re a sure thing.

She ran outside just to place baby Wesley on the grass then ran back p to the bedroom where Wilde was waiting.  Crazy!

Leroy: Mommy put you outside too?  Are we in trouble?

Wesley: *cries*

Once Yusun returned to the bed she and Wilde were able to continue with their ‘business.’  While that was happening Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab had a girl:

Bebe hart gave birth:

Kaylynn was busy showing her new daughter off at the bar so I sent Wilde over to Bebe Hart’s place.  He had quiet a time trying to get her into bed.

Wilde: Don’t even think about it kid.  Your mother and I have dibs on the bed.

I had to tell Brook (in the purple) and Jonah (blue boxers) to get out of the bed before I could get Wilde and Bebe in it.  Then when they were finally able to ‘relax’ Bebe went to sleep!!!!  I woke her ass up!

Wilde: Girl, I can’t believe you tried to go to sleep like that on me.  You know my time is precious.

Bebe: Oh, I’m sorry, Wilde.  I just had another baby and I am just exhausted.

Wilde: You can stay awake for two more minutes and let me do my thing.  Then I’ll be on my way.

That Wilde is such a gentleman!

After I heard the lullaby it was time for Wilde to go home and spend the night running on the treadmill.

At the end of Week Seven Wilde’s age was 79 and he had a total of 205 children.  I have given up on having twin parties because they are no longer working.  I guess my town is over populated or something.  O.o

Here’s is a look at Wilde’s family tree.  It gives me a headache.

The following teens became young adults.  Here they are after their makeovers. (In no particular order, Wildes’s children age randomly).  Again, if you are interested leave a comment and I will upload them.  Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

Colleen Donnor-Sword

Faye VanWatson

Sasha Ursine

Ahmad Ursine

Elbert Ansari

Brendon Wan

Sharla Mae

Brendon Landgraab (needs chest hair and gold medallion)

Chastity Alto

Abigail Hatch

Van Hart

Brice Wan

Karrie Wan

Alexandria French

Lisa Lobe Carisa McIrish

Demarcus Landgraab

Kendall Wan

Sherri Jolina

Chauncey Ansari

Esmeralda Hatch

Shelley Hart

Reagan Hatch

Krystal Hart

Nichol Hart

Wayne Alto

Barrett Hart

Karl Jolina

Tracy French

Justin Bieber Arturo Mae

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